Anchee Min - Pearl of China

Your mother may have already told you what happened to me. I was a few months pregnant when I walked out on my husband. I felt terrible carrying his seed. I thought about taking the Chinese herb medicine to abort the fetus. My mother died taking that herb and you can imagine how scared I was.

But about three weeks ago I began to bleed. I went to your mother for help.

Before I developed enough courage to tell her the truth, she figured it out. The blood wouldn’t stop. She knew that I must be miscarrying. She said that I could have died if I hadn’t come to her. All I could do was cry. She took me to the British Embassy doctor. I was unconscious when the doctor finished. I am fine today and that is the good news. The bad news is that I might not be able to have children in the future. This has made me sad beyond words.

I have been taking piano lessons from Carie. She was right that music could help me heal. It brings me closer to understanding God. I have wanted to learn piano ever since we were children. It’s truly a dream come true for me.

Carie has put me in charge of the elementary students. Did she tell you that our church school has expanded? We will soon have a middle school. Instead of three classes, we now have five. The school has become so popular that some locals have even signed up their daughters. You must remember how difficult it used to be to get peasant families to support their children’s education. This year, we had to deny a number of applicants due to lack of space. Papa addressed the problem to the governor of Jiangsu, who in turn promised a parcel of land to expand the school. Carpenter Chan will be the chief builder.

December 2, 1915

Dear Pearl,

You won’t believe this: I am writing you from Shanghai. This is what happened: My husband abducted me. As far as he was concerned, I was still his property. He didn’t tell me that he had sold me. Remember, I had wondered where he got his money to buy a new concubine?

Anyway, I ran away and hid in the church. My husband and his hired men chased me. They beat up Papa when he refused to tell them where I was hiding. Eventually, they found out. They broke into the church at night and took me. It was Carie who sent a message to Absalom. Without delay, Absalom appealed to the governor. He said that my abduction was a violation of the treaty law. The next day the governor ordered my husband to either free me or be arrested and beheaded!

I didn’t feel safe, because I suspected that my husband would look for another way to kidnap me. Papa saw suspicious men hanging around our house. Carie thought that it would be a good idea for me to leave Chin-kiang for a while. She made introductions for me at the Christian School for Women in Shanghai. I was offered a scholarship. All I can say is that I am truly blessed by God.

March 24, 1916

Dear Pearl,

Who would believe that the “ Paris of the East” is built on sand? The city’s old name even says it. “Shang-hai-tan,” meaning a sandbank at the mouth of our great Yangtze River. Emperor Guangxu considered it next to worthless, I’ve been told. His imperial opinion must have lessened the sting when he was forced to give it up to foreigners after losing the Second Opium War. What a lot the English, French, and Germans have done with that sandbank, my new home!

I shouldn’t be singing about Shanghai as if you knew nothing about it. I well know that you once lived here. In fact, I often picture you here, imagine where you may have gone, what places you liked best. But forgive me, I can’t help but share my feelings with you because I have no one else.

The Christian school is perfect for me. I have been taking as many classes as I can. The teachers have all been very helpful, sometimes even staying after class to answer my many questions. I never knew that there were so many books, so much to learn.

The students are nice, too. At first I was shy and awkward around them. I felt like such a country bumpkin. I didn’t even know that the Manchu dynasty had been overthrown! So many other things! But isn’t it wonderful that we no longer have an emperor, that China will soon become a republic!

My first weeks at the school now seem like a lifetime away. I feel more at home now and have begun to make some friends. Not like you, of course. But there are some brilliant people here and there is an electricity in the air. The most interesting people are the artists, writers, journalists, and musicians. They form a loose group that gathers at certain bars and restaurants in the city, talking and drinking and arguing for hours on end. I seem to be falling in with these people more and more. I find it exhilarating, so different from the life we knew together in Chin-kiang.

Dr. Sun Yat-sen is among us. He has been single-handedly leading the New Republicans to change China. He is a Christian and a Cantonese by origin. Before he became a revolutionary, he was a physician. He was educated in the West and studied political science. He went to Japan to study how the Mingji Reform has changed the country. In 1911, Dr. Sun returned to China and succeeded in stirring up a military uprising.

Pearl, as you can tell, my universe is expanding at the speed of light. If it wasn’t something I had promised Carie, I would have skipped Sunday church. My stomach is full, but my mind is hungry.

I miss your mother, and I’ll forever be in her debt. Two days ago I went to visit Grace to deliver your mother’s package. Your sister is turning into a fine young lady. She is sweet, but a little shy compared to you. Oh, how I wish you were here with me.

September 2, 1916

Dear Pearl,

It’s been six months since I last wrote you. Things have kept speeding up. I have been involved with the National Party of China. Most of our members are followers of Dr. Sun Yat-sen. Although I’ll always have faith in God, I find myself open to other ideas. I must now leave for a meeting and will continue to write when I return.

October 27, 1916

This letter is taking too long. My life is in fabulous chaos. I don’t know day from night anymore. China is undergoing a political transformation.

December 13, 1916

Pearl, I must share with you my sorrow, China ’s sorrow: Dr. Sun Yat-sen has been diagnosed with cancer. He is not expected to live. The man who will succeed him is Chiang Kai-shek. We are not sure if he is trustworthy. His record shows that he has been an opportunist. Unfortunately, there is no other candidate equal to him in military experience and connections. He has been the Commander-in-Chief of China and claims himself a disciple of Dr. Sun. The fact is that he is the only man who can control the warlords and who is committed to Dr. Sun’s cause.

January 28, 1917

Dear Pearl,

I must inform you about Carie’s condition. I am sure she has been hiding the truth from you. I visited her last month. It was lovely to be back in Chin-kiang, to see all the familiar faces. But I was taken aback when I called on your mother. She could no longer get out of bed. Apparently, her health took a turn for the worse when she went back to work at the school soon after I left for Shanghai. She told me she didn’t want you to return to China to help care for her. She worries about you constantly. Are you really planning to return?

Before I came back to Shanghai I accompanied Carie to the Deng Family Village, where she purchased a burial plot for herself. I have no idea why she picked that place. We didn’t speak of her reasons. I only sensed that she is so deeply disappointed in Absalom that she doesn’t care to be with him in death. But the place is beautiful and serene although remote. It broke my heart that she is quietly doing this. Am I betraying Carie by sharing this information with you? Carie can’t stand the thought that she might not be there to receive you when you return.