Lian Hearn - Heaven's Net Is Wide

It is going to be all right, she thought. I will not be afraid of him. I won’t hate him anymore. I must love him. I must desire him.

Night fell; the hours passed and Shigeru did not come. Finally she said to Chiyo, “He must have been delayed on the road.”

At that moment, from the adjoining room they heard Takeshi’s voice, greeting his mother.

Moe did not move for several moments. Then she picked up the wine flask and flung it across the room. It hit a painted screen and did not break but spilled the wine in one ugly splash across the deep pink flowers.

“He has gone to Akane,” she said.

AKANE, WHEN SHE realized Shigeru had come straight to her before even going to the castle, was jubilant. The sight of him, dusty and travel-stained, his smile when he greeted her, swept away most of her anxiety. She made a great fuss over him, pretending to be horrified at how dirty he was, scolding and teasing him, then going herself to the bathhouse to help the maid scrub his back. She washed every part of his body, thinking with anticipation of how she would feel him against her soon-but not too soon. She wanted to delay the moment, feeling her own skin tingle and her muscles soften with the languor of desire. It was a little over a year since the first time they had made love, when he had returned, like tonight, from the eastern borders. She ordered the same food to be prepared: cool, glutinous, juice-filled. Night fell and she called for the lamps to be lit, hardly taking her eyes off him as he ate and drank. He had changed from boy to man in that year. I changed him, she thought. I taught him how to be a man.

After they had retired and had satisfied their desire with passion, she lay against him. “Now you will stay in Hagi till spring,” she said contentedly.

“I will spend the winter here. But before that, I have another journey to make.”

“You are cruel!” Akane said, only half pretending. “Where are you going?”

“I will take Takeshi to Terayama. He can spend a year there. He wants to study the sword with Matsuda, and the discipline will be good for him.”

“He is very young-you were fifteen, were you not?”

“He turns fourteen in the new year. I have other reasons too. I think we will be at war next year. If my brother is at the temple, he will not be able to run away and fight.”

“He would do that,” Akane said. “Lord Takeshi is bolder than men twice his age.”

“He should learn to fight properly-and grow to his full stature.” Shigeru paused and then went on. “I am also escorting my wife to her parents’ house in Kushimoto. She has not yet made her formal visit home.”

“Your wife is traveling with you?” Akane felt the stab of jealousy, thinking of the days and nights they would spend together on the road.

“You know I must have children-so I must sleep with my wife. Travel, getting away from a place she obviously dislikes, may make her care more for me. I’m sorry if it makes you jealous, Akane, but you have to accept the situation.”

“I would give you children,” Akane said, unable to stop the words, though she knew it was foolish even to think them.

“You give me cause for jealousy too. Kiyoshige told me about Hayato,” Shigeru said. “They say you interceded with my uncle for his children’s lives.”

“I would have appealed to you, if you had been here. I hope it does not offend you.”

“I was surprised my uncle was swayed by you. It made me wonder what he had demanded in return.”

“Nothing,” she said hastily. “I believe he welcomed the chance to demonstrate his compassion. He was drunk when he had Hayato killed. In the morning he regretted his hastiness and wanted to make amends.”

“It does not sound like my uncle,” Shigeru said quietly. He moved away from her, rose, and began to dress.

“Will you not stay?” she said.

“No. I can’t tonight. I must see my parents in the morning, and my wife, and start making arrangements for the journey.”

“But I will see you before you go?” She heard the note of pleading in her own voice at the same time as disappointment and despair sprang into her heart. I am in such danger, she thought. I am falling in love with him. Immediately she feigned indifference. “But of course, you will be very busy. Very well, I will await your return.”

“I will come again tomorrow night,” he said.

After he had gone and the sound of the horses had died away, she lay listening to the sea and the wind in the pines, berating herself for her stupidity. She feared loving him, the pain it would cause her: she feared losing him, to his wife or in battle-why had he spoken of war?-or because of her pact with Masahiro.

He came as he had promised the following night and talked a little more about his journey, planning to leave the next day while the weather was still fine. She tried to hide her feelings and devote herself purely to pleasing him, but the meeting left her unusually restless and dissatisfied.

She was even more disturbed when, after Shigeru had left the city, a message came suggesting she should make one of her customary visits to Daishoin that afternoon. It was not signed, but she had no doubt who it was from. She could not decide whether to go or not: the day was hot and she was tired and dispirited, but the prospect of spending the entire day moping indoors did not appeal to her, either. In the end she ordered the palanquin and dressed with care.

The heat made the temple roofs shimmer; white doves sheltered under the deep eaves, and their cooing mingled with the insistent cheeping of sparrows and the drone of cicadas. Red autumn dragonflies danced above the cool water of the cistern in the front courtyard. Akane rinsed her hands and mouth and bowed before the entrance to the main hall of the temple. The dim interior seemed to be deserted, and she walked, followed by the maid she had brought with her, into the shade of the sacred grove around the shrine. Here it felt a little cooler: water trickled from a fountain into a series of pools where gold and red fish swam lazily.

A man squatted beneath the trees, watching the fish. She recognized Masahiro. He stood when Akane approached. He did not greet her or bother with any other courtesies.

“I was wondering if you had any news for me.”

“Only what Lord Otori must already know-your nephew has left to escort his wife home.”

“But was that the real purpose of his trip or does he have other intentions?”

“Takeshi is to go to Terayama.”

“Yes, and Hagi will be a much pleasanter place without him.”

“I am sorry. He did not tell me anything else.”

“I expect he had other things on his mind.” Masahiro let his gaze linger on her form. “And who can blame him?”

She felt a pang of fear at his lust; she had to invent something for him. She recalled a conversation from some time ago. “He is interested in the Seishuu families. Maybe he plans to meet someone from the Arai or Maruyama.”

“He said that?”

“I am sure I have heard him mention it.” She knew Shigeru had not told her this explicitly, but the news had had the desired effect on Masahiro and had distracted his attention from her.

“I suspected as much,” he muttered. “I must inform my brother.”

It’s not true, Akane thought as the palanquin carried her home, so it surely cannot do him harm.

The journey was leisurely, for they had several weeks of fine weather ahead of them, and since its purpose was ostensibly of a domestic and peaceful nature, they took every opportunity to stop at famous places and sites of beauty along the way, as well as making formal visits to various Otori vassals and retainers. Shigeru’s true purpose in traveling so slowly was to allow the messengers he had sent to reach Otori Eijiro and bring back his reply. He also had to allow time for Eijiro’s two oldest sons to ride to Kumamoto and Maruyama to arrange a meeting with representatives from the Arai family and the Maruyama.