Péter Nádas - Parallel Stories

He could not deny that a desire to assert himself was rising within him, to tell the other man straight to his face, wait, wait, my friend, things are exactly the other way around; I’m interested first and foremost in visible and reasonable things, not in your bottomless obscurity and perfidious secretiveness. I deal in objects and materials and if for no other reason I feel no obligation to obey your rules of chivalry. Retroactively, as it were, I spit on your hereditary valor too. I don’t give a damn about any of your transparent secrets, yours and those of your kind. Among you, I wouldn’t want to be even a master builder. You’re all notorious parasites, every one of you; your sole vital element is destruction and self-destruction, and I’m happy to leave that pleasure entirely to you.

Of materials, shapes, concepts, building, and expert knowledge you have no idea at all.

And because he did not say any of this aloud, his mouth trembled, as did his nostrils and eyelids, which the candlelight now turned glittering red.

He leaned back on his chair, to be as far away from the captain as possible.

And the moment he got his distance, he grew alarmed.

But I still don’t know, he argued with himself, how could I possibly know what it is I don’t want to hear from him, or what exactly I consider so ridiculous or false in his request.

In his nervousness, he laughed.

And if this is indeed so, he continued in his thoughts, I must be struggling not with him but with my own cowardice, my own mistrustfulness and ridiculousness.

If you absolutely insist on it, he said, laughing, then all right, here it is, but without the inclusion of any capital-letter God, take my simple word of honor.

What does this kind of word of honor mean, anyway, he thought to himself, nothing.

What accounting do I owe these people. I owe them no accounting at all.

It was heartwarming to think he had deposited his money in a reputable private bank in Amsterdam. He had to laugh at himself, and he did, which quickly produced a small advance on the longed-for fulfillment. And nothing really matters except money. And then he saw that his supercilious laughter had offended the other man, and he regretted his own leniency.

Now they had to reassess each other’s situation. They hadn’t yet started anything; they were in the midst of a methodological introduction but already sagging under the weight of each other’s life.

Come on, out with it, he said aloud and brazenly, because he wanted to be free of this burden as soon as possible.

Well then, I am a member of a very old secret society that today, unnoticed yet most effectively, covers the entire country, Bellardi replied, no less forcefully. What’s more, going with the spirit of the times, we’ve crossed borders.

I’ve been given the task of informing you of the organization’s goals.

Madzar did not even nod at this; he was dumbfounded, reduced to silence.

The terrible hunch was coming true, Bellardi was indeed a zealous Catholic opportunist, just as he had suspected earlier, and a conspirator to boot; he was right. But it cannot be, things cannot be so simple, he kept telling himself, as the other man in turn fell silent to allow his friend to process what he had heard.

But he was slightly relieved, after all, that it was not money the other man wanted from him.

Our organization is a community of men of consequence and influence, Bellardi went on, his voice somewhat hoarse, and I want to reassure you right off that we do not recruit our members but rather, after a number of sounding-out conversations, invite them to join.

You mean, I should consider this as one of those sounding-out conversations.

If you wish, I can quickly give you the names of prominent men in our circles.

No, thank you, I’d rather you didn’t.

The less you know, the safer it is.

That’s what I think too.

Don’t think of it as a young men’s club in some village, but rather as a large family with many distant relatives, or an exceptional gentlemen’s club so special that neither its name nor its address is known to anyone. The society has no address or, more accurately, it has as many addresses as it has members. The name of the organization we do not say out loud. Or you can think of it as a freemasons’ lodge, but one in which nothing embarrassing or exceptional happens. Except for the admission process, there are no ceremonies. At most, we listen to scholarly lectures on topics of Hungarian history. Whenever we can, we do this outdoors, at places where our ancestors gathered. The invited speakers are not necessarily members of our community and often they are not even aware they are speaking before a family or even members of an entire national-ethnic clan. Lajos Bartucs, László Németh, and Dezső Szabó lecture regularly. We chat about the world’s situation, its destiny, I would say über Gott und die Welt. The last time, we heard a lecture by Professor Lehr, with whose work you are probably familiar.

Unfortunately, the name means nothing to me, but you know I’ve been living and studying abroad.

He plays a very active and authoritative role in the society.

Bellardi paused, as if with a knowing look he were signaling something like this: I know what I know, the professor is one of the society’s supreme leaders and I’m letting you in on this.

He lectured, I would say very edifyingly, on the relationship between Dutch methods of dike building and the images of nature in rural Dutch life. I mention this because he himself has lived and taught in Holland, where he is well known in academic circles. His fields of interest include ancient history, linguistics, and ethnography. If you’re interested, I can give you a summary of his lecture.

Madzar waited cautiously; he did not want to reply to anything.

I can also tell you that we do not have debates or arguments among us, Bellardi continued. At most, in the warm circle of his family, each member quietly strengthens his moral duties to the fate of the Hungarian nation. At the end of the conversation that follows the kind of lecture I’ve mentioned, everyone knows what to do for the foreseeable future. No need to talk about it much, no one gives orders to anyone; there are no lengthy voting procedures either. The nature of Hungarians is more suited to this quiet harmony than to noisy parliamentary democracy or anything like that. If a decision is needed, the supreme council can deliberate the question, and in matters of greater importance there is the tool of public acclamation. I can also reveal to you that our activities are approved by more than one important personality in the highest circles. In fact, many of them are active members of our community.

He fell silent again.

With his raised eyebrows climbing high on his forehead, and with his arms elevated above the table, he indicated that His Excellency the regent, gazing down from the summit of the hierarchy, silently supports their activities.

He is, perhaps, our greatest patron.

Of course he does not appear in person, he added in a whisper, almost as if in passing, but occasionally his elder son represents him, and Mihály is undoubtedly a most enlightened Hungarian gentleman.

Madzar did not respond to this either.

Seven percent of our annual income goes to a common pool, the captain added in the same whispery tone, again as if only in passing. The majority of this money goes for the university education, and study abroad if necessary, of young men with proven Hungarian patriotic feelings.

From this moment on, Madzar not only felt an aversion to Bellardi but could not concentrate on what he was saying.

He wants my money after all.

Which he did not understand, but his not understanding was as profound as if he had failed to comprehend not only the other man but Creation itself.