Jáchym Topol - City, Sister, Silver

Bohler sank to his knees and for what must’ve been the hundredth time now, O sling shooters and free lancers, broke into loud moans. Micka spat, this time David didn’t say a word, and Sharky walked slowly up to the skeleton, until his face was about 2 cm away from his … face … and spat through his crooked teeth: Are you tryin to tell us, whoever the hell you are, you Novák, that the man who murdered the Jewish nation, that devil Mengele, is in heaven?!

Whoa there, boyo, now slow down wid that devil stuff, cause see lotsa people … people, hm, anyway … in the wild blue yonder wondered bout that, an lots of um Mengele sent there personally … see, news gets aroun up there, oh yeah … whole place is like one big latrine … rumors an agitations … wull but things’re diffrent out our way … an I was wondrin too, but then one day Hanuš tells me, cause see he’s inda negroz an he translated … propriated … all sortsa negro storees, an he tells me how Mengele’s down in Argenteena, boyoz, yeah? an those modern Izraeli boyz’re huntin im, so he hops a plane an drops in on one a those negro rain forests an some a them negro boyz find im there, Bororoz or somethin, Hanuš tells me, ain’t talkin through my hat, boyoz, no sir, jus sell it like I bought it … Hanuš like surmized it all, yeh? Jus so we’re clear, ha! An these Bororoz, wull, they’re out huntin Vaiz, these other negroz … been fightin for years out there in those forests, cuttin each other’s heads off, like trophies, yep, inhyooman negroz! Like champeenship cups, boyoz, yeh? Swingin it yet, are ya? Wull an so they bag Mengele an take one look an leave im alone … an so there he is, what’s he gonna do … an he’s sittin there in fronna his hut, happy as can be cause those new Jew boyz, those modern ones, won’t be comin afder im there … no sir, boyz, all there is there’s anacondaz an lizardz an parrots an spiderz big as a cottage, all sortsa kina critters, Hanuš tells me … no smart Jew boyz’re goin in there! Not even for Mengele! I tell ya, no mixup there, nope, ha! Wull an one day Mengele sees this negro walkin through the village an he hollers an foams at the mouth an drops an he’s a goner. An Mengele goes da the negro king an says, what’s with that pardner there made im holler like that? An the king says, yeah we dunno, hey Mengele, yer a dochtor, go give it a gander … an Mengele goes an aha! Cancer! The ole familiar, yep! No mixup there! An Mengele goes inda his hut an surmizes an reckons an mutters an snorts … three days he’s in there! That’s the way it was! Cross my heart an hope ta die, pardnerz! Wull an so he reckons it all up … draws some formyalas in the sand … an he tells this negress: Go an get me this stuff … an then tells another one: Go an get me that stuff … an this other one he tells: Go an get me this other stuff … an he nods ta the formyala, wull an that’s how it goes, an the negro king gives Mengele some palm wine an cigars, an Mengele shuts imself up in his hut an dumps the stuff in a satchel an stirs … an stirs … an three days later, bingo! pardnerz, he’s got it! But careful, it’s not over yet: cause afder he went an cured the Bororoz, this delegation a Vaiz comes an says somethin bout some ole feuds … an buryin the pipe … an they got alla these gifts for him an the king … carvings … an heaps a gold … precious gems … so Mengele goes an cures alla those negroz … an peace breaks out all up an down the Ammazon … an alla those negro heftlinks, all of um prosperin an diggin gold … no more cruel diseases or fires or killin or nothin! It was paradise. Yep an him there, boyz! Lived there like that fordy years! An made a deal wid the tribes so they wouldn’t go an stab im. An they went an stabbed im anyways! Yep, go trust a negro.

You’re a racist, Sharky said disgustedly.

Nobody’s found a cure for cancer yet, David said boldly.

Did Mengele do penance? Tell me! Bohler roared.

C’mon, the guy’s fulla shit, Micka barked.

I kept my mouth shut, my buddies had said it all.

