Sara Foster - Come Back to Me

He looked momentarily hurt at this, but nodded, went back to his chair, picked up his bag, and slung it over his shoulder. Then he came across to her again, and brushed his palm against her cheek, their eyes drinking one another in.

‘You’ll be okay?’ he asked in the same wracked voice.

‘I will.’

‘I think you will, too,’ he agreed, nodding, looking at her with such intensity that she had trouble holding his gaze.

He began to walk backwards a few steps, still watching her. She held her breath as she registered his every movement, praying for him either to come back or turn around. His last look was so passionate and lingering that she wondered if he were about to change his mind, but then he turned quickly and almost jogged away.

She sat down and stared at Alex’s half-drunk cup of coffee, the only sign now that he had been there. She had thought she would collapse at this point. But she didn’t. Her body felt surprisingly light.

She picked up her own bag, turned away from the table, and set off in the opposite direction.

She knew exactly where she was going next.

As soon as Alex was away from the airport concourse, he took out his mobile phone and speed-dialled the familiar number. He was relieved when the call was answered, but that quickly turned to alarm when he registered the voice that had just said hello.

‘Margaret?’ he began, his concern increasing by the second, knowing that her visits to the south were extremely rare. ‘What are you doing there? Where’s Chloe?’

‘Chloe hasn’t been well,’ she replied curtly. ‘I’ve been looking after her.’

‘Well… thank you,’ Alex said, embarrassed. ‘What’s happened? Is she okay?’

‘What do you think has happened, Alex?’ Margaret answered, then continued snootily, ‘Do you want something?’

There was no point, Alex thought, in letting his hackles rise at her tone, for her anger was completely justified. She had been looking after Chloe when that was his job.

‘Can you tell Chloe I called? Please ask her to call me on my mobile.’

‘Okay,’ she said, as if she were going to hang up, before he cut in.

‘Margaret, please tell her… tell her I love her.’

‘I’ll pass the message on, Alex,’ she replied neutrally, and then the line went dead.

After checking into a hotel, Alex spent two days trying to steer around Margaret before Chloe came on the phone, and it was another twenty-four hours before she agreed to see him. In one way he found it agony, having her so close and yet being so far apart, but it was also a relief to be able to focus all his energy on putting this right. Why, at the start of all this, had he shut out the person who had brought him back to life; who, since they’d met, he had never doubted was the future he wanted?

They arranged to meet at a café not too far from home, but far enough that they were unlikely to bump into their neighbours. Alex was there three-quarters of an hour early, and soon realised that it was a mistake to sit and wait for so long, as his nervousness quadrupled every minute that went by.

Then Chloe arrived. She looked thin, and tired, and beautiful. They stared at each other, Alex trying to transmit all his apologies and love to her; while she looked like she wasn’t sure whether to leave or sit down.

When she finally pulled out a chair, she said in a monotone, ‘So, you’re back.’

His heart sank. Her voice had no relief in it; the tone was more like resignation.

He nodded. ‘It’s over.’

She picked up a menu. ‘Great,’ she said as she looked at the food on offer, nonplussed.

He took a deep breath. Although he’d had a wild daydream that she might fall into his arms, he was sadly aware that this cold reception was no more than he deserved.

‘Have you been ill?’ he asked.

‘Just a bit under the weather,’ she replied, waving her hand as though to dismiss his concern, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

‘Chloe,’ he said, touching her arm to try to get her to look at him. ‘I’m so sorry about everything I’ve put you through. I really am.’

Her eyes locked with his, and they were angry. ‘It’s too late, Alex. You should have explained yourself from the start – if not years ago.’

Upon hearing her say those three little words – it’s too late – he felt more wretched than he ever had in his life. He bowed his head and quickly wiped his eyes.

‘So why didn’t you tell me any of this at the beginning?’ she asked, her voice softening slightly.

‘I should have. But one of the biggest regrets of my life is that I abandoned Amy when she needed me most. I was too ashamed to tell you. And when she turned up, I felt she needed me again; and that this time I owed it to her to put things right. And it meant a lot to me, too, to see those men get caught. I thought I’d laid it to rest, but once Amy came back and we found out about the trial, it was like it had never gone away. I needed to see them convicted almost as much as Amy did, I think.’

‘But I’m your wife, Alex. I needed you too.’

‘Yes. I’m sorry.’

‘You know one of the things that hurts the most?’ Chloe said. ‘What makes you think that if you’d told me everything to begin with, I wouldn’t have understood? Why did you think that the only way through this was shutting me out, treating me like I was invisible, as though I couldn’t help you at all?’

He was dumbstruck. She was right. And he was just beginning to understand how big a fool he had been.

‘… Unless you still love her?’ she finished, still watching him closely. ‘And this trip, for you, has been about making a choice?’

He paused. The moment was pivotal, he knew; the answer critical. How could he be sure of getting it right?

He couldn’t, he realised. So he went for honesty, fervently hoping that this would fill rather than deepen the rift between them. He started from the beginning, explaining everything to her: the events that had taken place; the choices he had made; and the reasons behind them.

Chloe listened to it all, nodding now and again, emotions passing over her face like heavy clouds, intermittently closing down her features before they opened again a little as Alex continued.

She took her time when he had finished, letting everything he’d told her sink in.

‘Was I ever a replacement?’ she asked finally.

‘Never.’ He looked into her eyes, unflinching as she held his gaze.

‘When we met… at the station… you thought I was her…’

‘Yes,’ he agreed. ‘I thought you were Amy at first. Until you lifted your head. And then I saw you . And, Chloe, I haven’t stopped seeing you since, not for a second. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Amy was my first love. She and I were caught up in a disaster; and it didn’t work out for us. But you are the love of my life. You are my future. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you right at the beginning what was going on. It was selfish – I was worried that if I told you what happened back then, the mistakes I made, then you would see me differently, and I would see myself differently too – and I love our life, I love us .’

‘This is… a lot to take in…’ Chloe said eventually. ‘But I’m sorry about what happened back then – to both of you – I just wish you hadn’t shut me out.’

‘I’m hoping you can forgive me for that,’ he told her, ‘and giving you a promise, here and now, that it won’t ever happen again.’

Chloe nodded. Smiled at him for a moment, then seemed to think better of it. But still, there was a light in her eyes, a fire and energy that Alex wasn’t sure he had seen before. Just having her in front of him and not being able to hold her was torture.