Joanna Kavenna - The Birth of Love

You did not see it.

You were not there.

We do not need to have been there. It is not possible for a closed womb to be fertilised. We are certain of this.

I do not know what is possible in your world. It is possible in mine.

Our world is your world, Prisoner 730006.

I know that is not true.

It is true. On behalf of the Protectors we ask you again, who is the Great Egg Donor?

From the sea her head she lifted,

And her forehead she uplifted,

And she then began Creation,

And she brought the world to order

On the open ocean’s surface,

On the far extending waters.

Wheresoe’er her hand she pointed

There she formed the jutting headlands;

Wheresoe’er her feet she rested,

There she formed the caves for fishes;

When she dived beneath the water

There she formed the depths of ocean;

When towards the land she turned,

There the …

Prisoner 730006, you are insulting the Protectors with this nonsense. Will you answer the question plainly?

I am sorry but I can be no plainer.

Why are you singing?

Because my heart is full of life. Even in here, my heart is full of life and my head is full of memories of what I have seen.

Prisoner 730006, we repeat so you understand. You are accused of the capital crime of conspiring against the Genetix and thus against the survival of humanity. You are aware of this?

Yes.

And yet you are singing?

Yes.

Do you want to be protected?

It is not important what happens to me.

Are you a member of a primitive death cult which despises the species and wants to destroy it?

I would never consider myself in this way, though I perceive this is the charge you will use to condemn me.

Once more we must caution you, Prisoner 730006. The Protectors hope to understand your actions more thoroughly. However we cannot afford to be sentimental in our dealings with cases such as yours, lest we imperil the majority. This is a question of billions of lives.

Billions and billions of lives. You are right. There are so many living on the planet. And yet is it not strange that lives commingle, that patterns form, that humans love each other even now, even here. I find this so wonderful. It fills my heart with this absurd and incongruous joy, I cannot suppress it.

You insult the Protectors and all who work to save the species with your words.

Perhaps humanity will cease. Perhaps all the species of animals and plants currently existing on the planet will cease. Yet I believe that life continues. The life of the planet. The life of the universe we still know so little about, for all your assertions. Generation and growth. Whatever you do, something will resist, something will not go to plan, and thereby the cycle begins again …

Prisoner 730006, you must be aware that your words constitute a capital crime. We cannot let you continue, for your own protection. Can you answer directly, who is Birgitta?

She is the mother …

Correction, egg donor.

… of a son …

Correction, progeny of the species.

The power is everywhere. That is what the guides said. And they sang:

Any leaf swallowed, any nut,

or even the breath of a breeze,

may be enough to fertilise

the ready mother …

Prisoner 730006, why were you on Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424?

Because of Birgitta. Because I could not have been elsewhere. Because even in this world you have tried to strip of mystery, something occurred that was inexplicable and I was drawn to follow it. Because I longed for a true home, a place I could feel — well, like a human, a true, flawed, ravaged, urgent, desiring human. I think that is why but there may be other reasons I cannot comprehend.

Prisoner 730006 will be taken back to her cell. She needs the attention of the Corporeal Scientists.

They can drug me all they like but they cannot change what I have seen.

Transcripts of interviews with members of the anti-species conspiracy of Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424

Part 4, 4.45–6.00 p.m. 15 August 2153

Second interview with Prisoner 730004, after first phase of rehabilitation treatment

Prisoner 730004, we hope you are feeling better after your treatment.

My mind is deadened and I cannot think clearly. I trust this is the intended effect.

We are working to ascertain your real names and identity numbers and soon we will also know the true identity of Birgitta. With these facts we can better protect you and protect the species from the consequences of your selfish species-endangering activities.

I cannot entirely understand what you are saying. My head is swimming in chemical filth. You have poisoned me. Before — there was a before, I know, before this place. Something before — fresh air. The sea. The great ocean. I remember that. There was something — the island …

Correction, Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424.

Yes, that is what you call it, isn’t it? As if by categorising everything, giving it a number, you can erase the destruction of the planet. It is too late. The Arctic is destroyed, however you number it.

You are wrong, Prisoner 730004. You are ill and tired. You have been starved for some time. During the time you existed in your primitive death cult, you were starving.

I was not starving. I had an abundance of things to eat. My body was enriched by my existence on the island …

Correction, Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424.

I am sick now, it is true. They have dosed me so I cannot think. If I could only think — what was it?

Prisoner 730004, do you want to live?

On the island …

Correction, Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424.

… Yes, if you call it that. On this island you name and number …

Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424.

Will you never let me finish?

We are interested in anything you say.

On this island …

Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424.

It is impossible to speak! It is impossible to think. My brain is doused. This is what I escaped from! I escaped this deadening of the brain. I did escape, didn’t I? Or did I dream? I dreamed of so many things. Was everything a dream? Was Birgitta merely a dream? I think this was her name.

She was not a dream but a real woman who was bound up with your delusions. Birgitta is not her real name but we will shortly trace her and then she will be captured.

My memories are fading in this fog. Where will I be sent now?

You are not entitled to ask questions, Prisoner 730004.

Entitled? What does that mean?

You are not entitled to ask questions. Now we ask you, who was on Lofoten 4a, Arctic Circle sector 111424?

I told you, I would not — I cannot.

You are sick. We accept your words earlier were a product of your sickness. Now we are healing you. It will be better for you if you co-operate.

But you told me you knew. You already know. Did you tell me that? My head is …

We will soon know. We are offering you the opportunity to be helpful. The Protectors are inclined to favour those who acknowledge their mistakes and seek to rectify them.

The Protectors. The Protectors are inclined. The Sexual Release Centre, I remember it said, ‘The Protectors offer you sexual release.’ The Protectors themselves, I used to think. I went there sometimes, when I was young. Of course I did. Everyone goes there. And everywhere, ‘The Protectors offer you food and drink’ at the dining centre, and ‘The Protectors offer you a good night’s sleep’ above your bed and ‘The Protectors offer you an allocated role’ above your desk and ‘The Protectors offer you a crucial role in the battle for species survival’ when you were harvested and closed.