B. Johnson: House Mother Normal

me to come and play in their pub in the city. I’d

never played in pubs before that. Because of my

disability I could not be called up. I was too

old anyway. But I had to go into industry, everybody

had to do that. I had nothing to do at night

times only go down the shelter or hide out in the

suburbs. So I was quite pleased to have something

to do. Shortly afterwards America came into the

war, and they used to pour out of Liverpool Street

station straight into this pub right opposite.

Somehow it seemed that the way I played was just

their handwriting. The word got around the

aerodromes in East Anglia and the pub did a roaring

trade. They would come in there with their five

days’ leave and lots of lovely money in their

pockets and say ‘Sing us the songs the old man sang in

the last war.’ They used to have a good time, I

was better off than I had been for a long time.

Nothing comes from nothing, I was

taught. But what about plants? The space occupied

by the growth must have left a space behind?

A field of wheat must surely have sunk by the volume

of the growth? If not, why not? These questions

should be answered. House

mother up on the dais again. Surely she’s not going

to tell us all those jokes again?

Yes, she is.

Groan, not laugh.

Heard it before. Shan’t listen. The

places I can’t reach. They must be getting very

dirty. Can’t scratch them properly, either. They

might be festering. They get wet when I bath, but

not washed. I am not allowed to be as fastidious

as I was. Or rather I am unable — Laugh! On the

word Laugh! you will laugh as ordered. Ha Ha Ha!

I went too far after the

rift with Betty. I just walked out on a job the

day after, and walked and walked all over, not knowing

— Groan, groan! I didn’t

care whether I lived or died. As it happened, I

lived. I don’t know how, at first. We had met too

many well-to-do people on our tours, and the girl

became dissatisfied. I can understand that now. At

the time it seemed bound to happen and very painful.

I went hungry once or twice, but soon found how to

ask for things with a fair chance of — HA HA HA!

I also offered to do

little jobs to help people out in return for the

odd meal or place to sleep for the night, and I

usually managed — Now what’s Ivy done?

Poor old girl. Just reading

her book quietly.

Who

wants to see hers? I’ve seen plenty of them in my

time, enough to last me a lifetime, thank you very

much. As for that great hairy dog….

One day I thought to myself

I can do better than this, so I went into a shop

and bought myself a penny whistle. It was a brass

one because they told me a tin one was illegal.

And as the fingering was the same as on the little

fife I learnt to play at school, it was quite easy

for me to pick out a few tunes. So from then on I

used to go drifting about all over the country playing

my little whistle and picking up enough coppers

to keep me going. But there were times when it was

hard. People wouldn’t give money to a young chap

of thirty-three or four or five who looked so hale

and hearty. They thought I should get a job, not

go begging around the streets with a penny whistle.

Some of them told me so, too. One man went so far

as to knock me down in the gutter, saying he hadn’t

fought the war for beggars, or something like that.

So I showed him my disability, and then he — Oh,

filth, utter filth! Even in France in the first

War I never saw such filth. In front of everyone, too.

Filth. Though she looked as

though she enjoyed it.

Not me, no feels.

Listen to her!

No, doesn’t matter

Ivy Nichollsage 79 marital status widow sight 65 % hearing 55 % touch 65 % taste 80 % smell 70 % movement 75 % CQ count 10 pathology contractures; asthma; osteoporosis, mainly of limbs; inguinal hernia; bronchitis; osteo-arthritis; among others.

… we had then, good friends, who used to come and see us,

just drop in there and then, never mind what was happening,

once they nearly caught me and Ted on the job, oh, that was

comical! We had to shout to them Hang on! while

he got his trousers up, but I went out and talked to them

without my drawers on, I just didn’t put them on, and all

the while we were talking there was Ted sitting across from

me, knowing I had no drawers on, on tenterhooks as to whether

I should uncross my legs too boldly, but Len and Enid knew

what we’d been doing, I’m sure, though not that I’d left my

drawers off, and we all laughed and had a good time, oh, we

enjoyed ourselves in those days! The

cocktails we used to get through! Every week there’d

be a new recipe for a cocktail in my women’s book and we’d

try it, invite the friends round to try the new one, oh those

were good times, the friends made up for not being able to

have children, and soon I began to prefer them, all the

trouble that children can be, I saw, and at least the

friends didn’t have dirty nappies, though they were sick

in the bathroom sometimes, the friends, that was a mess to

clear up, wonder I’m not sick like that after food like

this, then she’d have another sort of mess to clear up

after me, then she’d have something to complain about, the

old bitch!

I’ve a good

mind to make complaints about her and this food she gives

us, to my friend on the Council, I still have friends –

all the treats of our Social Evening, indeed, just like

any night is what it’ll be, as usual, give me a good book

any time, I just want to read.

There she is

again! Hurrying us up, I’d leave some of this if I wasn’t

so hungry. Never mind, Ivy, Doctor’s coming

tomorrow, how I love him touching me! Let

me try to work out a way so he has to touch me a lot when

he comes.

Difficult.

I’ll think of something, come the morning.

Last scrapings, horrible plates, not like the good china I used to keep for best, not even like the everyday stuff, either.

There, finished.

I’m finished, clear up, must help Sarah to clear away and

then I — oooh, my arm, the creaking, it gets set one way

and is so painful to move any distance at all after that,

aaaah picking up these plates

She’s left more than usual.

All right, Sarah, don’t wet your

knickers!

As soon as I’ve cleared up I’ll get my book out and have

a good read, I do enjoy a good read, we are allowed books

here. If that Sarah will let me read, that is, chatter,

she does chatter, all emptiness, on and on. Not like my

old friends, all of them, dead now, as soon as we’ve cleared

I can get down to a — Now she’s dropped it! Now she’ll

be in trouble, I’m glad. That’s it, give it to

her, silly old thing thinks she can move, ha ha ha ha ha!

the idea!

That dog. She’s dotty over that dog.

Right, last things, clear

up, let’s get started on the washing up, three volunteers

are better than an army of pressed tongue, as they used to

say, off we go, how’s your father.

spoon, spoon,

fork fork spoon,

knife, fork,

knife here’s a sticky one, who’s been

doing what with this one? The joys of