Diana Peterfreund - Rites of Spring (Break)

“One more thing than we usually do.”

“That doesn’t work for me,” I said. “I’ve spent the whole afternoon so confused.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling.”

“Well, you’re not helping. What was that thing in the tomb?”

“What thing?”

I rubbed my head. My hair was in mats. “You know. The plate thing.”

Recognition dawned on his shadowed face. “It was a joke.”

“You don’t make jokes.”

“You laughed. I wanted to make you laugh.” He gave a little self-mocking sigh, as if the very idea of going out of his way to amuse me baffled him as well. “I wanted to make you look at me. You’d been ignoring me all day.”

Ha! I almost shouted it. “That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Up against the wall, once again. And oh my Persephone, it was marvelous. But once again I pushed him away. You know, after a bit.

“We need to talk,” I insisted, one hand holding up my towel, the other warding him off.

“I object to that plan on several levels.”

“No. We need to talk about this.” I hesitated, took a deep breath. “Before it can continue.”

Now he looked interested. “What shall I tell you? That I spent the entire day thinking about the many ways I messed up out there on the beach? I mean, you threw yourself at me and I still fucked it up.”

“I did not throw myself at you,” I exclaimed, appalled. “Take that back.”

“Done.” He smiled down at me, pushed some hair out of my face, and then shocked me anew. “And then, this evening…it’s been one too many things happening to you recently.”

“This happened to all of the Diggirls.”

“Being called a slut or having your computer trashed is not the same as a death threat. And that’s what you got. A death threat. You, Amy. Not the rest of them. On top of yesterday, on top of this whole semester…”

“That was Dragon’s Head.”

“What if this is Dragon’s Head?”

“It’s not.”

“And you know that how?”

Because I trusted that Felicity would keep her word. She’d promised Brandon she’d stop. If he chose her. And he did, but it had nothing to do with me. He chose her because he loved her. He loved her, and he did not love me anymore. I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes before Poe could see them. He’d already seen me cry too much over another boy. “Do you really think they’d devote their last Spring Break to tormenting me?”

“Sounds like a pretty decent time to me. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing?”

I pursed my lips. “Define ‘torment.’”

He looked almost ready to grin at that one, but clearly wasn’t finished with the lecture. “Someone’s on this island, Amy, and you’re way too visible. To the patriarchs, to the conspiracy theorists, to Dragon’s Head. And yeah, you’re the one I worry about. I’m sure the others are lovely girls—except Jenny, who needs to be taken down a peg or two—but you’re the one…”

He didn’t finish that thought. Thank God.

“I can’t believe you’re taking this so lightly!” he said, changing tactics. “Are you that accustomed to prompting death threats that you take them all in stride?”

“I didn’t think of it as a death threat!” I cried. Until now, of course. “They just trashed our cabin. Nothing violent. You’re the one who keeps talking about violence. You’re the only person who is taking that spray paint seriously.”

“Yeah, and that’s also unlike you. Aren’t you the girl who came to me last year because of a trashed room?”

“No, I went to you because of a missing girl!”

“Well, I’m not going to wait for you to go missing.” Said with the utmost finality.

That made me pause for just a moment, but I regrouped. “There is no reason to think this was anything more than standard, senseless vandalism, no matter who’s responsible.”

Poe just stood there for a second, as if weighing his words. “There’s more. Stuff I didn’t say at the meeting.” He grabbed my hand. “I have to show you something.”

I pulled back. “Let me get dressed first.”

“Fine.” But he just stood there, arms crossed, dark hair falling into his eyes.

“Um, could you please turn around or something?”

A ghost of a smile. “Make me.”

I yanked the shower curtain shut between us.

Combed and dressed, but still damp, I let Poe lead me across the compound and down the path to the docks. Our journey was silent, but with none of the awkwardness that had marked our last walk together. Perhaps we stood more closely than usual, but otherwise, there was no sign of the heat that had so recently consumed us both.

When we reached the boats, I drew back. “This is as far as I go.”

“The boat won’t leave the dock. I wouldn’t even know how to do that. Get on.”

I groaned and followed him aboard the smaller boat. Poe picked up a flashlight from a box in the cabin and walked over to the railing. “Look at this.” He knelt and shined the flashlight at the railing. I saw a series of scratches in the paint around the hole that, until recently, had held the chain in place. The chain I’d broken through as soon as I fell against it.

“What am I looking at?”

“Someone stripped the joint.”

“It just wore thin.”

“No. You can tell by the markings. It was a screwdriver or something. I’ve built enough porches and trellises in my time to tell the difference. This thing was going to blow the second someone put weight on it.”

I made a face. “There’s no way that anyone could have known it was going to be me. It was just a coincidence that I was standing by this rail.”

“But you’re the only one who could have been really hurt if you did fall.”

“Anyone can get hurt falling off a boat.”

“You’re the only one who can’t swim.”

I stared at him and everything clicked into place. “Jamie—”

“And there’s more,” he said.

I crouched beside him and cupped my hand around his chin.

“I have to show you the life jacket. I—”

I shook my head and kissed him. “Stop.”

When I opened my eyes, his expression was confused.

“No one is after me. I promise. I know you feel guilty about scaring me at the initiation last spring. But stop beating yourself up about it. I’m fine. I’m not angry at you anymore.”

“This isn’t about last spring.”

“Yes it is. You’re the only person who spends any time at all thinking about my phobia. And it’s making you read into things.” I stood and brushed off my knees. “And that’s me telling you this. The Diggers’ resident conspiracy theorist…and pain in the ass. So you know it’s the truth.”

He swept to his feet and walked across the deck. I stood there, waiting, letting the night breeze blow around my face and cool my skin. Poe leaned against the far rail, staring out to sea and watching the play of starlight on the water. After a while, I walked across the deck and joined him. Minutes passed.

“I just kept thinking that if I hadn’t…done that to you…” he said at last. “That maybe you wouldn’t hate me.”

“That’s silly,” I said. “I hated you for much better reasons than that.”

“But not anymore?”

I looked down at our hands, beside one another on the rail, and twined mine in his. “Nope. Not anymore.”

“Because of yesterday?”

“Stop asking me that.” I squeezed his hand once, then let it go. “Ask the real question.”

He was silent for a long time. “Fine. What is this? ”

I shut my eyes tight against the sight of the water and the night, but I could hear the sea slapping against the side of the boat. I could hear Poe breathing, and over it all, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.