Haruki Murakami - Kafka on the Shore

"I will."

"That was quick."

"Mr. Hoshino?" Nakata said.

"What?"

"There's going to be a lot of thunder soon. Let's wait for that."

"You're telling me the thunder's going to do something to help with the stone?"

"I don't know for sure, but I'm starting to get that feeling."

"Thunder, huh? Sounds kind of cool. Okay, we'll wait and see what happens."

When they got back to their room Hoshino flopped facedown on the futon and switched on the TV. Nothing was on except a bunch of variety shows targeted at housewives, but since there was no other way of killing time, he kept watching, giving a running critique of everything on the screen.

Nakata, meanwhile, sat in front of the stone, gazing at it, rubbing it, occasionally mumbling. Hoshino couldn't catch what he was saying. For all he knew the old man might actually be talking to the stone.

After a couple of hours, Hoshino ran out to a nearby convenience store and came back with a sack full of milk and sweet rolls the two of them had for lunch. While they were eating, the maid showed up to clean the room, but Hoshino told her not to bother, they were fine.

"You're not going out anywhere?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered. "We've got something to do here."

"Because there's going to be thunder," Nakata added.

"Thunder. I see…," the maid said dubiously before she left, looking like she'd rather not have anything more to do with this weird pair.

Around noon thunder rumbled dully off in the distance, and, as if waiting for a signal, it started sprinkling. Unimpressive thunder, a lazy dwarf trampling on a drum. Before long, though, the raindrops grew larger, and it was soon a regular downpour, wrapping the world in a wet, stuffy smell.

Once the thunder started, the two sat down across from each other, the stone between them, like Indians passing a peace pipe. Nakata was still mumbling to himself, rubbing the stone or his head. Hoshino puffed on a Marlboro and watched.

"Mr. Hoshino?" Nakata said.

"What's up?"

"Would you stay with me for a while?"

"Sure. I'm not going anywhere in this rain."

"There's a chance something strange might happen."

"Are you kidding me?" Hoshino began. "Everything's been strange enough already."

"Mr. Hoshino?"

"Yeah."

"All of a sudden I was wondering-what am I, anyway? What is Nakata?"

Hoshino pondered this. "That's a tough one. A little out of left field. I mean, I don't even know what I am, so I'm not the guy to ask. Thinking isn't exactly my thing, you know? But I know you're an okay, honest guy. You're out of kilter big-time, but you're somebody I trust. That's why I came with you all the way to Shikoku. I may not be so bright, either, but I do have an eye for people."

"Mr. Hoshino?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not just that I'm dumb. Nakata's empty inside. I finally understand that. Nakata's like a library without a single book. It wasn't always like that. I used to have books inside me. For a long time I couldn't remember, but now I can. I used to be normal, just like everybody else. But something happened and I ended up like a container with nothing inside."

"Yeah, but if you look at it like that we're all pretty much empty, don't you think? You eat, take a dump, do your crummy job for your lousy pay, and get laid occasionally, if you're lucky. What else is there? Still, you know, interesting things do happen in life-like with us now. I'm not sure why. My grandpa used to say that things never work out like you think they will, but that's what makes life interesting, and that makes sense. If the Chunichi Dragons won every single game, who'd ever watch baseball?"

"You liked your grandfather a lot, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. If it hadn't been for him I don't know what would've happened to me. He made me feel like I should try and make something of myself. He made me feel-I don't know-connected. That's why I quit the motorcycle gang and joined the Self-Defense Force. Before I knew it, I wasn't getting in trouble anymore."

"But you know, Mr. Hoshino, Nakata doesn't have anybody. Nothing. I'm not connected at all. I can't read. And my shadow's only half of what it should be."

"Everybody has their shortcomings."

"Mr. Hoshino?"

"Yeah?"

"If I'd been my normal self, I think I would've lived a very different kind of life. Like my two younger brothers. I would have gone to college, worked in a company, gotten married and had a family, driven a big car, played golf on my days off. But I wasn't normal, so that's why I'm the Nakata I am today. It's too late to do it over. I understand that. But still, even for a short time, I'd like to be a normal Nakata. Up until now there was never anything in particular I wanted to do. I always did what people told me as best I could. Maybe that just became a habit. But now I want to go back to being normal. I want to be a Nakata with his own ideas, his own meaning."

Hoshino sighed. "If that's what you want, then go for it. Not that I have a clue what a normal Nakata's like."

"Nakata doesn't either."

"I just hope it works out. I'll be praying for you-that you can be normal again."

"Before I get back to being normal, though, there are some things I have to take care of."

"Like what?"

"Like Johnnie Walker."

"Johnnie Walker?" Hoshino said. "Yeah, you mentioned that before. You mean the whisky guy?"

"Yes. I went to the police right away, and told them about him. I knew I had to report to the Governor, but they wouldn't listen. So I have to find a solution on my own. I have to take care of that before I can be a normal Nakata again. If that's possible."

"I don't really get it, but I guess you're saying you need this stone to do whatever it is you need to do."

"That's right. I have to get the other half of my shadow back."

By this time the thunder was deafening. Lightning zigzagged across the sky, followed, a moment later, by the roar of thunder. The air shook, and the loose windowpanes rattled nervously. Dark clouds capped the whole sky, and it got so dark inside they could barely make out each other's faces. They left the light off, however. They were still seated as before, with the stone between them. The rain was lashing down so hard it felt suffocating just to look at it. Each flash of lightning lit up the room for an instant. They didn't say anything for a while.

"Okay, but why do you have to have anything to do with this stone, Mr. Nakata?" Hoshino asked when the thunder had died down a bit. "Why does it have to be you?"

"Because I'm the one who's gone in and come out again."

"I don't follow you."

"I left here once, and came back again. It happened when Japan was in a big war. The lid came open, and I left here. By chance I came back. That's why I'm not normal, and my shadow's only half of what it was. But then I could talk with cats, though I can't do it well anymore. I can also make things fall from the sky."

"Like those leeches?"

"Yes."

"A pretty unique talent, that's for sure."

"That's right, not everybody can do it."

"And that's because you went out and came back again? I guess you really are pretty extraordinary."

"After I came back I wasn't normal anymore. I couldn't read. And I've never touched a woman."

"That's hard to believe."

"Mr. Hoshino?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared. As I told you, I'm completely empty. Do you know what it means to be completely empty?"

Hoshino shook his head. "I guess not."

"Being empty is like a vacant house. An unlocked, vacant house. Anybody can come in, anytime they want. That's what scares me the most. I can make things rain from the sky, but most of the time I don't have any idea what I'm going to make rain next. If it were ten thousand knives, or a huge bomb, or poison gas-I don't know what I'd do… I could say I'm sorry to everybody, but that wouldn't be enough."