David Grossman - The Book of Intimate Grammar

And then because Gideon said, Quit it, you two, Aron cherished a fleeting hope that Gideon would come around to his idea, as a token of their friendship, as a sign of his loyalty. Don’t kid yourself. Still, a chance in a thousand? He leaned on his elbows and glanced at Gideon, who only went on sucking a fennel stalk.

And only last year Gideon had lain there earnestly pressing his face to the rock. With his chin thrust forward he was the image of Israeli youth: courageous, determined, like his brother Manny. The idea had been Aron’s, naturally, and he kept at it long after he realized how ridiculous it was; all right, maybe he was pretending, but he couldn’t afford to lose now, not even with this. Something was happening; he couldn’t quite put it into words but he knew, it was challenging him to hold his ground, which is why, as he sprawled on the rock in the usual position, one cheek round, the other flat, he remembered to stick his chin out, until the sound of chatter, or his anger at Zacky, or the pang he felt at Gideon’s betrayal, made him forget his obligations, and Mama’s chin disappeared.

Gideon raised a lazy wrist and checked his watch: time to run to his bar mitzvah lesson with the rabbi. Zacky, who was already past his bar mitzvah, said with a smirk that every morning now he prayed with his phylacteries — in the closet, haw haw haw; lately, no matter what came out of Zacky’s mouth, it sounded like a personal dig at Aron. Zacky sat up and grunted. Now he’ll start cracking his knuckles, thought Aron, humming a little tune in his head to drown out the obnoxious noise, he had a special voice for such occasions, and suddenly Gideon yawned and stretched luxuriously. Aron watched him. Who’s he trying to impress when he stretches that way? For a few weeks now, he’d noticed a kind of dark severity clouding the candor of Gideon’s face. Why that should hurt him, Aron didn’t know. He peeked again: no fuzz yet, though there was definitely a toughening under the surface, a hardening of the bones that hid the light within; and yes, his jawline was thicker now, it jutted out defiantly, almost like Manny’s, and you could see his cheekbones moving beneath the skin, but when did it happen, we’re always together.

Aron sat up with a little cry, it just came out of him, and he stifled it and pulled his socks up to hide the baldness of his skinny shins. Once again, he saw unblinkingly, the stubborn rock had declined to immortalize Mama’s features. Go on, you can’t make a fossil that way, saidZacky, just as Aron was reflecting that maybe all he had to do was try harder; or maybe it was too difficult to fossilize Mama as she looked today; he preferred to remember her two or three years ago, when she was warmer, friendlier to him. Frantically he groped in his pockets through the crumpled notes and the rotten onion strips for writing invisible messages and the candle stubs to decipher them by, and the cigarette butts he had started collecting for that other business, till finally he found a book of airline matches and plucked one out and struck it sharply against the rock, as only he could, but why did he have to light it now, to cap the argument? He gazed at the flame for reassurance.

Zacky had launched the fossil project with the face of his absent father. Right, because that will help you remember him, Aron chimed in, overjoyed to share his excitement, which only made Zacky scowl and say, Then I won’t do my father, I’ll do Hezkel instead, and he put on the face of his brother Hezkel, who drove a delivery truck; and when he got tired of sticking his jaw out like Hezkel, he switched to his broad-cheeked mother, a Bulgarian who married up, but his impression of her faded fast, and he went on to some uncle of his, and in the weeks that followed he ran through a whole slew of relatives, most of the players on the Betar-Jerusalem soccer team, various comedians, Chief of Staff Yitzhak Rabin, Sean Connery, and Cassius Clay. And then he decided he would quit knocking himself out for others, and from now on the only face he’d try to immortalize would be his own, for better or for worse. For worse, quipped Aron, in the good old days when Gideon used to laugh at his jokes. At that point Zacky started scoffing at the idea and inciting Gideon; and the next day Aron found himself alone.

