K. Randis - Spilled Milk

“No, you’re not.”

I stared at him. “I’m not what?”

“My girlfriend.”

He threw his book bag over his shoulder and rushed out the bedroom door.

“What?” I followed him.

“Go away.”

“What? No, I won’t go away.”

I followed him into the driveway just as a car pulled up and honked. A guy I didn’t recognize stuck his hand out the window and motioned for Paul to get in.

“Paul, wait.” Panic rose in my chest.

“Brooke, I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore.” He turned towards the car.

“Wait, Paul, don’t.” I reached out and grabbed his elbow. “Can we talk?”

“No, we can’t. And if you don’t stop following me, I’ll never talk to you again. I need time.”

“How much time?” I couldn’t control the pitch in my voice.

“It’s not up to you! Weeks, months, years, whatever it takes. I’m not doing this anymore. Have fun playing mommy, or housewife, whatever it is you do. See ya later.”

The car sped off and I could hear the music thumping until they drove past where I worked. I stood in the driveway with my hand on the bridge of my nose. Everything happened so fast I wasn’t sure how to feel. As I stood there thinking about the phone call I just made, Paul walking out of my life, Ethan at home alone- It was too much. My body sank to the ground and I wrapped my arms around my knees, trying to figure out what I had done that made God hate me so much.

Paul ignored every phone call I made over the next few days. He never came to my locker, and when I finally saw him in the hallway I asked him to meet me after third period. “Please,” I said, “I just need to see you for a minute.”

I couldn’t concentrate on the Spanish vocabulary I was supposed to be writing down in my notebook. I hardly noticed when a student walked in halfway through the period and Mr. Caruzo had to say my name twice before I noticed he was motioning to me. “Brooke, you’re needed in the front office.”

The front office was narrow and blue and I slumped into a seat as I waited. I checked the clock and as I looked up Adam came walking through the front office doors. My heart skipped. “Adam? What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know. I was just about to get on the bus for a field trip though. They said they’d only hold it for ten minutes. Don’t wanna miss it.”

Principal Hemlorn poked his head through one office door. “Adam, Brooke? Can you guys follow me?” Light reflected off his bald head and his smile was warm.

We followed him a few feet before stopping in front of a door. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you guys. Might take a little time, half hour maybe.” He checked his watch. “Just see the receptionist when you’re done, she’ll give you a pass.”

“Principal Hemlorn I have a field trip.” Adam pointed toward the door. “Can this wait? I already paid and everything.”

He licked his lips. “I suppose that’s fine. I’ll let them know you already got on the bus. Brooke, you go ahead in.”

Them? What is going on…

Adam turned to catch his bus and the Principal put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s all right, go ahead inside Brooke.”

The light was dim and my eyes had to adjust but when they did I was staring at two police officers and a lady in a business suit.

“Mrs. Shafer, this is Brooke Nolan. Her brother already left on a field trip, so you might have to catch up with him later.”

“Thank you Mr. Hemlorn. Brooke, would you like to take a seat?”

The door closed behind me. “My name is Elise, sweetheart, I’m from Children and Youth Services. Is it okay if we talk for a few minutes?”

I stared at the bulky police officers standing in the corner of the room. Their arms crossed in front of their chests and I could hear their uniforms squeak around all the items they had in their belts. “What did I do?”

“Oh, nothing dear. It’s okay, you’re not in trouble. Don’t mind these guys.” She waved to the officers behind her. “They’re just here as a witness to what you and I talk about, they won’t bother us any. You can call me Elise all right?”

I took a seat as I noticed the expensive suit Elise had on. She had a pink collared shirt on underneath and she whisked her bangs away from her face. She couldn’t have been older than thirty, but there was something old about her face. Maybe she had been doing this job a long time.

“I’m from Children and Youth Services, do you know what that is?”

I shook my head and traced the outlines of her face. She wore a lot of makeup, but I decided she was pretty. She looked concerned.

“We protect children from bad situations. Sometimes children need someone to stand up for them when they’re being hurt, or something bad happens to them, so that’s my job.”

She had huge green eyes and I twisted my hands in my lap. Social services sure did respond to anonymous phone calls in a timely manner.

“I’m here because my office got a few phone calls about your family. About some things that go on in your house.”

A few phone calls? I only called once.

“So I was hoping we could talk? I have a few questions I was hoping you could help me out with.”

I remained silent. My body started to tremble as the reality of what was happening began to set in.

“Now we don’t know who made these phone calls. But we do know that one came from the middle school and elementary schools about your brother, Thomas right? A teacher there saw some bruises on him and called last week. Then we got another call about there not being food in the house, about the children there being hit and yelled at, and some other things.”

I knew what she was talking about because I had made that phone call. “So tell me, Brooke, what are your parent’s like. Do any of these things sound true?”

Elise wanted me to trust her, I knew, but I was terrified. The police officers stared at me, waiting for a response. I knew that calling social services would lead to this, I just didn’t realize it would be so soon.

“Brooke, I want you to know that anything we talk about here today stays between us. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything that goes on in your home. You won’t get in trouble, okay?”

“We sometimes don’t have food,” I started. My hands twisted around my shirt. “My dad yells, a lot, and he hits my brothers.” Elise picked up her pen and started writing. “We’re all afraid of him. I don’t like him.”

Elise nodded. “You’re doing great honey, keep going. What kinds of things does he yell about, where does he hit your brothers?”

“On their backs, their stomachs, sometimes their face. Sometimes he uses a belt. Or he’ll throw things. He yells about everything. When we’re too loud, if we leave a cabinet door open, if we don’t do whatever he wants.”

Elise put down her pen and looked at me. “What kinds of things does he want Brooke?”

Her voice was comforting, reassuring. I couldn’t shake the stares from the police officers though, their eyes bore into me. I was on display.

“Brooke we got a call that your dad was touching you, inappropriately. Do you know what that means?”

I shook my head. This was all happening so fast.

“Has your dad ever touched you in your private parts? Has he ever made you do something to him that you didn’t want to do?”

Tears forced themselves to the surface but I blinked them away. My white flag couldn’t go up that easily. I didn’t even know what would happen if I told right now. Something just seemed off, my gut was battling with my head.

“Maybe. I mean, I don’t know.” My gaze fell into my lap.

“Did you ever tell anyone that these things were happening to you?”