James Cain - Serenade

Winston had on a purple velvet dinner coat with a silk sash knotted around it, and he brought us in like it was all for us. He introduced us, and got us drinks, and Pudinsky slammed into the Pagliacci Prologue, and I stepped up and sang it, and clowned it with as good a grin as I could get on my face. While they were still clapping, Winston turned around and began to throw the show to Juana. She still hadn’t taken off the cape, and he lifted it off her shoulders, and began going into a spasm about it. They all crowded up to look, and when he found out it was a real bullfighter’s cape, nothing would suit him but that she had to tell them all about the fine points of bullfighting. I sat down, and got this feeling it wasn’t on the up-and-up, that something was coming. I thought of Chadwick, and wondered if this was another play to show her up. But that wasn’t it. Except that Winston would put his arm around Pudinsky every time he saw me looking at him, he didn’t pull anything. He put her in the spot, and made her explain the whole routine of bullfighting, and she took the cape to show them, and she was pretty funny, and so was he. Nobody could make a woman look good better than Winston, when he wanted to. Pretty soon somebody yelled out: “How the hell does a man study to be a bullfighter, that’s what I want to know.”

Winston went down on his knees in front of Juana.

“Yes, will you tell us that? Just what are the practice exercises for a bullfighter?”

“Oh, I explain you.”

They all sat down, and Winston squatted at her feet.

“First, the little boy, he wants to be a bullfighter, yes? All little boy want to be bullfighter.”

“I always did. I do still.”

“So, I tell you how you do. You find nice burro, you know what is burro?”

“A little jackass, something like that?”

“Yes. You get little jackass, you cut two big maguey leaf, you know maguey, yes? Have big leaf, much thick, much sharp—?”

“Century plant?”

“Yes. Tie leaf on head of little jackass, make big horn, like bull— ”

“Wait a minute.”

Some woman dug up a ribbon, and Winston broke off fronds from a fern, and with the ribbon and the fern leaves, he stuck the horns on his head. Then he got down on his hands and knees in front of Juana. “Go on.”

“Yes, just so. You look much like little jackass.”

That got a shout. Winston looked up, kicked his heels, and let out a jackass bellow. It was a little funnier than it sounds.

“Then you get little stick, for espada , and little red rag, for muleta , and practice with little jackass.” Somebody dug up a silver-headed cane, and she took it, and the cape, and the two of them began doing a bullfight act in the middle of the floor. The rest of them were screeching and yelling by that time, and I was sitting there, wondering what the hell was up. The buzzer sounded. Somebody went to the door, came back, and touched me on the arm. “Telegram for you, Mr. Sharp.”

I went out in the hall.

Harry, one of the bellboys, was out there, and shoved a telegram at me. I opened it. It was nothing but a blank form shoved in an envelope. “Is the messenger still there? He’s given you nothing but a blank.”

Harry closed the door to the apartment. You could still hear them in there, screeching over the bullfight. “Let me talk quick, Mr. Sharp, so you can get back in there before anybody thinks anything. I had to have a telegram in my hand, so it would look right... There’s a man down there, waiting for you. I told him you were out. He went up to your apartment, then he came down again, and he’s down there now.”

“In the lobby?”

“Yes sir.”

“What does he want?”

“... Mr. Sharp, Tony put through three calls today for this new party, Mr. Hawes. They were all to the immigration service. Tony remembered the number from a year ago, when his brother came from Italy. Tony thinks this man is a federal, come to take Miss Montes away.”

“Is Tony on?”

“We’re both on. Get back in there, Mr. Sharp, before this Hawes gets tipped off. Get her out of there, and have her press the elevator button twice. Either me or Tony will get her out through the basement, and then you can stall this guy till she gets under cover. Tony thinks his people will take her in. They’re fans of yours.”

I had a wad of money in my pocket. I took it out and peeled off a ten. “Split that with Tony. There’ll be more tomorrow. She’ll be right down.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And thanks. More thanks than I know how to say.”

I stepped back in. I took care to be stuffing the telegram in my pocket as I came. Winston jumped up from where he was still galumphing around the floor, and came over. “What is it, Jack?”

“Just some greetings from Hollywood.”

“Bad?”

“Little bit.”

“Well, what is it? By God, I’d love to wake the sons-of-bitches up and tell them where they get off.”

“Wouldn’t wake them up, that’s the trouble. It’s only ten o’clock there. To hell with it, I’ll tell you later. And to hell with bullfighting. Let’s dance.”

“Dance we shall. Hey, professor — music!”

Pudinsky began to bat out more jazz, they grabbed each other, and I grabbed Juana. “Now get a grin on your face. I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Yes, here is nice grin.”

I laid it out for her fast. “This Pudinsky thing is nothing but a smoke screen. He’s turned in an anonymous tip against you, then you’re to be taken to Ellis Island, then I’m to run to him for help, then he’s to move heaven and earth — and fail. You’re to be sent back to Mexico—”

“And then he gets you.”

“So he thinks.”

“So I think, too.”

“Will you for God’s sake stop that and—”

“Why you tremble?”

“I’m plenty scared of him, that’s why. Now listen—”

“Yes, I listen.”

“Get out of here, quick. Get out on some stall so he thinks you’re coming back. Change your dress, pack, as fast as you can. If the buzzer rings, keep still and don’t answer. Go to the elevator, ring twice, and the boys will take care of you. Don’t call me. Tomorrow I’ll reach you through Tony. Here’s some money.”

I had palmed the wad, and slipped it down the back of her dress. “And once more, step on it!”

“Yes, I step.”

She went over to Winston. He was sitting with Pudinsky, the fern leaves still in his hair. “You want to play real bullfight, yes?”

“I just thirst for it.”

“Wait. I get things. I come back.”

He showed her out, then came over to me. “Lovely girl.”

“Yeah, she’s all of that.”

“I’ve always said there were two nations under every flag, male and female. I wouldn’t give a damn for all the Mexican men that ever lived, but the women are marvelous. What saps their painters are, with all that beauty around them, to spend their days on war, socialism, and politics. Mexican art is nothing but a collection of New Masses covers.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

“Who would? But if they could paint her face, that would have been different. Goya could have, but those worthy radicals, no. Well — they don’t know what they miss.”

I went over, sat down and watched them dance. They were getting lit by now, and it was pretty raw. I wished I had fixed up some signal from the boys, so I would know when she was out. I hadn’t, so all I could do was sit there. I was going to wait till he missed her, then go down to the apartment to find her, then come back and say she didn’t feel well, and had gone to bed. It would all take time, give her a start, but I had to take the play from him.

I had looked at my watch when she went. It was seven after one. After a hell of a time I slipped back to a bathroom and looked again. It was eleven after. She had been gone four minutes: I came back and sat down again. Pudinsky stopped and they all yelled for more. He said he was tired. The buzzer rang. Winston opened, and I began thinking of a stall in case it was the detective. Who stepped in was Juana. She hadn’t changed her dress. Over her arm was the cape, in one hand was the espada , and in the other the ear.