What’s it now, boyz, awways mumblin! What’s alla this racist talk … I worked the bar, never played in no orkestra, I told ja loud an clear! Wull an how’re they sposda find the cure when the fella got stabbed! I mean I tell ya! An how bout chou, preacher? Penance, yeah, did he do it, did he not, like how’d he get ta heaven afder what he did ta alla those boyz … an dames an kids … yep, I dunno, preacher, I’m a little man an anyways, guesser guesser guess away guess, wull ya know the rest by now, sokolites … sit cherselfs down! C’mon, yer tired!

He was right. With great relief, friends and flag-bearers, we flopped down next to the nearest oven and leaned our backs against the grate.

Wull now, my weary sokols … rub-a-dub-dub, five ducks in a tub, till one sank down an blub blub blub … Heh heh, boyz! Spose I’d better be …

So long! said Micka.

Thank you very much! Bohler said for the rest of us.

That is … wull jus one more, know this one, boyz? Hitler’s meetin wid Chamberlain an Stalin, an Hácha* walks in an says: Hey, fellas …

Yeah, Mr. Novák, we know it, only with a different cast, Micka said.

On a different set, I clarified.

Wull all right, boyz, yeh! An hey, pardners, heh heh, I mean we’re all men here … how bout this one? This lady goes ta the dochtor an says: Hey, boss …

Yeah, yeah, Mr. Novák, we know it, we assured the skeleton in unison.

An how bout chou, boyz, know any? Somethin I might pass along ta Poláček … that ole Hebe …

Well, maybe, if … I cleared my throat … and said: Hey, Mr. Novák, ya know the one about the nun?

Heh heh, the skeleton shuffled eagerly, heh heh, guess not, try me, young fella, give it a go, my silvery sokol, speak an tell!

Well there’s this nun walkin down the street, an she’s goin past this doorway, an this guy jumps out with this metal rod an biffs her in the head. She goes down, an the guy biffs the nun again, an she’s gone, she’s history. An the guy spits an goes: Huh, I thought you could take more than that … BATMAN!!!

Micka and Bohler collapsed in a laughing fit, I just wheezed, David howled, and Sharky went into hysterics, falling flat on his back on the skeletons.

Wull now, boyoz, boyoz, Josef Novák the skeleton shook his skull … I sorta didn’t … whatchamacallit … what’s wid all the hee-haws … I mean that nun musta … pardners?

Guesser guesser guess away guess, with all the strength that you possess!!! Bohler shrieked and, O my brothers, maybe it was strange, out there with that sea of skulls and the ovens and … Josef Novák! … but we couldn’t stop laughing.

Wull, pardners, if I could like, yeh? Cause I got a riddle too, boyoz, so like what cha gonna do now then, heh?

We stopped dead.

Wull then, pardners, yep, this here … all the best, sokolites … guess I’d better be, I mean I was advised … an maybe I’ll be seein ya … up there … wull it all depends on you … arrivaderchee!

And next thing we knew, the skeleton fell to pieces, bone by bone, the skull first, then the arms and legs, and a few seconds later Josef Novák the skeleton was just another one in the sea of millions.

And it was quiet again.

An I was chosen, brothers, an I realized after a while why I’m the bearer of the dream … in all modesty, blood brothers an industrialists … maybe the reason the Face singled me out was cause I’m a dancer an an actor an therefore an artist, an as such’ve already got within me the proper dose of insanity, an maybe that’s why I was able to take what I saw an now I can share it with you. It started inconspicuously.

See, I sat down on a bad skeleton an it slipped out from under me an without even thinkin, just on instinct, I did a dance, a little elbow here an a hand or two there, an suddenly I was flying, soaring, an from way up high I saw you down there, relaxing or dying, an I was down there too, an I saw the skeletons in the ovens, from the last ones killed I guess, they were shattered an cracked from the heat, an then all I could see was ashes, an lying there among them in one of the ovens, brothers, was a little piece of melted metal, it was there under the grate that we’d been leaning on the whole time. An all of a sudden, O my brothers, the Face was there in front of me, an it was kind … an up there in the air I did a little skip for joy, cause I was convinced this had to be Bog, but I didn’t know what to do … so all I said was: Hello.