Fannie Flagg - Standing in the Rainbow

He always ran a temperature about three degrees higher than most people but tonight he was burning up.

"I tell you, Vita, that feeling, knowing all those people are listening to you and you can tell them anything, it scares the hell out of me how easily people are led." He looked at her, his eyes still glowing. "You know, sometimes I get so tired of having to fight Earl Finley and the rest of them for every little thing, running myself in the ground trying to push stuff through. I started asking myself why. Why was I doing it? What for? But tonight when I got up there in front of all those people, I knew that was the thing I'd been chasing after. He got up and paced the room.

"I wish I could describe what it feels like to have thousands of people listening to your every word, how easy it is to please them, to get that applause and to hear them out there screaming for you. It's like being in control of one big ocean and you can calm it down or make it roar. God, Vita, it's not even people anymore, it's one big thing you want to control and once you've had a taste of it, you're hooked. It's like if you don't have it you will die, do you know what I mean?

"Somebody's handed you the baton and you can lead this rich, powerful orchestra. Does that make sense to you? I mean after that, leading a five-piece band means nothing, not after you've led that orchestra, thousands of people all playing the song just like you want them to."

Vita smiled at him and he stopped. "I've had too much to drink, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You don't ever have to hold back or be afraid to tell me anything, don't you know that? The more you tell me, the more I understand you. I love you, I'm on your side remember that."

He sat down. "You must think I'm an idiot but I can't talk to the boys; hell, they wouldn't understand. You're the only person I can trust. Betty Raye's not interested in politics the whole thing scares her. Oh, she tries but all she ever really wanted was a quiet, simple life and look what I drug her into. I try to leave her out of it as much as I can. She was put on display as a kid and she just hates it, me being governor. But God help me, Vita. I love it."

On the other hand, Betty Raye was counting the days when they would be out of the governor's mansion at last and into a real home they did not have to share with a hundred people. As per Hamm's instructions, Rodney had driven her past a brand-new red-brick house in a nice subdivision outside of town. And later when she walked into the governor's office Hamm did not look up but said, "Well, is that what you had in mind?"

"Oh Hamm, it's more than I could have ever hoped for." Having been a used-car salesman, Rodney was able to figure out how to make deals in different ways and made an under-the-table, verbal agreement with a real estate agent to hold the house until Hamm left office.

Betty Raye would not miss being first lady but she would miss a few of the staff Cecil, of course, and over the years she had grown quite fond of Alberta Peets, the ice-pick murderess, who besides cooking had helped her with the boys and was a great baby-sitter. When she said for them to go to bed, they did. They minded her much better than they ever had their mother or father.

But other than that she could hardly wait to pack up and get out of the governor's mansion for good.

Hamm tried to resign himself to the fact that he was going out of office but as the May primaries grew closer and closer, the more anxious and restless he became. While Betty Raye and Cecil shopped for furniture and dishes and silverware for the new house, Hamm complained and bellyached to anyone who would listen about the fact that a governor could not succeed himself for a third consecutive term. He even ranted and raved to a group of unsuspecting visiting Girl Scout leaders from Joplin.

"If I hadn't had to fight Earl Finley and the damn Republicans I might have done it but two terms is not enough time to get anything nailed down. I need at least four more years to finish what I started and now Earl is gonna bring in that idiot Carnie Boofer and wreck it all…"

Betty Raye and Cecil were busy looking for rugs and drapes to match, but as the days went by Hamm became more irritable and could not sleep.

The guys tried to cheer him up. Nothing seemed to work. Finally, one day Rodney said, "You need to get out of here for a while." So Wendell, Rodney, and Seymour drove him down to the secret boathouse and took The Betty Raye out for a cruise. Usually the boat was where he loosened up and forgot about everything and enjoyed himself but not today. He did nothing but sit and stare at the water and try to think of what he could do. He turned to Wendell, who had his feet propped up on the side, drinking beer. "If we were to call the legislature into special session, what do you think our chances are of getting an amendment added to the constitution?"

Wendell knew what he was up to. "Hamm, there's no way in hell they are going to let you succeed yourself; it's a state law."

"But laws have been changed, haven't they?"

"Yeah, but you ain't gonna change this one. The Republicans won't vote for it and Earl is determined to bring in Carnie Boofer, so why don't you just relax and take it easy for the next four years. Then all you have to do is come back in and clean up the mess old Boofer makes. In the meantime, just sit on your boat, take a few trips, and enjoy yourself, boy."

Hamm had been offered jobs through Vita's friends but nothing that excited him. The next time he was at her apartment they sat on the couch and he tried to tell her what he was feeling. "It's not that I don't appreciate the offers, Vita, I do. I don't know how I'll be able to stand just being a nobody again. I'm gonna miss being out of that limelight now that I'm used to it."

"But, darling, you can run again in sixty-eight… it's only four years."

He looked at her almost desperately. "Vita, I don't think I can wait that long. I don't know how to explain it but it seems like I've been freezing all my life and it's the only place I feel warm, really warm.

The thing is, once it gets a hold of you, you can't let go even if you wanted to. It's too late. Once you've been up there, there's nowhere else to go but down. That's where you live, the only place you feel alive, and you've got to fight to hold on. And what if I can't get back in? What if Carnie Boofer messes up so bad that the next time they elect a Republican? People forget about you once you're out of power. The truth is, Vita… I'm scared to let go."

Hamm was back in Jefferson City, sitting in his office having a few drinks with the guys, when Hamm Jr. ran in and asked for more quarters to put in the pinball machine in the basement and ran back out. When he left Hamm asked Wendell, "What's the age limit on running for governor?"

"Why?"

"If Hamm Junior was old enough, I'd run him."

Wendell grinned. "Damn, boy, next you'll be trying to run your wife."

Seymour Gravel said, "Yeah, Hamm, or how about your dog. He's pretty smart, a hell of a lot smarter than Carnie Boofer."

"But then who ain't?" Rodney added.

They all laughed except Hamm, who sat with a glazed expression, staring into space. Then he looked at Wendell. "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Run my wife."

"Oh, hell, Hamm, I was just kidding."

"Is there a law against it?"

"No, but you can't do that."

"Why not? Tell me one good reason. It would be almost the same as voting for me, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, but nobody is gonna vote for a woman even if she is your wife."

"Why not?"

Now Seymour asked Wendell: "Yeah, why not?"

An hour later, after going back and forth in a heated debate over why not, Hamm said, "Excuse me a minute, will you, boys?" and went in the other room to make a call.