Jáchym Topol - City, Sister, Silver

And we just sat there, chiefs and brothers, quiet as mice, no longer feeling the pain from our wounds.

Wull then, yer worships, ring-a-ding-ding, let the tour begin! Ordinarily I’m advised ta awways start the gents off wit the ramp, but today, gentlemen, I … today, hm, anyway … things’re diffrent for us … it’s just that I got somethin ta do later on, so if ya don’t mind I’ll just give ya a little peek, right, yeh? Wull, silence gives consent, as ole Brychta useda say when he was coppin coins oudda farmers’ dampers on Coal Market Square, kapisch, pardners?

Over there then, the skeleton pointed to the sea of bones, that was the ramp an that’s where Mengele useda separate the wheat from the chaff’s how he put it. Over there, when the cattle car I was on pulled in, wull it’s all behind us now, there’s an incident from my first day goes wid that, when those Jew boyz see us fallin oudda the wagons, suffocatin ta death an dyin a thirst, they come flyin in there wid the whips, chop-chop everyone out, ess-ess’re standin behind um, wull an we go down the ramp an there’s Mengele an all the rest of um wearin these white lab coats, an he sees me an says: Now there’s a showpiece! an the whole hullabaloo stops on the spot an I strip down to my birthday suit an he takes this pointer an points an all the resta the docktors an ess-ess’re lookin an some brass band’s playin along in the background. An he says, course now I know what he said an I laugh right at it: Note here the typical degeneration of the cheekbones … an he like jabs me wid the pointer … the typical Jewish nose … the flattened palate … here we have Beelzebub’s hump … notice the striking size of the sex organ … proof of pervertedness … depravity … Wull hell, it tickled. An I donno hardly any German, jus the stuff the guards’re screamin, an what wid all those folks in the cattle car sobbin an moanin I figure they’re givin me some special welcome, like I’m some upper crust or somethin, which … now all that’s behind me, things’re diffrent out our way … I figured since all he’s tellin the rest of um is Rechts! an Links! an flippin his pointer back an forth. An so I raise my right hand an go: Heil Hitler, meine offizieren und docktoren an scholars. Ich bin eine kleine tschechische schweine, geboren aus Žižkov,* howdy do, Novák from Prague here. Greetins, everyone, an long live the Fiihrer an the Thousand-Year Reich! Hip hip hooray! An Mengele hears an turns all white an swishes his pointer, an the guards kick me inda the line for the gas, yep nowadays I’m above it all, but what wid the hubbub stoppin an restartin, the lines got all tangled up, an they start tearin dames’ kids away … confusion sets in … an the Jew boyz fly back in wid the whips, chop-chop dividin it up like … like, pardners, kapisch? … but they jus made an even bigger mess, an I’m down there floppin aroun in the mud an they’re at me wid the whips, wull I’m above it all now, an then this one kid kicks me back inda line, wull an that was the wheat line, nowadays, wull, I laugh right at it.

And suddenly I realized, brothers and skippers, I was walking behind Josef Novák the skeleton, and so were you, we were walking across the bones, but it was safe, just a little bit hard on the feet, like concrete. And the skeleton stopped and turned to us. Wull, pardners, that’s like how it was … and then he picked a bone up off the ground, a man’s shin, I think, and said: Fall in!

And all of us, brothers and buddies, obediently fell in line like it was some fuckin army drill.

