Tao Lin - Richard Yates

Outside they talked about the melon juice.

“It’s okay,” said Dakota Fanning. “We’ll get it next time.”

“We can get it next time,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry. We’ll just get it next time.”

They hugged and Haley Joel Osment said “Honey-dew.”

In the morning he made a toasted peanut butter and flaxseed sandwich for Dakota Fanning while she was showering. He felt excited while making it and calm and alert while watching her eat it. They photographed each other on his apartment building’s roof then went to St. Mark’s Bookshop and stood on the sidewalk giving people pieces of computer paper that said “behead Tim Fenton” in all capital letters. Tim Fenton was the president of McDonald’s in Asia, Pacific, Middle East, Africa. A middle-aged man walked toward Dakota Fanning in a way like he wanted a piece of paper. Dakota Fanning looked at Haley Joel Osment with a nervous facial expression. Haley Joel Osment grinned. The man walked away without a piece of paper.

On Gmail chat a few days later Dakota Fanning said she was drinking a giant glass of orange juice. “I need to stop,” she said. “The baby is getting too many nutrients.”

“I want to pet my baby,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Have it now.”

“It’s dying. You can’t have it.”

“Pregnant,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“We are fucked,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Home abortion kit,” said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning said she would just starve herself. She said a lot of people took vitamin C supplements to induce miscarriage. She said something about jumping off her roof.

“Hit your stomach,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Babies are good,” said Dakota Fanning. “That baby barked.”

“I want that baby,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“That was a good baby. It was lazy.”

“It barked,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“It barks the parents into submission,” said Dakota Fanning.

“It knows how to use sound waves to confuse the parents’ sense of balance,” said Haley Joel Osment. “And logic. At home it probably flies around like a bat and laughs at the parents.”

“I want my baby to beat me into submission with a salmon,” said Dakota Fanning.

“I want a baby to drive a garbage truck into my house over my bed when I’m sleeping,” said Haley Joel Osment.

The next day after school Pedro drove Dakota Fanning to a clinic where she underwent a pregnancy test. Pedro was 19 and sexually attracted to men and used to drag Dakota Fanning up and down stairs in his house for fun. On Gmail chat Dakota Fanning said she could use birth control pills or get a shot in her ass every three months. She said Haley Joel Osment could just keep pulling out and she wouldn’t get pregnant. She said “There’s only one day that I can get pregnant on and there is like two sperm in pre-cum so if you keep pulling out in time it’s okay.”

“Pre-cum,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Pre-cum,” said Dakota Fanning.

“There’s only one day you can get pregnant,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Pre-cum.”

“Yes, one day. Except when I’m ovulating and I know when it happens.”

“I don’t know,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Tell Pedro to make all our decisions for us.”

“Okay. I’ll ask him when he comes back.”

“We will never raft in the river,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Yes we will,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Okay, good,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I did 70 pushups.”

“I can only do like 6 push-ups. I feel embarrassed.”

“I want to throw you. Were you very skinny before.”

“I was,” said Dakota Fanning. “I gained like 25 pounds. I want you to throw me. I will get skinny again. Ming Moon made me chubby. I’m going to sue Ming Moon for making me chubby.” She said she was applying for a job at an ice cream place and a fireworks place and as a wedding photographer’s assistant. She had quit McDonald’s. Haley Joel Osment said he had a friend in high school who was paid $3,000 a month to play bass guitar in a band. Dakota Fanning said if she hadn’t fucked up she could play violin for money. She said she used to be good on violin. She said she needed to stop fucking up. Haley Joel Osment said he would help her stop fucking up. “I just need to start eating regular meals again,” she said. “Now I only eat one meal a day and then sleep right after I eat so I don’t exercise after I eat and my digestive system is fucked. That’s why I gained weight I think.”

“Just walk and drink Edensoy,” said Haley Joel Osment. “When I see the Edensoy box I feel alive and better than my roommate.”

“I laughed,” said Dakota Fanning.

“My roommate drinks the other kind,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“You need to live here,” said Dakota Fanning. “When I am around you I eat better and walk more. I lost like 6 pounds in 4 days. When I’m alone I just eat rice.”

Haley Joel Osment said he felt bad when he ate bad things.

“I’m going to fast tomorrow,” said Dakota Fanning. “I fasted for 5 days once and could have gone longer but on the fifth day I was reading a poem on the toilet and I laughed and shit black leakage.”

“Black leakage,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I wonder what it was exactly,” he said.

“I feel shitty all the time,” said Dakota Fanning. “Feed me vitamins.”

“Do you want me to steal and send vitamins?”

“Yes,” said Dakota Fanning.

“No baby,” she text-messaged a few days later. “Victory.”

Saturday around 3:30 p.m. Haley Joel Osment met Dakota Fanning at Penn Station. She had told her mother she was going to New York City with Pedro and Pedro’s mother. She was wearing a black wide-brimmed hat and had cut her hair very short. In Barnes & Noble Haley Joel Osment walked to different areas thinking “Where is she, she disappeared.” He saw her on the second floor. “Let’s go,” she said walking toward him.

“Did you steal?” said Haley Joel Osment outside.

Dakota Fanning had stolen a Richard Yates novel and a Daniel Clowes comic.

They ate dinner at Zen Palate by Union Square then stood outside on the sidewalk. Dakota Fanning wanted to go to Haley Joel Osment’s apartment. “I want to read my new comic book,” she said. Haley Joel Osment made a noise. He said he didn’t want to do that. Dakota Fanning said she felt bloated and wanted to go back to the apartment. Haley Joel Osment looked at the cars on the street. “We are entering the next phase of our relationship,” he thought slowly while staring at the lights on the cars. “It’ll be okay probably. It’ll just be different.” An image of something was in his head and he tried to discern it but it wasn’t there anymore and they began walking toward his apartment.

“Can we take the subway?” said Dakota Fanning.

They rode a train to Haley Joel Osment’s apartment.

In the morning Haley Joel Osment wouldn’t leave his bed. He was lying on his back in boxer shorts. “Pull me,” he said with his eyes closed. Dakota Fanning tried then said “I’m going to rape you” and sat on him and began to rape him and then they had sex.

“You raped me,” said Haley Joel Osment. “We’re even now.”

“You raped me like ten times,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Oh yeah.” A few days ago Haley Joel Osment read on the internet that the age of consent was 16 in New Jersey and 17 in New York. He knew Dakota Fanning had done things with a 26-year-old and a 28-year-old and no one had gone to jail. He knew someone who was in jail and they did ten minutes of work a day picking up cigarette stubs. The person was not ass-raped, cut with a knife, or beaten. The person was Haley Joel Osment’s father and Haley Joel Osment knew from his mother that twice when she visited him he had leaned back in his chair and looked into the distance and said that life in jail was good. Haley Joel Osment would go to jail if he had to and be calm about it maybe. “I don’t want to go to jail,” he thought. “But I don’t want to do a lot of things. My life doesn’t matter.” He and Dakota Fanning wrestled a little and fell off the bed and lay on each other a few minutes then showered and stood in his room putting on clothes.