Chris Evans - It’s Not What You Think and Memoirs of a Fruitcake 2-in-1 Collection

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in paperback by HarperCollins Publishers 2010

© Chris Evans 2009, 2010

Chris Evans asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

All photographs are courtesy of the author with the exception of the following: images 26, 29, 30, 31 and 32: © Big Pictures; image 46: © Virgin Radio; image 48: © Rankin

Cover images © Rankin

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers 2010

While every effort has been made to trace the owners of copyright material reproduced herein, the publishers would like to apologise for any omissions and will be pleased to incorporate missing acknowledgements in any future editions.

A catalogue record for this book is

available from the British Library

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

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Source ISBN: 9780007327232

Ebook Edition © October 2009 ISBN: 9780007327256

Version 2016-10-24

MEMOIRS OF A FRUITCAKE

HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2010

© Chris Evans 2010

Chris Evans asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

All photographs are courtesy of the author with the exception of the following: image 3: PHOTOGRAPH BY GARRETT BRENNAN/CPI, CAMERA PRESS LONDON; image 4: PHOTOGRAPH BY GARRETT BRENNAN/CPI, CAMERA PRESS LONDON; image 13: © Starstock/Photoshot; image 18: courtesy of Gordon MacGeachy; image 19: courtesy of Gordon MacGeachy; image 20: © Talking Sport/Photoshot; image 37: Jeff Moore/Jeff Moore/Empics Entertainment; image 39: Neale Haynes/Contour by Getty Images; images 41 and 42: © Jackie King; image 47: © Brian J. Ritchie/Rex Features; image 52: courtesy of the Radio Times; image 53: © The One Show; image 55: © Rankin

A catalogue record for this book is

available from the British Library

Cover photographs © Rankin

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers 2011

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at

www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

Source ISBN: 9780007345700

Ebook Edition © October 2010 ISBN: 9780007345724

Version 2016-10-24

HarperCollinsPublishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2014

© Chris Evans 2014

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers 2014

Chris Evans asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at

www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

Ebook Edition © March 2014 ISBN: 9780007577705

Version 2016-10-24

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

It’s Not What You Think

Memoirs of a Fruitcake

Coming up …

About the Publisher

To everyone that’s ever helped me, tolerated me, loved me, laughed with me, cried with me, created with me and forgiven me at any time, anywhere. Thank you.

Dear Reader,

For the purposes of bespoke compartmentalisation during the course of this book, where Dickens went for episodes, Shakespeare went for stanzas and the Good Lord himself for chapter and verse, being a DJ I have gone for Top 10s.

If it was good enough for Moses and his Commandments, it should be good enough for my book.

CE

Cover Page

Title Page

Dedication

Note to Reader

Preface

Prologue

Part One Mum, Dad and a Girl Called Tina

Top 10 Basic Facts about Christopher Evans

Top 10 Things I Remember about My Dad

Top 10 Best Things about Mrs Evans Senior

Top 10 Double Acts

Top 10 Resounding Memories of Primary-school Life

Top 10 Tastes, C. Evans, 1966-86

Top 10 First Memories of Going to School

Top 10 Weird Things about Teachers from a Kid’s Point of View

Top 10 Deaths

Top 10 Favourite Jobs (Other than Showbiz)

Top 10 Bosses I’ve Worked For

Top 10 Treats

Top 10 Girls—Actually Women—I Thought about Before I Had My First Girlfriend

Top 10 Schoolboy Errors

Top 10 Things I’m Rubbish at

Top 10 Things that Freak Me Out

Top 10 Things I Remember from School Lessons

Part Two The Piccadilly Years

Top 10 Best DJs I Have Ever Heard

Top 10 First Commercial Radio Stations in the UK

Top 10 Most Significant Cars in My Life

Top 10 Items of Technology in the Evans Household, circa 1983

Top 10 Things to Consider When Attempting to Make a Move in Your Career

Top 10 Things a Boss Should Never Do

Top 10 Things to Do When the Cards Are Stacked Against You

Top 10 Business Names I Have Been Involved in

Top 10 Dance Floor Fillers for Mobile DJ C. Evans circa 1985

Top 10 Memories of the great Piccadilly Radio exponential learning curve

Top 10 Things that Will Happen to You and that You Will Have to Accept

Top 10 Genuine Names of 80s Nightclubs in the North West of England

Top 10 Stars Recognised by a Single Name

Top 10 Records I remember from My Piccadilly Radio Days