Tao Lin - Richard Yates

Sunday afternoon Haley Joel Osment rode a train ten minutes from Penn Station to Secaucus and then another train two hours from Secaucus to Dakota Fanning’s town in New Jersey. On the second train he read 110 pages of an Ernest Hemingway biography that said Ernest Hemingway accidentally shot his own legs twice with a gun when he caught a shark while fishing and that in the Spanish Civil War he had a Tommy gun and they were in trouble and he ran into an area and used the Tommy gun and then they were safe. Haley Joel Osment stepped off the train and saw Dakota Fanning walking toward him. She had on rain boots and an oversized black dress and was smiling.

“I am thinking about something,” thought Haley Joel Osment.

“We’ll make jokes,” he thought. “Sometimes we’ll eat food together.”

There were mountains in two directions and Haley Joel Osment pointed at them. He said he sat across from a 90-year-old man on the train and wanted the man to die so he could roll the corpse into a corner.

“What happened?” said Dakota Fanning.

“What do you mean?” said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning looked down a little.

“Did he die?” she said grinning.

“No,” said Haley Joel Osment. “He seemed really old.”

They walked to a playground. “Look at those babies,” said Dakota Fanning about a group of small children by the swings.

A boy was standing alone in the sandbox looking at his feet.

“Why is that one severely depressed?” said Haley Joel Osment.

They went down a slope to a valley containing the Delaware River. Dakota Fanning jumped while going down. “We need to hide the book, it weighs too much,” said Haley Joel Osment and put the Ernest Hemingway biography under a rock. He told Dakota Fanning two stories about Ernest Hemingway.

They sat on a cement slab by the river. In the distance was a steel bridge with cars going in both directions. There were no clouds and it was about seventy degrees. Sometimes it was a little windy. Dakota Fanning was looking at her dress and boots and doing things with her hands. “That’s what I do when I’m nervous,” thought Haley Joel Osment. “I do things with my hands and, like, touch my clothes. I am observing her behavior. Learning.” A button fell off Dakota Fanning’s dress. She took an envelope from her bag and cranberry dental floss from the envelope and used the cranberry dental floss to tie her dress.

“It looks pretty,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“If you didn’t send me the floss I wouldn’t have been able to do that,” said Dakota Fanning.

They walked to Ming Moon and ordered food and sat at one of three tables. Dakota Fanning had said on Gmail chat that she ate here most days after school. It was very bright from sunlight coming through the glass front. At another table a man in an orange shirt stared ahead with an intense facial expression. His food came and he stared at it. “Utensils,” he said. “Fork,” he said loudly. The Ming Moon employees stared at him and then very slowly looked away from him. “Fork,” he said and stood and walked to the forks as two Ming Moon employees walked to the forks. He picked up a fork and sat and ate his food while staring at it. A Ming Moon employee said “Oh, fork” while grinning at another Ming Moon employee. There were five Ming Moon employees. One had a lot of hair on the top of his head and the back of his neck and Dakota Fanning said he looked like a horse and was pretty. One was named Andrew. Dakota Fanning had talked about Andrew on Gmail chat.

“Andrew looks really happy today,” said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning said Andrew was severely depressed yesterday.

“Why?” said Haley Joel Osment with an amused facial expression.

“I don’t know. He just looked horribly depressed.”

“He’s on antidepressants today,” said Haley Joel Osment and grinned and went to the bathroom then sat by Dakota Fanning so they both faced outside. The town seemed very quiet. Haley Joel Osment pointed at a third-story window across the street and asked if he could live there. Dakota Fanning said he could. Haley Joel Osment said “Thank you.” He said he would sit in the room and make enough money from writing and walk with Dakota Fanning every day by the river. He asked about Dakota Fanning’s brother. Dakota Fanning said her brother went to college and had a nervous breakdown and stayed in a mental hospital then came home and now made $11 an hour driving cars. Dakota Fanning said her brother mostly stayed in his room after work with the door closed but sometimes went to his friend’s house to do drugs.

“I thought he didn’t have friends,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I think he has one friend,” said Dakota Fanning.

Haley Joel Osment asked if she was finished eating and she said she was. “You didn’t eat that much,” he said and saw that Dakota Fanning had a shy facial expression. He ate the rest of the vegetables and white rice and they left Ming Moon and walked onto the steel bridge. The man in the orange shirt was on the other side of the bridge walking in the opposite direction, toward Ming Moon, with a serious facial expression. “Take his picture,” said Haley Joel Osment in an excited voice. Dakota Fanning photographed the man using a disposable camera she bought for today. “Where is he going?” said Haley Joel Osment. “He looks so confused.” Dakota Fanning said she had never seen the man. She said the man was out-of-control. Haley Joel Osment was grinning very hard. “He’s just on a small, one-day rampage,” said Dakota Fanning grinning. “He’s good.”

They went to a ledge about twenty-five feet above the Delaware River and sat with their backs against a stone wall. They showed each other photos on their cell phones and talked about getting an inflatable raft to use in the river. They talked about people they both knew on the internet. A crane landed on an inlet in the river and moved its neck and made a loud noise. Dakota Fanning laughed and the crane flew away. “Maybe I will touch her soon,” thought Haley Joel Osment. “Do it now. I could move my arm somewhere. I could move my shoulder to her shoulder maybe.” They put their legs out straight. Dakota Fanning photographed their legs. Haley Joel Osment photographed Dakota Fanning. Across the river were four or five children.

Haley Joel Osment screamed a bad word at them.

He encouraged Dakota Fanning to scream a bad word.

She was quiet and then shouted “Cocksucker.”

“That was stupid,” she said. “I feel embarrassed.”

“That was good,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I didn’t expect that at all.” He screamed another bad word and a child on the other side screamed “Shut the fuck up.” Haley Joel Osment screamed “Sorry.” The child screamed “Fucking retards.”

“I think they’re older than 8 or 9,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Preschoolers probably say ‘fucking retards’ now,” said Dakota Fanning.

“That’s funny,” said Haley Joel Osment grinning.

A few minutes later he screamed “I like your red shirt” and the boy in a red shirt looked up instantly. No one else looked up. Haley Joel Osment and Dakota Fanning left the ledge and walked into a residential area. Haley Joel Osment said he felt calm and happy here. He said he would kill himself by walking in front of a bus if he went back to New York City. His train was leaving in about fifty minutes. Dakota Fanning said he could hide in her room. “Your mom,” said Haley Joel Osment. Dakota Fanning said her mom wouldn’t know. Haley Joel Osment said he was afraid. Dakota Fanning stepped in front of him and put her hands on his shoulders and looked at his eyes with a confident facial expression. Haley Joel Osment thought about turning his shoulders to get away from the situation. “It’s okay, I think, just focus on something,” he thought. “She’s different suddenly, power is shifting or something. I feel scared. Just focus on what she’s saying.” Dakota Fanning stayed in the same position and said a plan and said “Everything will be okay, okay?” and Haley Joel Osment said “Okay” and they continued walking. Dakota Fanning pointed at a house and said the person who lived there didn’t have to go to school anymore because of severe depression. She talked about other people in her town who didn’t have to go to school because they were severely depressed. She knew of three. She said she was severely depressed and still had to go to school. Haley Joel Osment said she needed to attempt suicide. Dakota Fanning said the other people didn’t attempt suicide. Haley Joel Osment said she needed to be on antidepressant medication maybe. Haley Joel Osment said “Why is everyone here fucked?” He said this was the best place to live because it had fucked people and great weather. He said the town should advertise itself as “fucked people, great weather.”