Noah Cicero - The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I

She pumped and pumped.

I could tell by her face she was trying to piss, but she couldn’t.

She eventually gave up and sat on my chest like she was sitting on a toilet.

It took a while, but finally she urinated all over my being.

I loved it, it felt so good.

That warm piss splattering over my chest.

Flowing over my ribs and stomach.

That warm stinky liquid, oh it was nice.

Then she said, “Now you piss on me.”

She lay down and I stood above her like I was pissing at a urinal.

I stared down at her for a minute and then began to urinate.

I drank two cans of soda that day and I pissed a lot.

She squirmed as the piss hit her.

It was beautiful like “The Star-Spangled Banner” or “God Bless America.”

Billy Jean had a really deep belly button, so a lot of the piss collected there like a small puddle of love, faith, and hope.

I looked down at her urine-covered body and became insanely turned on.

I was also covered in urine.

Got on top of her and fucked her missionary, rubbing our piss-covered chests together.

Oh, it was romantic.

It was like a love scene from a Meg Ryan movie.

It was beautiful.

Rubbing our piss together was powerful.

Illuminating.

Full of grace.

Enlightening.

Scintillating.

Brilliant.

Dazzling.

A festival of cotton.

Billy Jean had an orgasm and then I pulled out and blew my load all over her urine-covered chest.

I knew that I loved her as I looked down at her cum-and-urine-covered chest.

I knew for the first time in my life what love was.

It was a set of behaviors two humans exchanged.

It wasn’t a feeling you couldn’t control.

There wasn’t anything mystical about it.

It was just behaviors.

When two assholes immensely enjoy each other’s asshole behavior.

I didn’t tell Billy Jean I loved her at that moment though.

I saw no point in it.

Our thoughts were full of dirty sex and human depravity at the moment.

Neither of us needed love or any of that shit to get in the way of a good time.

I wrote a poem about our sweet-like-a-Corvette love after the event.

You urinate on me

I urinate on you

You orgasm

I orgasm

Sometimes you do the dishes

While I cook

Sometimes I do the dishes

While you cook

We eat together

And talk about political theory

It is so nice

When we fuck

You have such a nice pussy

And a big round ass

Oh

Baby

Oh baby

*

One night I was lying on the floor playing video games.

One of those games where you just run around and shoot people.

Those are my favorite.

Well.

Billy Jean came home from work and brought this guy with her.

His name was Nate.

I knew him from the strip joint.

Nicest person.

Very gentlemanly.

Total cokehead and drunk.

But still a great person.

I knew what was going to happen next.

Billy Jean wanted to have sex with him.

I had no problem with that.

But I really didn’t feel like watching.

I had already gotten off that night to some pics on the computer.

I knew Nate was sad, miserable, and heartbroken.

He had just gotten over a divorce and worked fifty hours a week as a construction worker.

So his life wasn’t easy.

I went to the bedroom and read a book about Youngstown.

I heard them flirt out there and heard the noises of sweet sad sex.

I had to go to the bathroom and had to walk through the living room and saw them.

Nate was on top of her slowly fucking her.

He was imagining romance and love.

I had been there before and still was a lot of times when I had sex with Billy Jean.

I stood there for a while just looking.

As I watched them have sex I realized that depraved sex is just one of the activities we do to escape this shit-pool of lies and cheap labor.

Tah Dah.

A man or woman way back in the day.

Stood next to the Euphrates.

Looking at the water.

Thinking, because there was a problem.

There was a food shortage.

The tribe was going to die.

The person stood and thought for hours.

It was a hot day in spring.

The person looked around and noticed and realized that where they shit, the plants they liked to eat grew strangely all in one place.

The person started digging around in the shit and saw that the plants were popping out of the little round pieces of shit.

So the person grabbed a bunch of seeds and ran back to the tribe and yelled, “Look, these are what make our food, these things.”

They stared at him like an asshole.

“No, I’m serious. These little things go in the ground, and then our food comes up after the cold part of the year.”

A person of the tribe said, “Shut the fuck up! Are you stupid, the Turtle God Dingy Baka makes the food grow after we pee in the holy puddle.”

“No, I really think these little things make our food grow.”

“Whatever, you plant those stupid little things on your own fucking time. But if it makes Dingy Baka mad, we are going to kill you. You got that motherfucker!”

“All right, all right.”

So the person planted a bunch of the same little things that were near the plants the tribe ate in a single area.

Soon food starting growing.

Eventually they figured out that water helped the plants grow and then later, how to harness animals to help them grow food more efficiently.

*

After many generations.

One man had much more fertile land than the others.

He went to the tribe and said, “I cannot work all my land by myself. I need help, are there any men who have shitty plots that want to leave them and help me work my land?”

Several men said, “Yes, our land is shitty. We will come and work for you.”

The one man with the bountiful piece of land became very powerful, and took control over the tribe.

*

After several generations a man who also had bountiful land went to the tribe and said, “That land that I work is mine, and I want it to go to my son. But I want to ensure it is my son. How do I do that?”

The men talked for several days and concluded, “Pick a woman, and don’t let her leave the house no matter what.”

And that’s what the man did.

He walked amongst the tribal women and chose one.

The father of the woman said, “You can’t just take my daughter, she cooks and makes clothes.”

So the rich man gave some money to the father and took his daughter to his home.

The woman did not understand it.

Women had always been equal with men.

Everyone had always enjoyed the freedom of sex.

But, “Those days are over. We have to worry about our property now,” the man said to the woman.

Eventually cities were built.

Taxes were invented.

And civilization blossomed.

*

Sometimes I get a knife.

And cut little slits in my skin.

Blood drips out.

I rub my finger in it.

Prostitutes always get their eyes cut out.

*

The President came to Youngstown.

He brought the military with him.

The President had the military round up all the ghetto trash, Latinos, and poor white trash.

The military told the people the President was going to give them a present.

So the people happily went.

Thousands stood before the stage waiting for their present.

The President came out and said, “I am tired of you people living here.

“You make America look bad.