Wull, pardners, Josef Novák the skeleton walked up to Micka: Let’s see yer teeth, swine! Heh heh, scared ja there, scoutie, he laughed, waving the bone. Rechts! Yer a strong fella, you’da gone on road detail. But watch it! That was ess-ess Bauch’s kommando, an he’da only been happy if you misbehaved, only real pleasure for him was breakin strong fellas. Nice an slow. There there, scoutie, what’s a matter? the skeleton stopped at Bohler and ran the bone over his rags. Cassock? That’s too bad, an yer a strong one too, but preacher men only got three days da live aroun here, kapisch? An then it was nach oven an I’m talkin ein zwei drei! Then Josef Novák the skeleton comes up to me and goes: Hey, scout, whatcha shakin for, ya sure yer not a touch meshuga? But then, noticing my slightly frazzled elbows and the minor permanent sprain in my left shoulder … he bent down and listened to the rhythm of my heels … and Josef Novák the skeleton tossed away the shinbone, threw his arms around me, and said: Colleagues, heh? And I went, yes … Mr. Novák. Wull, ya mighta been able da hop aroun the camp fancy house a while fore ya hopped cher way inda the oven. And then the skeleton passed Sharky and just snickered and let out a hoot: Wull that’s an obvious one, and then he stopped at David. You’re a pretty young good-lookin boy, I’d give ya the road, but if Oberst Prochaska gets a gander a ya, that’s yer tough luck. Wull, boys, alla ya’d, cept for this gent here, he said pointing to Sharky, end up, long as ya got cher paypers all shipshape down at the rathaus! the skeleton admonishingly lifted a bony finger, in an Aryan camp. Wull but it’s twelve a one an half a dozen a the other, as ole Vanecek said durin that blackjack game down at Kalenda’s when he lost the last thou he’d got for those horses he sold to Kropáček from Byteč an hadda dig the coins oudda his pockets, heh! Wull never mind, move it along, pardners. So over there ya got cher tattoos, pricky pricky, heh heh, wull nowadays I’m above it all, an how bout a little shortcut, we’ll jus swing over this hill, keep that spinnin top spinnin, keep those wheels from standin still! Wull then right here ya had jer gallows, yep, got used whenever someone misbehaved, or whenever they were empty … and, brothers and buddies, I took a few steps back because Bohler was kneeling there vomiting, and when he had nothing left to vomit then he began to choke, so I gave him a few manly kicks in the back …

Yep an when I got ta my digs those Jew boyz that plucked me oudda the gas let loose on me wit that gibberish a theirs … wull, pardners, you had me mixed up too, carryin on wid all that talk a yers at first, I was advised some young gentlemen from Prague were here, an I mean it’s like I told ja! How bout that sweet little mother of a hundred spires of ours … don’t cha go poopin yer you-know-whats now … how bout ole Fensterer, still got that butcher shop a his up on Klamovka, pardners? Just got it back, Micka reported dejectedly. Wull an those Jew boyz let loose on me, an when they found out I was no showcase Jew, or even an ordinary one, when they found out I was a mixup, I mean I told ja, goddammit! they kicked me oudda the barracks, wull nowadays I’m above it all. An the tour moves on, shake a leg, make it snappy, gotta keep the wifey happy, hey! Wull, pardners, this right here’s a good one, in spring of forty-three me an Broněk jumped this one ole Izzy an scarfed down his potatoes, wadn’t that a treat, yep, yep. An this right here’s where yer Jewish soap was made, as in out of um, yup, an so me an Broněk snatched some an plugged it to the Polaks, word was it kept the lice off, yep, yep, it’s all behind us now, swingin the lingo yet, pardners? Ya know you fellas talk funny, like some kina goody-goodies, ya sure yer from the little mother? Hey an right over here’s where they killed Bonn, Hanuš, yep, right over here by these stakes, told me bout it when we went fishin, yep, yep. Right here then ya had jer storehouses, boyz, right here ya had yer ess-ess canteen, yer fancy house, heh heh, an right here ya had jer offices, here’s where I’d useda see Poláček,* awways makin like he was in a rush fillin out forms for the transports, cross out one, put down another, yeah he was good, that ole Hebe, all it cost was a little margarine, yep … Enough! roared Bohler. We turned around and saw him standing behind us with Sharky, and Sharky started in again, shimmying all over the place and wailing in that voice that didn’t go with him at all, something like asmoel … yizgebal … oooeee … chayil … ay-ay-ee … shoah … ey-ey-eee … an Bohler stood next to him with a cross resourcefully fashioned out of two bones tied together with a strip of his cassock, roaring: Stand back, infernal power … diabolical delusion … unclean force … and as the two of them came walking down a path of bones toward us, I could almost feel the power of the warpath … but Novák the skeleton just laughed and said: Oh yeah, folderol, shenanigans, yep, gentlemen carry on all sortsa ways here, rollin aroun the ground, oh yeah, it’s got all kindsa diffrent effects, yep, yep, I’m aware a that … but … and the skeleton scratched his skull with the shinbone.