David Wong - John Dies at the End

“What?” I barked. “What is it now?”

John was staring at Molly like she was the fluffy devil incarnate.

“John?”

“Uh… nothing. When did the dog find you?”

“You know this dog? It’s been following me around like a lost, uh, dog.”

“I dunno. It doesn’t matter. Let’s go, before… something else follows us.” He glanced up at the apartment building.

I ducked into the car but didn’t start it.

John glanced up at the building once more, said, “Just tell me you could see it. At least that.”

“I didn’t see it. Tell me what this is.”

I held up the syringe. John rubbed his eyes, a man exhausted.

“You don’t wanna touch that. What time is it?”

“Just past five in the morning.”

“What day?”

“Friday night. I mean, Saturday morning. It feels like Friday night because I’ve barely slept yet. And we got work today, remember?”

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

“You called me. You begged me.”

John leaned back, closed his eyes. For a second I thought he had dozed off. Finally, he mumbled: “I did? When?”

“Tell me what this stuff is, John. They’re gonna ask me, first thing. Tell me before you fall asleep.”

“I remember now. Calling you. It’s hard, everything’s running together. I called and called and called. Like a shotgun, firing in every direction hoping to hit somethin’. I bet I called you twenty times.”

“Twice. You called me twice. John, answer my question.”

“Really? You kept getting weird on me. You know what I think? I think you’ll be getting calls from me for the next eight or nine years. All from tonight. I couldn’t help it, couldn’t get oriented. Kept slipping out of the time… you’ve got a voice mail message three years from now that’s freaking hilarious.”

I jammed the syringe back into my pocket and started the car. John reached over, grabbed my wrist. His eyes were open and alarmed.

“Wait. Where are we gonna go? Where are we gonna be safe from this thing?”

“Emergency room, John. I’m not playing this game with you. I don’t know what else to do and I don’t know how we’re gonna pay for it. You’re on a bad trip, or whatever they call it. Maybe it’s a big deal, maybe it’s not. Maybe you can just sleep shit like this off. I don’t know because I’m not a junkie and I’m not a doctor.”

“No. The hospital’s no good. We’ll go to your place, or somewhere. Anywhere but here.”

I can’t make myself recount the rest of this conversation. I’m too ashamed of it. The long and the short of it is that I let John talk me out of taking him to get treatment, that I worried more about him liking me than about whether he lived or died, that on that night, at that moment, I was the lowest, most selfish, worthless coward who ever lived.

So where was there to go? We were both scared for different reasons. He needed safety and I needed some kind of familiar comfort.

I’m not sure how we decided on Denny’s but that’s where we wound up. Well-lit, familiar, full of people. We sat in a booth and downed cup after cup of coffee in silence, John smoking his cigarettes and sneaking furtive glances out the window, me counting the seconds that passed without any psychotic ravings. I convinced myself with every passing peaceful moment that things were getting better, that the worst was over. In that, I was pants-shittingly wrong.

“Well?” I asked. “How are you doin’? Any better?”

“I saw things. Tonight. Both before and after I…” He trailed off, sucked on his cigarette instead.

“Okay,” I said. “Back up. You don’t know the name of the drug?”

“Robert called it ‘soy sauce.’ But I’m thinking now that was just a nickname and that it wasn’t, you know, actual soy sauce.”

Robert? Oh, of course. Robert, the Fake Magical Jamaican from the party. I would be finding Robert, I decided. I would be having a word with him.

“Robert?” I asked. “What’s his last name?”

“Marley.”

Of course.

“That’s the only name he gave you?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to pry.”

“And he gave you the-”

My cell phone chirped. I ignored it. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? Tina, crying, wanting to get back together a sixth time because she’s at home and lonely? Jennifer Lopez, deciding she was wrong to have brushed me off at the party and wanting to play a game of Hide the Cocktail Wiener?

“Yes. He did,” answered John. “We were drunk, in the One Ball parking lot, after close. We were passing around a joint; Head and Nate Wilkes crushed up some kind of pills between spoons and snorted it. There was… other stuff. Anyway. We drank some more.”

Beepbeepbeep BEEP, BEEP…

“And then the Jamaican guy pulls out the sauce. ‘It be openin’ doors to other worlds, mon,’ he says. We made him do it first, saw that he didn’t die. It seemed to make him pretty happy and then-Dave, the guy-I know I didn’t really see this-but the guy shrunk himself, made himself three feet tall. We all laughed our asses off, then he was back to normal again.”

“And you still tried that shit?”

“Are you kidding? How could I not?”

The phone sang its electronic ditty again.

“Did anybody else do it?”

“Are you gonna get that?”

“You avoid my question one more time and I will come over this table and punch you in the face. Look into my eyes. You know I mean it. I’m tired of your-”

“It’s not that easy, Dave. Everything’s mixed up, like if somebody made you watch ten movies at once and then made you write an essay on ’em. That stuff… Dave, I’m remembering things that haven’t happened ye-I mean, that didn’t happen. Even right now, all that stuff from Vegas. Did we go to Las Vegas? You and me?”

The phone chirped a third time. Or fourth, I lost count.

“No, John. We’ve never been in our lives, either one of us. Are you the only one who took the sauce?”

“I don’t know, that’s what I’m tryin’ to say. We went to Robert’s place, but Head and the guys didn’t come. I think they got nervous when they saw a needle come out. There were some kids around, the party kind of landed there, at Robert’s trailer. Now please, please, please get your phone or turn it off. That damned song you got in there is driving me up a wall.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You took something that scared Head ? The guy who did the stuff that killed River Phoenix just to prove he was the better man?”

“Dave…”

“All right, all right.”

I pulled out the phone, flipped it open, slapped it to my head.

“Yeah.”

“David? It’s me.”

Ah, that feeling again. That chill of unreality, my belly full of coffee turning to liquid nitrogen.

The voice was John’s.

No question about it. The man who was sitting across from me, smoking quietly without a phone anywhere near his head, had called me.

I glanced at John, said into the phone, “Is this a recording?”

“What? No. I don’t know if we’ve talked tonight, but we don’t have much time. I think I called you and told you to come here. If so, don’t do it. If I haven’t called, then obviously you should still stay away regardless. Now, I need you to go to Las Vegas. There’s a guy there-”

“Who is this?”

John, in the booth there with me, gave me a look. On the phone: “It’s John. Can you hear me?”

“I can hear you and I can see you,” I said, a tremble in my voice. “You’re sitting right here next to me.”

“Well, just talk to me in person, then. Oh, wait. Do I look like I’m injured in any way?”

“What?”

“Fuck! Someone’s at the door.”