These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God’s, that the self-righteous should rush.
Once an oaf chased me away from the Great Mosque. When I went to church the priest glared at me so that I could not feel the peace of Christ. A Brahmin sometimes shooed me away from darshan. My religious doings were reported to my parents in the hushed, urgent tones of treason revealed.
As if this small-mindedness did God any good.
To me, religion is about our dignity, not our depravity.
I stopped attending Mass at Our Lady of Immaculate Conception and went instead to Our Lady of Angels. I no longer lingered after Friday prayer among my brethren. I went to temple at crowded times when the Brahmins were too distracted to come between God and me.
A few days after the meeting on the esplanade, I took my courage into my hands and went to see Father at his office.
“Father?”
“Yes, Piscine.”
“I would like to be baptized and I would like a prayer rug.”
My words intruded slowly. He looked up from his papers after some seconds.
“A what? What?”
“I would like to pray outside without getting my pants dirty. And I’m attending a Christian school without having received the proper baptism of Christ.”
“Why do you want to pray outside? In fact, why do you want to pray at all?”
“Because I love God.”
“Aha.” He seemed taken aback by my answer, nearly embarrassed by it. There was a pause. I thought he was going to offer me ice cream again. “Well, Petit Séminaire is Christian only in name. There are many Hindu boys there who aren’t Christians. You’ll get just as good an education without being baptized. Praying to Allah won’t make any difference, either.”
“But I want to pray to Allah. I want to be a Christian.”
“You can’t be both. You must be either one or the other.”
“Why can’t I be both?”
“They’re separate religions! They have nothing in common.”
“That’s not what they say! They both claim Abraham as theirs. Muslims say the God of the Hebrews and Christians is the same as the God of the Muslims. They recognize David, Moses and Jesus as prophets.”
“What does this have to do with us, Piscine? We’re Indians! ”
“There have been Christians and Muslims in India for centuries! Some people say Jesus is buried in Kashmir.”
He said nothing, only looked at me, his brow furrowed. Suddenly business called.
“Talk to Mother about it.”
She was reading.
“Mother?”
“Yes, darling.”
“I would like to be baptized and I would like a prayer rug.”
“Talk to Father about it.”
“I did. He told me to talk to you about it.”
“Did he?” She laid her book down. She looked out in the direction of the zoo. At that moment I’m sure Father felt a blow of chill air against the back of his neck. She turned to the bookshelf. “I have a book here that you’ll like.” She already had her arm out, reaching for a volume. It was Robert Louis Stevenson. This was her usual tactic.
“I’ve already read that, Mother. Three times.”
“Oh.” Her arm hovered to the left.
“The same with Conan Doyle,” I said.
Her arm swung to the right. “R. K. Narayan? You can’t possibly have read all of Narayan?”
“These matters are important to me, Mother.”
“ Robinson Crusoe! ”
“Mother!”
“But Piscine!” she said. She settled back into her chair, a path-of-least-resistance look on her face, which meant I had to put up a stiff fight in precisely the right spots. She adjusted a cushion. “Father and I find your religious zeal a bit of a mystery.”
“It is a Mystery.”
“Hmmm. I don’t mean it that way. Listen, my darling, if you’re going to be religious, you must be either a Hindu, a Christian or a Muslim. You heard what they said on the esplanade.”
“I don’t see why I can’t be all three. Mamaji has two passports. He’s Indian and French. Why can’t I be a Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim?”
“That’s different. France and India are nations on earth.”
“How many nations are there in the sky?”
She thought for a second. “One. That’s the point. One nation, one passport.”
“One nation in the sky?”
“Yes. Or none. There’s that option too, you know. These are terribly old-fashioned things you’ve taken to.”
“If there’s only one nation in the sky, shouldn’t all passports be valid for it?”
A cloud of uncertainty came over her face.
“Bapu Gandhi said—”
“Yes, I know what Bapu Gandhi said.” She brought a hand to her forehead. She had a weary look, Mother did. “Good grief,” she said.
Later that evening I overheard my parents speaking.
“You said yes?” said Father.
“I believe he asked you too. You referred him to me,” replied Mother.
“Did I?”
“You did.”
“I had a very busy day …”
“You’re not busy now. You’re quite comfortably unemployed by the looks of it. If you want to march into his room and pull the prayer rug from under his feet and discuss the question of Christian baptism with him, please go ahead. I won’t object.”
“No, no.” I could tell from his voice that Father was settling deeper into his chair. There was a pause.
“He seems to be attracting religions the way a dog attracts fleas,” he pursued. “I don’t understand it. We’re a modern Indian family; we live in a modern way; India is on the cusp of becoming a truly modern and advanced nation—and here we’ve produced a son who thinks he’s the reincarnation of Sri Ramakrishna.”
“If Mrs. Gandhi is what being modern and advanced is about, I’m not sure I like it,” Mother said.
“Mrs. Gandhi will pass! Progress is unstoppable. It is a drumbeat to which we must all march. Technology helps and good ideas spread—these are two laws of nature. If you don’t let technology help you, if you resist good ideas, you condemn yourself to dinosaurhood! I am utterly convinced of this. Mrs. Gandhi and her foolishness will pass. The New India will come.”
(Indeed she would pass. And the New India, or one family of it, would decide to move to Canada.)
Father went on: “Did you hear when he said, ‘Bapu Gandhi said, “All religions are true”’?”
“Yes.”
“ Bapu Gandhi? The boy is getting to be on affectionate terms with Gandhi? After Daddy Gandhi, what next? Uncle Jesus? And what’s this nonsense—has he really become a Muslim ?”
“It seems so.”
“A Muslim! A devout Hindu, all right, I can understand. A Christian in addition, it’s getting to be a bit strange, but I can stretch my mind. The Christians have been here for a long time—Saint Thomas, Saint Francis Xavier, the missionaries and so on. We owe them good schools.”
“Yes.”
“So all that I can sort of accept. But Muslim ? It’s totally foreign to our tradition. They’re outsiders.”
“They’ve been here a very long time too. They’re a hundred times more numerous than the Christians.”
“That makes no difference. They’re outsiders.”
“Perhaps Piscine is marching to a different drumbeat of progress.”
“You’re defending the boy? You don’t mind it that he’s fancying himself a Muslim?”
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