David Grossman - The Book of Intimate Grammar

Again he looked at his watch and saw that almost an hour had gone by. Strange how fast time was flying, and now to signal for the third time. With what remained of his strength he climbed to the top of the rock and tried to stand up straight — his legs were trembling — to flash a final SOS; maybe last time Gideon was lying on his stomach and didn’t see the moving light-script overhead, because surely if he had seen it he would be here by now, it was an unignorable call for help, even if it came in the middle of a feud. Even when they were both grown up, living apart in foreign lands, lying in bed in their new homes, or palaces even, if they suddenly saw a light flash on the ceiling, threedots, three dashes, three dots, they would leap up and pack their bags and, without so much as a goodbye to anyone, hop on the first plane and get there just in time to rescue each other. They had sworn it.

He leaned against the rock, trying to steady himself, to put on a happy face. Why appear weak and repulsive? Trying to fill up with life from the rays of the setting sun. Let’s say he was in Komi, up to his knees in the ice, longing for this moment by the rock, but he didn’t have the strength to imagine Komi, Komi and the taiga were fading, shrinking. Aron to Aron, I’ve found something else, over; Aron to Aron, I almost forgot you were there, over; I hardly am anymore, I’m hardly there, it’s the end of the road, isn’t it, over; Aron to Aron, what did you find, over; I found, I found, deep down, under the dust, under the ground, another thing maybe you’d like to take with you, a gift, maybe it will help you, maybe it will last like the oil that burned for eight days; she used to buy a carp for the Sabbath, but it was a special carp. You’re the one who made it special, before you came along it was an ordinary carp swimming around in the bathtub, opening and closing its mouth, all fat and shiny, and you sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched it; it looked kind of silly, with its tough little body, opening and closing its mouth like a toy, swimming laps up and down the tub, and suddenly you stood up, yes, now I remember, you ran to her closet, climbed on a chair, and opened her jewelry box with the necklaces and bracelets and rings and pins, till you found what you were looking for, the shiny red bead that had dropped off, a shiny red bead, you were sure it was a ruby, and you ran to the bathtub with it, carrying it high in the air like a torch, your shiny red ruby, and then you caught the carp; it tried to wiggle out of your hands but you held it as tight as you could, though it floundered and flapped its tail and fought you, and you pushed the ruby into its mouth and down its throat with your finger, and it looked at you in furious amazement, but the ruby was in its stomach by then, and all day long you strutted around feeling proud of your secret: I have a fish with a ruby inside, and you waited for Mama to cut the carp open on Friday and find it there and make a wish, and whatever she asked would be granted instantly, so okay, it didn’t turn out the way you planned, things never do, especially not when you’re a child; it’s better not to believe in magic, so you don’t get disappointed, but now, nevertheless, on the path to the valley from the building project, here comes Gideon, just in time, at the very lastminute, walking his walk, his bowlegged walk, maybe I’m dreaming. Aron to Aron, maybe I’m dreaming, yes, maybe I am.

Hi, Kleinfeld, what’s up?

Hello, Gideon.

What are you doing here, all hunched over?

What, you saw my sign?

No. Move over. Let me sit on my side.

