Jáchym Topol - City, Sister, Silver

Hey there, fella, the Face rumbled back.

An I was totally devastated, cause when I realized it could be Bog himself I had hoped to hear his speech, thinking his words would be old an beautiful, splendid objects, like rare wood … but for him to talk like some arrogant city hooligan … that I hadn’t expected.

You get what you deserve, said the Face. Watch closely now!

An that metal lump in the oven was a key … I saw it via the same technology a satellite up in space I guess uses to size up a sneaker … an ordinary key, an all at once I knew it was the same key you see around the necks of the scamps that live in those ratty tenements where their moms an pops don’t trust the neighbors … an with good reason, they’re all the same beasts … an they can’t hide the key in the hallway cause everyone knows all the tricks already, every hallway’s the same … so they put the key around their scamp’s neck so he can get in when they aren’t home cause they’re too busy chasin cash an vitamins … boozin it up … writin poems … gettin laid … keepin appointments … always on the go an they don’t have time, an city perverts, all sortsa Chikatilos,* have known it for a century at least … so they single out the brats with the keys around their necks, an when the right time comes along they say: Can I help you, son? Little girl? Your folks aren’t home anyway, an what grade’re you in, princess? C’mon now, you can tell me, I’m consumed with curiosity, an here’s some candy … an next thing you know they got their foot in the door … an the brats’re defenseless … cause some muffled scream, neighbors don’t give a fuck … all neighbors’re idiots.

An then, O my brothers an free lancers, I realized, or more like the Face put the thought in my brain, that that Jewish boy or girl … that used to lug that key around on his or her neck back in his or her time, that Moishele or that Bashele, wasn’t gonna come … the Child’s not gonna make it cause they burned him in that oven. An that was the Messiach. An all that awaits us till the day we die is the hopeless, meaningless life of a worm.

An as I hung there powerless, O my brothers, I started to wring my hands, which as an actor of some standing I’ve always considered bad form … but then an there I realized that even that can be appropriate at the right time in the right place.

An I screamed at and into the Face: How come? An what’re we sposta do … it’s not our fault!

An the Face didn’t answer, but suddenly I felt somethin push on my neck an I started fallin down … an I was back at the ovens with you.

An we started running, O my brothers, over that field of bones, an though we weren’t breaking through anymore, every skull we stepped on screamed in pain, an we’d jump aside in horror but we’d always just land on another an then its jaws too would open wide an let out a scream, an there was no way to stop because wherever we stepped or tried to stand still the skeletons would pitch an scream, an wherever we tripped or stumbled an fell there were cracking sounds an moans of pain … an some of the skulls’ empty eye sockets had tears rolling out of them, an some of the skulls in front of us kind of like tried to get out of the way but just sort of twitched an we had to jump onto them, an whenever we slowed down, in the blink of an eye we saw flesh an blood … an so we kept running, hoping to find a spot where we wouldn’t wound anyone an the horrible moaning would stop, but there were skeletons an skulls all over the place, an all of a sudden I heard what it was that all those skulls were screaming, an it was like thunder, slow, rhythmic, an rolling: Our blood on you and your children! And again: Our blood on you and your children! An then I went flying back up, an the Face was there before me.

Know who they’re screamin at? said the Face. Your grandpas.

An I go: But … they couldn’t do anything!

Oh yeah, right. I guess not. Said the Face.

An I gathered up my courage, because just hanging there like that I coulda been tossed anywhere at any time, an it occurred to me that actually I didn’t care anymore, an I go: Like that our grandpas didn’t slaughter those guys before they slaughtered the Jews, yeah? An what if they had … somehow … what if the Messiach had been one a those other guys that got slaughtered!

But he wasn’t. Said the Face. And it sneered.

An it occurred to me up there that it didn’t matter anymore whether our grandpas had been slaughtered or kept quiet or took part in the killing, it didn’t matter anymore for what reasons or by what coincidence, but the Messiach wasn’t coming. He’d been here an they’d burned him. That’s what flashed through my mind while I was hanging there, O my brothers.

Exactly, said the Face. I don’t like the way you keep killin em. An if I give it another try, said the Face, it won’t be till … well … we’ll see.

So why’d you let it happen? I shouted, no longer afraid.

But the Face didn’t answer me. An suddenly I was holding that key … an ordinary house key … made by the thousands all over the place … but then the key started burning my hand … turned white-hot, an I let go an watched it drop back into the human ashes.

It dropped down in there an the ashes swallowed it up. So that’s it, brothers an chiefs, that’s what I saw. But one more thing: I was hanging there in space over that land of ashes an skeletons. An the space wasn’t moving because time’d died with the Messiach in Auschwitz, an I grasped my enormous mistake. No time bomb exploded, brothers, an some of the acting an dancing I’d done was the dance of the dead, of a man without time, an that was a mistake, an arrogant mistake. Time died in the land of ashes, it hit me. Because one tribe had tried to kill off another an it almost worked an the wheel of the world of human tribes had been broken. An if I hadn’t heard that cry of pain, I donno if I would’ve come down from up there … ever, brothers, but then I heard a scream … an I saw it in the sky, like the sound of a sharp knife ripping through canvas … a scream out of a nightmare, an I got scared that whatever it is that comes after hell had come back to life again down there below me … but then I recognized the voice, it was our helper and superintendent: Vasil.

An in the dead timeless sky I saw a dark star glowing … time had shifted … an that star was Wormwood, brothers. The Face showed me Wormwood, an it was scarlet, an there in the sky stood a man-at-arms with animal horns on his helmet … an he was draped in a scarlet cloak, he wore the color of rage with pride … it was the Dark One in all his power, the Prince … an the Face gave me power too, an I shouted: Hey hey! An in my heart there was joy because suddenly it overflowed with the cruel water of the warpath, an once again I was happy, my sinful hopelessness was gone … an maybe it was the joy of a worm with a meaningless life who now knows it’ll never have meaning, but I was joyful … because the Face was here an I was here an you were here, O blood brothers, an the Devil was over there … I was joyful … I was back in the wheel of war, I was alive … an I knew many traps’re hidden to man but there’s still somebody to fight against … an then I was back by the ovens with you.

Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here a while, said Bohler.

We leaned our backs against the grating and the sun shone overhead but it didn’t give off any heat. Still, we weren’t cold. An as for me, O skippers an pseudodroogs, I forgot all about my flight the second I sat back down on a bone an leaned against the oven.

We were five* an there were millions all around an we had no clue what was to become of us.

But Josef Novák the skeleton had shown us so much horror … we had no more tears or vomit left, an even though we were still afraid, I saw a couple of my buddies with smiles on their faces … but they weren’t ordinary smiles … Micka bared his teeth grotesquely … Sharky squatted down, pouring ashes on his head an wailing again, but then he gave up an came over to us an curled his lips back too … it was a wicked wolfish smile … because we didn’t know what to do anymore, the springs we had inside us had bounced back against the horror … so, fine, if some power wants it, we’ll die right here an maybe we’ll go to hell an shove it up your ass! I had the same smile too, I think, wicked … a wolfish grin.