Noah Cicero - The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I

So I went.

I drove there.

It was in a shitty neighborhood.

All of Youngstown is shitty.

Youngstown was at its best fifty years ago.

Since then no one has had enough money to build anything new.

There’s not even a legitimate grocery store in Youngstown.

Nobody has had money in Youngstown for a long time.

You could tell it had been a real theater at one point.

Where Citizen Kane and Asphalt Jungle had played.

But there were no more movie theaters in Youngstown.

There was nothing in Youngstown.

I parked the car on the side of the building and got out.

There was a fat man sitting in his car looking around.

I walked past his car and went in.

There was a small porn store in the front.

There was an old woman at the counter.

She was very polite and said, “How you doing today?”

I said, “Fine, how are you?”

She said, “I’m good. Nine dollars for the movie.”

I handed her money and went in.

There were men standing at the top of the walkways into the theater.

They were normal-looking men.

They looked like factory workers and schoolteachers.

I assumed they were waiting for someone to come over and offer a blowjob.

I had to go piss so I asked someone where the bathroom was.

He directed me upstairs.

Went up creepy steps to the bathroom.

There was a long hallway that led to a lounge.

There was a couch with an ashtray next to it.

That room led to the bathroom.

I went to the urinal, unzipped and started to piss.

In front of the urinals was a white poster board covered in writing.

“10–09 left side of theater suck your dick.”

“I love huge black cock 555-5467.”

“I love fat cocks getting hard in my mouth.”

“Left side of theater, suck your dick.”

“Suck your sick, suck your dick, suck your dick, suck your dick, suck your dick.”

I had seen this before at truck stops, so I wasn’t surprised.

When I was washing my hands a large black man walked in.

He looked at me and I looked at him.

We had a moment.

I went downstairs.

Sat on the left side of the theater.

Had no idea if that meant anything.

I knew that homosexuals had an intricate system of signs to communicate what they wanted. I could have been sitting in the “Urinate on my face section.”

Didn’t know. Didn’t care.

I watched the movie for a while.

It was an old porn.

There were two males and one female.

The two males took the female’s clothes off.

Then one male took the other male’s clothes off.

Then that male started sucking the other male’s dick.

It was evident to me that I was in a very weird location.

I didn’t mind watching the two men suck each other off and fuck.

The female was cute and so was one of the males.

I looked around and saw the big guy from the bathroom sitting five seats away from me.

I looked directly at him for ten seconds and he motioned me over.

He wanted me to suck his dick.

I hadn’t sucked a dick in a long time.

But fuck, if you’re going to go somewhere weird.

You should be weird too.

I got up, walked over, and sat next to him.

He put his large hand on my thigh.

I’m like five eight and one hundred and ninety pounds. He was like six three and two hundred and fifty pounds.

Was very daunted by his size.

He had an attractive face and I started to get turned on.

He whispered, “Would you like to suck my cock?”

I was like, “All right.”

He unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock.

It was fucking huge.

It was six inches long and three inches wide.

And it was still flaccid.

I picked it up, leaned over and put it in my mouth.

It felt nice in my mouth.

All soft and big.

Licked it all over.

Tried to remember things females did that I liked.

I went deep as I could, but I couldn’t get very far.

It got harder and harder.

But it never got fully hard.

It would have sucked too much blood out of his brain and caused him to pass out.

I liked sucking his cock in that dark theater.

I liked wrapping my fingers around it, feeling that massive piece of sex in my hand.

I sucked and sucked.

Eventually he blew his load right in my mouth.

It was a massive fucking load.

I thought I was going to vomit.

But I swallowed it down.

Sat up, looked at him and smiled.

He said, “There’s some cum on your bottom lip.”

I licked it off and said, “Is it gone?”

He said, “Yes.”

I sat for a minute staring into the abyss. It didn’t look back at me, it just cackled and thought I was funny.

Then the man said, “Take your dick out, I’ll suck it.”

I did.

He moved his head in the location of my crotch and gave me the best blowjob I ever had.

While he blew me.

I watched the movie.

It was two young lesbians making out and touching butts.

I apologized for not matching him in dick size, but he said, “At least you can stick all of your dick in the hole without worrying. The last time I stuck my dick completely in someone they were in the hospital for two days.”

I felt better when he said that.

It still would be cool to have a nine-inch dick.

I blew my load in his mouth.

He sat up.

He swallowed it down.

He put his coat on and said, “Gotta go home. The little woman serves dinner at seven.”

He got up and left.

I stood up and walked to the porn store.

While I was there I noticed a room where several people were sitting.

I went in.

There was a Christmas tree with lights.

A television with news on and free coffee.

Four people sitting there.

They all looked ruined.

There was a female crack whore who was forty-five years old. She was wearing a torn-up Browns coat and a short dress.

She looked like hell and a half.

There was a guy sitting by himself wearing fifties-style glasses drinking a cup of coffee, staring into deep space.

The two other males were sitting at a table together drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and talking.

One was an old guy with a scruffy beard.

The other wore a torn coat and jogging pants.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, sat at a table.

In July of 2003, I was about dead.

Was broke and thousands in debt.

Had blown whole credit cards on prostitutes and vacations.

Had school loans and was constantly horny.

It was open mic night and I needed to get laid.

I drove to the bar.

Was alone, like always, alone.

Other people seemed like aliens to me.

Other people seemed—

Distant.

Unpredictable.

Weird.

Contingent.

Unreliable.

Untrustworthy.

Sick.

Miserable.

Terrified.

Dejected.

Humiliated.

Incorrigible.

Malignant.

Lazy.

Pathetic.

Absurd.

And I also saw all those qualities in myself.

There are a lot of good reasons to be terrified.

There is still no excuse for our behavior.

I got to the door of the bar and waited in line to get my ID checked.

In front of me was a tall blonde. Her hair was bleached.

She was taller than me.

And I found her attractive and unique looking.

She looked terrified.

There might be a human in there.

She got her ID checked and went into the bar.

I got mine checked and went to the bar and got a drink.

I sat at the bar for a minute.

Some zombie came up and sat next to me.

I looked at the zombie and recognized it as my old friend Dustin.

The zombie said, “Hey, you wanna play drums with me tonight? I made up a great song. It’s called “Purple Love.” Its got a Kinks rhythm mixed with Emo, it’s awesome.”