… And it will be a story about an ordinary boy, like us, a boy our age, see, I’ve been planning it for a long time, I jot my ideas down in a special notebook I bought, uh-huh, seventy pages, I’m always writing, it’s full of ideas, anyway, there’s a good chance it’ll be made into a movie, no really, about a kid like us, approximately our age; I can’t tell you everything yet, it’s still secret, but I will tell you one thing, there’ll definitely be spy stuff in it, and maybe something about a circus or Houdini, for entertainment; it isn’t finished yet, it takes a while to plan, but the truth is — the lies burst out on his tongue like flaming pimples — the boy’s name happens to be Gideon, and the plot involves airplanes, he’s really keen on airplanes, this Gideon kid, maybe he wants to be a fighter pilot; I haven’t written all of this down yet, or figured out how a kid can be a pilot, because, I mean, what if they do make it into a movie, don’t laugh, the kid will have to fly a real plane. No way, forget it, I’m not using doubles in my movie, this isn’t one of your James Bond deals; in my movie, everything is real and authentic from beginning to end, when the plane crashes and the kid is wounded in the leg, the leg, the leg. Aron licked his lips and peeked again at Gideon’s bare leg bouncing on the rock, he’d run out of words. He gasped for breath, how did he get himself mixed up in such a lie when all he wanted was to ask Gideon a simple question, the question, without mentioning any names, because it wasn’t her so much as whether Gideon was still loyal, only that would save him, but now he’d botched it, though laterwhen Gideon offered a loyal helpful hand up, Aron thought, Yes, I’m sure he waited for me, and almost melted with joy and relief when he clapped him on the shoulder warmly, and Aron asked with a choked voice, So what’s new, how’s it going? remembering too late to pull his puny shoulders back, and Gideon said, Hey, it could start any minute now, today or tomorrow, and Aron asked, What could? and Gideon ignored the question and solemnly whispered that his brother Manny had told him in strictest confidence what the secret call-up code for our defense force would be, and he glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. If you swear you’ll keep as silent as a grave, I’ll tell you too. Aron groaned inwardly, the basalt stone, there was a time when Gideon wouldn’t have had to ask him to swear it, and why was he going on about the secret code, what did that have to do with anything now, why was he offering trivial bribes, why didn’t he just say it: Was he or wasn’t he? and Gideon looked serious and said, Red sheet. Red sheet what? asked Aron faintly, sinking, lost. So the answer was no. He wasn’t, red sheet, that was no. And Gideon laughed. The secret code, dum-dum, what’d you think I meant, and if you ask me, it’s dynamite, red sheet, like waving a red sheet in front of a bull, get it, those Arabs are going to end up like a lot of dead bulls. Aron shook his head no, he didn’t understand, what was Gideon talking about? What did all his words amount to: are you or aren’t you? And Gideon said, What are we standing here for? and raised himself up on the rock, trying vainly to cross his long legs in the niche, till he finally gave up, dangled them over the ledge, and lay on his back, and Aron heaved a sigh of relief, Gideon was talking of nothing but the war. But just when Aron thought he still had a chance, he noticed a dark shadow, new and kinky, where Gideon’s thigh met his groin. There, see, over the leg. Why are you so jumpy, I just wanted to show you where the wound is. Who’s touching you. I mean, see, it’s a serious wound, shrapnel from antiaircraft, and for half the movie his leg will be bandaged, maybe even in a cast, though come to think of it, where would he get a cast in the desert? God, I’m dumb, see, I’ll change it immediately, and he took a pen out of his shirt pocket, tremblingly, with an earnest expression, and scribbled something on the palm of his hand. Gideon watched him blankly. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Maybe he remembered that once, long ago, Aron used to have these crazy dreams that all came true. But you had to believe in them. No: not in them, inAron. In his enthusiasm. But Gideon said nothing, revealed nothing. He had truly matured in that respect, and Aron didn’t know how to read his expressions anymore; there was only one hope, it didn’t even have to be an answer in words, it would be enough if Gideon would let him see clearly and definitively yes or no, that’s all he wanted: for Gideon to be a real friend, a friend through and through. And you know, just now as we were sitting here I had this dynamite idea, maybe you’ll be the star of the movie, yes you, why not, sure, a real movie, but for that we’ll have to put a bandage on your leg or a plaster cast all the way up to there. Hey, where are you going, stay, wait a minute, man. “Man”—I’m talking like them now, talking like them and lying like them. Give me a second to explain, where were we? Oh yes, it’s like this, the kid flies south on a rescue mission and suddenly the Egyptians fire their antiaircraft guns at him, or better yet — Listen to this, his closest friend, no, his brother, he’s a pilot too, see, and when his brother is shot down over Egypt, the younger brother, this Gideon, decides to rescue him, because no other pilot is willing to risk his life. So what do you think?