Diana Peterfreund - Rites of Spring (Break)

“No,” Clarissa said. “When we stand, it’s with one another. And you would, too, if you’d been through what we have.”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Kadie said. “The rebel Diggers. Disavowing patriarchs right and left for every slight—whether real or imagined. You don’t even know what you’ve done, do you? At first, you had every patriarch in the country terrified that you’d repeat the process on them, but now they just don’t give a shit. You people don’t matter. You’re not playing the game, you’re not part of the team, and you’re missing out on the whole point of joining a society. Aren’t you supposed to be networking for the future? All you’re doing is burning bridges. In another month or so, you’ll have tapped a new class and then it will be you who are disavowed, from everyone.” She shook her head and looked us over. “Just a little friendly advice.” And then she was gone.

Afterward, we all sat there in silence for several long moments, and then George said, “Way to kick us when we’re down, bitch.”

Demetria snorted. “Can I go beat her up now ?”

A few chuckled, but Clarissa still looked worried. “Do you think what she’s saying is true? Maybe that’s why no one seemed to be particularly concerned when our cabin was broken into. Because they all hate us and don’t take us seriously.”

At least one patriarch took it seriously, though. Poe.

“I don’t care,” George said.

“Easy for you to say,” Kevin said. “Your dad is always going to be on your side.”

“And I’m always going to be on yours,” George said. “If getting patriarch support means kissing the asses of Frank Myer or Kurt Gehry, then I don’t need it. I never needed this society, and I can’t think of another person here who does, either. We’ve all got our jobs, we’ve all got our graduate schools. Fuck them.”

Clarissa looked down and let her long hair fall around her face.

“You’re right,” said Odile. “We don’t need it—not now anyway.”

“Not you anyway,” Clarissa muttered.

“But we’ve apparently gotten a reputation—and I don’t think it’s just among people like Gehry and Myer,” Odile went on.

I thought back. When was the last time I’d spoken to Gus, who’d given me my internship last summer? Had we really been neglecting patriarch relations—even the friendly ones? If only Josh weren’t in Spain. He’d have a much clearer picture of how things were actually going.

“Any way you cut it, though,” Harun said, “no one is to blame for what happened tonight. We weren’t being rude, and the Myers weren’t working against us.”

“Yeah,” Jenny said. “If you ask me, they were just looking for an excuse to leave. Maybe we made it easy on them, but it didn’t take much for them to blow up in our faces.”

“I think we’re all agreed on that much,” Clarissa said. And she didn’t add (though she didn’t have to) that it didn’t make Kadie’s accusations any less of a fact.

So what was Poe’s excuse? Yeah, he’d stuck his neck out and it hadn’t worked, but he wasn’t stupid enough to believe it was our fault. So why had we been on the receiving end of his attack? Why had I been on the receiving end?

“Let’s get out of here,” Odile said. “I totally need a shower after all that.”

“The sick or the lecture?” Clarissa asked.

“Both!”

“How are you all feeling?” I asked.

Ben shrugged. “Fine. I guess I got it out of my system.”

“I know the righteous anger burned all my nausea away,” Demetria said. “And, I reiterate, can I go kick her ass now?”

“I have no problem with that.” George pushed to his feet. “And I second the shower idea.”

Clarissa laughed. “Not together, bonehead.”

Though I didn’t exactly feel my freshest, I’d already used up my shower points for the day, and certainly didn’t need them as much as my fellow knights, so I let them commandeer the island’s meager water supply and walked with them back to the cabin, where they left me behind (after thorough toothbrushing all around) and I contemplated the logistics of a cold sponge bath.

I was just stripping down when there was a knock at the screen frame. I tossed on a fresh shirt and went to the door.

“Amy,” Poe said.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. “What do you want?”

“To talk. Let me in.”

I shook my head. “Don’t think so.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Are you all right? I can’t believe I didn’t ask you that before.”

“You’re not the only one.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“You shouldn’t have doubted us,” I prompted.

“I—” He sighed. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have. It was just…reflex.”

“Reflex!” I said, incredulous. “Reflex to attack my club?”

“Reflex to get screwed over by people I’d been trying to help.” He narrowed his eyes. “Remember last fall, when you topped off my horrible year by kicking me out of the tomb?”

I blinked, but my eyes started to burn. “Yes,” I said softly. “I do. And you repaid me by casting your lot with Elysion.”

“I wasn’t the only one.” But he’d been instrumental in getting that group founded. He’d been the one to tell them about the secret meeting spot inside the tomb. He’d been the one to lie to my face about it when I’d gone to him for help. And yet, I’d forgiven him. I’d forgiven all of them. The club was reunited.

Of course, Poe wasn’t in our club.

“Jamie, that’s water under the bridge by now.” Wasn’t it? He had to believe that.

He looked away. “All I know is that this isn’t the first time you’ve told patriarchs to go fuck themselves when they’re not convenient to you. So I’m sorry for jumping to that conclusion, but you should at least recognize why I did.”

I put my hand against the screen. “You’re not convenient to me, you know.”

He laughed, mirthlessly. “I know that. Believe me, Amy. It’s painfully evident how difficult it is to work me into your schedule.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He turned his gaze to mine. “That’s what I mean, though. Your friends can’t stand me. And you’d pick them in an instant.”

“I’m not picking anyone!” I said, though at that moment, all I could think of was Clarissa telling Kadie that our club stood on our own. “Or rather, I’m picking everyone.”

He looked at my hand on the screen, then back at me. “Yeah, right.”

The Diggirls would be back soon. I opened the screen door and stepped out onto the dark porch. “Let’s take a walk.”

Poe didn’t miss a beat. “Fine,” he said, in a voice that meant See? but still he followed me out into the darkness. We went to the edge of the forest behind the cabin and stood there, alone except for the sound of night insects and the scent of ocean breezes. “I told Malcolm,” he said abruptly.

My heart raced. I was tempted to ask Poe why he’d spilled the beans, but I knew the reason. Society oaths trumped all. And if he was confused, who better to go to than his favorite brother? “Oh?” was all I could trust myself to say.

“He says he never thought I’d be this stupid.”

The words were like a slap in the face. Why would my big sib say something like that about me? It was as bad as Lydia and Josh. “That’s not—”

“I think he’s wrong, for the record.”

“Oh?” I repeated, eloquent as a rock.

“I can definitely be this stupid.”

I looked at him, heart breaking. Malcolm was right. I never should have dragged Poe into this. Not if he liked me the way Malcolm believed he did. And from the past few days, I was starting to believe it, too. “This was supposed to be easy,” I whispered. “Like back on the beach that day.”