Gideon glanced at his watch again. A quarter to, he pouted. Why did I have to get stuck with the longest Haftorah portion in the book. And Aron murmured: Then flew unto me one of the seraphim, with a glowing stone in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from off the altar; and He touched my mouth with it and said … He hadn’t started his bar mitzvah lessons with the rabbi yet, but he’d read the Haftorah portion a few times and was pleased with it. Summer’s coming, he thought, soon they’ll send me to Giora’s in Tel Aviv. Forget it, I’m not going this year. I don’t care if they kill me, I’m not going. He stood beside his friends now, twiddling sage leaves, rocking on his heels, bidding goodbye to something; okay, this was the moment to ask casual-like if there was any news of David Lipschitz, who’d been absent sincePassover, his seat was still empty. Nitza Knoller, their homeroom teacher, said David has been transferred to a more suitable environment, and that was the last mention of him, almost as if everyone had made a secret pact, but how did they know to keep their mouths shut; once there was a little boy, then he was gone, and Aron, like a character out of “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” was afraid to be the first to ask because then they’d know he wasn’t one of them. Zacky picked a fistful of hawthorn apples from a nearby tree and began to munch and spit. Aron turned away and stared into the distance. The valley looked strange and hazy all of a sudden. He hiked his trousers, Giora’s trousers, still a little large for him. I’ll need to find a big enough suitcase, he blurted. I can use my Uncle Shimmik’s black one, and we’ll tie a rope around it, and you guys’ll cover me, and three minutes later I’ll be out of there. Right, that’s how we’ll do it. Forty-two verses, groaned Gideon, I get hoarse just reading it silently. And then Aron remembered, he reached into his pocket and held out the piece of honey candy he’d brought especially for him; Gideon and Zacky exchanged glances. Gideon looked away and said, Don’t want any, Kleinfeld. Aron put his hand back in his pocket, careful not to feel rebuffed. All he did was offer Gideon a piece of candy. Just wait, this’ll be the biggest Houdini number yet; he spurred himself on like a mountain climber. Bigger than the one I did in the UNWRA crate, bigger than the one in the furnace, no kidding! I’m going to see Goldfinger tomorrow, said Zacky nonchalantly, rippling his arm muscles and examining them with interest. Hey, that’s restricted, you have to be over sixteen, said Aron, a little shocked. You coming, Gideon? asked Zacky. But they won’t let you in, protested Aron, they’ll check your ID’s at the door. How about it, want to go see Goldfinger tomorrow? Zacky reiterated. We’ll think about it, said Gideon, prudently evasive. Now he’s being tactful, sensed Aron. Phoo, I must’ve eaten a hundred of these, said Zacky, spitting out a mouthful of peels. Want some? He offered the remaining hawthorn apples in his hand. Gideon grabbed a few and chewed thoughtfully. Aron declined and shook his head. Oh, I thought you liked hawthorn apples, sneered Zacky. I did but I don’t, answered Aron. Go on, have some, they’re good for you, said Zacky, a new levity in his voice, pushing his hand into Aron’s mouth as Aron backed away. Hey, you two, cautioned Gideon, and Zacky flung the apples gleefully to the winds. Aron stood up in dismay.

Let’s race up the hill, suggested Gideon. Notice how quick he is to manipulate the situation, thought Aron, certainly a lot quicker than he used to be. They went down on one knee, arching their backs. Wait, cried Aron, switching feet, and a second later switched back again, but when that still didn’t feel right, he said he’d like to start from a standing position, if that was all right with them, which it was. You know you’re going to win, said Gideon, and Aron flexed his muscles, and Gideon said ready-set-go and they scrambled up the slope, Aron in the lead as usual, though they had longer legs now, and he wondered whether it was true what they said, that swimming champions shave themselves before a race to minimize the friction, maybe that’s why Aron ran faster than they did, so that even this little triumph turned into a humiliating proof of something, or maybe he had been propelled up the hill by the fear that seized him when Gideon said go, and for the first time ever, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Gideon’s voice had cracked.