Jáchym Topol - City, Sister, Silver

Černá … a lot of stuff ’s finished now, an when we get home … let’s take off, somewhere. For a while at least.

You think they’re after us?

I think they found him … the yellows. An they’ll know what to … they’ll take care a the bodies. You’re fantastic, any other girl would’ve caved in, but you …

What’re you sayin, I am caved in.

Yeah, me too I guess … for now let’s keep goin. An Černá …

Hm?

Did they tell you anything about me … what I … did?

No, Černá said quickly. No, they didn’t, but …

What?

Well, they made fun a you.

Uh-huh.

We came to a road. Not tires, I noticed. Wheels … wagon wheels. The road led into a valley. Černá spotted the first buildings. They were ruins though. Where once there were roofs now whole trees punched skyward. The road was overgrown with brambles and weeds. I nearly stepped on a rusty scythe. We made our way through the houses, sticking close together, we wanted … to get through as fast as possible, the village was surrounded by cliffs, there was no way to get around it.

Somebody told me … they evacuated some people from here …

Look!

She pointed … it used to be a church, but it must’ve been destroyed by an explosion … the roof, the copula, was torn wide open … we saw scattered gravestones, splintered crosses …

Those’re anthills, Černá said.

On a lotta the graves … I thought it was dirt, but then I took a closer look … it was alive, ants in motion … the grave looked like it had some kind of living matter coming out of it … we went on … me in the lead, and suddenly there was a creak, I winced … No! Černá shouted … Don’t even move! You’re on a well … I peeked cautiously down at my feet, the lid was made of rotten wood, teetering … Wait, don’t make a move or you’ll fall … she didn’t have to tell me, but maybe if I hop up … stretch out your arm … she couldn’t reach, but that was probably good, at least I wouldn’t drag her down … the lid’s edge crunched … it’s breakin, I’m goin down … grab on, I peeked in her direction … Černá stood, body pressed against a young oak tree, hands in front of her, and in one … I grabbed the end of the belt and pushed off … she held on, my weight pressed her into the tree, she scraped her face … we lay in the grass … you know many things, Černá … Yeah, I knew right away there hadda be a well there, my folks had one just like it, right next to the house. Where? Doesn’t matter, maybe I’ll tell you someday, but not right now, I can still see him there. Even now? I said. Especially now, she said.

We walked through the valley, going through a few more villages, and everywhere there were churches and graveyards demolished by the explosion, and everywhere ants lived on the graves … red ants with pinchers … we went by a little graveyard with stairs leading up to it carved into the rock, I wanted to take a look at the names, maybe figure out where we were … Don’t go up there, Černá said, she stayed on the road. But in the graveyards at least there were no rusty scythes, no abandoned wells, we weren’t scared a wall would collapse, and then … twilight caught us out, we went into a graveyard, the ground there was solid … we squeezed together out of fear, one of the anthills had some kinda phosphorescent twigs in it, I’d read somethin once about rotten wood.

No, Brother, those’re fireflies, you got em in your hair, she brushed my mane back from my forehead, I lay on top of her … we probly shouldn’t’ve, that poor guy down in the dark grave beneath us, I don’t want to know his name, then I’d have to think about him … let’s just say it makes him happy, said Sister, moving beneath me, legs propped up against the stone tablet full of cracks and holes leading somewhere else, into the chill … but then she said, stop it! Let’s stop, I think … that tree there’s watchin us, I got a feeling … I looked over my shoulder, by the dangling graveyard gate stood a lone tall tree, branches trembling in the wind, it was watching.

We got up and walked on through the night.

In the other villages … well, we got used to it. What was weird and distressing was, here and there, even though everything was smashed … in some houses, and we could see in through the crumbling walls, there were all sorts of desks and chairs still … bowls … a cross or two on the walls here and there, and I was glad they hadn’t been heathens.

You think, yeah, my companion snorted, like it did em any good …

Oh, you bet it did!

You’re so smart, aright, aright, maybe it did …

I sat down on a tree stump, we’d just come out of a village, and I said: Hey, sweetheart, I never hassled you about faith, but know this … once upon a time there was a fella, a priest, Bogomil, an he said, don’t make pictures of Bog, it’s not for everyone … just for the strong people of cruel Bog, an he an his woman … whose name can’t be uttered, it’s always changing! She’s eternal … have got two sons, Logos, word, an Lupus, i.e. wolf, i.e. Warrior, the younger brother an the older brother, an they stick up for each other …

Cool, got a smoke?

Yeah.

Well, go ahead, she said, taking off her boots, you’ve sure got some interesting theories …

Old Orthodox Bogomil, a.k.a. Theophilus, was smart to come up with censorship, just imagine, some people’re usin images of Bog now in ads … subtitlin him in the old tongue, yep … for example, God smokes Jupkas, so should you … or God on TV, prime time, when they show those illegal gladiator fights, snacks on Avízo pretzel sticks, so can you … I saw it, pisses me off … now God an the whole happy family drink only delectable Dagoberts coffee, know that one?

That one, yeah.

There, you see … an this priest said the world’s an embrace, always in pairs, day an night, man an woman, an so on, nonsense too, an that it’s unknowable, like a dream … an you fight against it all, but you’re part of it. An sometimes, just sometimes, you catch a glimpse … just for the blink of an eye, you glimpse the wheel of the world … an then you return to make your way through more snares an traps an delusions, makin your way through the deceptions … an it’s all just about bein free, bein yourself, avoiding slavery … and we who know about the secret, boy do I love you! we love eagles, cause they see … they’re still around in some places … an it’s about findin your being in the vale of tears, in other words your other half, so you can be whole, at least for a while! an be there for someone, an through passion an strength of feeling, he said, you can overcome even your own pain, drown out the awful solitude … an you also fight with the other one, just like with yourself, but in love all things’re permitted … on the other hand there’re rules, but! … if they’re after you, you can do anything … an in order to find that being, you gotta get past the snares … the eagle of course sees into the future, or more like senses it … you’re asleep!

No, look at my boots. A nail came through, it’s diggin into me.

An sometimes you can fly even, at least for the blink of an eye …

Yeah right … you an your flyin … but look at my feet. They’re all bloody.

I’ll give you my shoes.

That’s stupid, then you won’t be able to walk either.

I gave her my socks and she stuffed them with leaves, put bark in her boots, left em untied … we walked on in silence … I had a feeling that what’d happened, what she’d done, the forest and houses we’d gone through too, our motion was wiping all of it out, the horror … I mean she had to do it, I said to myself.

That pistol … you got it? She asked.

I do, an it’s stayin with me.