Noah Cicero - The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I

“Don’t go home then. Go to the desert,” Jimmy said.

“I’m already in the desert,” Melissa said.

“Walking alone,” Jimmy said.

“Yes, and forever,” Melissa said.

“You can stay at my house,” George said.

“You live in a group home,” Melissa said.

“I do?” George said.

“George, what happened to you?” Jimmy asked.

“My mother raped me repeatedly when I was little,” George said.

“That’s horrible. You should kill her,” Jimmy said.

“I tried when I got older, then they put me in the mental ward,” George said.

“Where’s my gun?” Melissa said.

“Why do you need a gun?” Jimmy said.

“So I can put George out of his misery. It’s obvious that he’s doomed,” Melissa said.

“We’re all doomed,” Jimmy said.

“Yes, we are,” Melissa said.

“Do you think we will ever see natural sunlight again?” George said.

“We would have to be let out for that to happen,” Jimmy said.

“I’m leaving today, I know it,” Melissa said.

“But where will you go? You’ve pissed off everyone you’ve ever lived with,” Jimmy said.

“I will walk to the desert.”

“The desert is three thousand miles away.”

“I have a good pair of shoes.”

“My mother died, I saw her die, they pulled the plug, and there she lay, dead. My mother, my mother!” David said.

“Did your mother ever stick her finger in your asshole?” George asked.

“No,” David said.

“I’m not dead,” George said.

“No, you’re not. You should be proud.”

“I’m proud to be alive,” Melissa said.

“You’re also a whore,” Jimmy said.

“I’m not a whore,” Melissa said.

“How many people have you had sex with?” Jimmy asked.

“Around forty,” Melissa responded.

“How old are you?” Jimmy asked.

“Twenty-one,” Melissa said.

“You’re a whore,” Jimmy said.

“I’m not. I’m a good girl.”

“You are the death of God,” Jimmy said.

“Shut up, Jimmy. At least I’ve had sex,” Melissa said.

“I’ve had sex, just with people I loved,” Jimmy said.

“You’re incapable of love. You don’t have the ability to create bonds with people,” Melissa said.

“I will one day, I know I will,” Jimmy said.

“I was in love once. She had the most beautiful smile in the world,” George said.

“What happened?” Jimmy said.

“I shot at her, so she left,” George said calmly.

“Why the hell would you shoot at someone you loved?” Jimmy said.

“She was always eating my food,” George said.

“Good reason,” Jimmy said.

“My father shot at me once,” Melissa said.

“How was that?” Jimmy asked.

“I cried for a long time,” Melissa said.

“Sometimes I cry when I think of you, Melissa,” Jimmy said.

“Why would you cry for me?” Melissa asked.

“I cry because I feel sorry for you, because I love you,” Jimmy said.

“You love me?”

“Yes, I do. I find you charming,” Jimmy said.

“Ah… Maybe someday I’ll give you a blowjob.”

“I can only hope.”

“I haven’t had a blowjob in over three years… But I never liked them anyway,” George said.

“I told the doctor I wanted to be free, so he gave me more medication,” Jimmy said.

“Is it helping?” Melissa said.

“I don’t want to be free anymore,” Jimmy said.

“What do you want to be now?” Melissa asked.

“Drunk.”

“I was drunk when they brought me here. I drank a bottle of whiskey, then I went to Denny’s, and picked up everybody’s cups in the smoking section and threw them at this picture on the wall of this one man walking alone in the desert. Then I got up on the counter and took off all my clothes. Then I think the cops took me here,” Melissa said.

“What were thinking about when you did it?” Jimmy said.

“I was thinking about the time my dad threw me into the wall for spilling a cup of Kool-Aid,” Melissa said.

“Why’d you take off your clothes?” Jimmy asked.

“I was going back to the primitive,” Melissa said.

“One time I stayed out in the woods for three days, until my parents found me and sent me here,” Jimmy said.

“One time when I saw my mother at the store and she said hi to me, I went home and cut off my pinky toe. Look, I have no pinky toe,” George said.

“That’s fucking grotesque,” Jimmy said.

“You’re deranged!” Melissa said.

“Do you guys think I’m ugly?” David said.

“Shut up, monkey!” Jimmy said.

“No, you look good, David,” Melissa said.

“What do you think, George?” David said.

“What, where, who, why, when?” George said.

“Do you think I’m ugly?” David said.

“I don’t think about you, David,” George said.

“What do you think about, George?” Jimmy said.

“Right now I’m thinking about when I went to the Marines, and I was doing push-ups. I had to do so many, it was unbearable. I was in Desert Storm, I killed people. It was horrifying. I think about those people a lot too… About their families, if they had kids, if they’re in heaven or not. I think a lot about those men… I killed people,” George said.

“Well, you had to do it… If you didn’t do it, then Kuwait wouldn’t be free,” Jimmy said.

“What do I care about Kuwait, I didn’t even know the country existed before they sent me there… And it sucked there too. It was completely impossible to find a prostitute,” George said.

“But you should be proud. You fought for America,” Melissa said.

“I fought because they paid me,” George said.

“I was little during Desert Storm. All I remember about it was those yellow ribbons everywhere. How come we aren’t putting up yellow ribbons for the soldiers who are going to fight in Iraq?” Jimmy said.

“Because no one believes in this war… I certainly don’t, I’m a pacifist,” Melissa said.

“You’re also a whore,” Jimmy said.

“A whore can be a pacifist,” Melissa said.

“Only in America,” Jimmy said.

“I killed people,” George said.

“Do you think I’m ugly, George?” David said.

“Shut up, David. The only reason you say that is because you want attention. And no one is going to give it to you anymore. So go fuck yourself,” Jimmy said.

“Fuck you, Jimmy!” David said. Then he got up and ran out of the room, crying.

“Thank God that piece of shit is gone,” Jimmy said.

“You’re fucking mean, Jimmy. I’ll never love you,” Melissa said.

“I’m honest,” Jimmy said.

“During high school I had sex with my best friend, Joey Smith… He had a huge penis,” George said.

“I’ve had sex with men too. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Jimmy said.

“I’ve had sex with over ten girls. I love the softness of girls so much, but I love dick, and I can’t leave it,” Melissa said.

“You’re absurd,” Jimmy said.

“Shut up, fag,” Melissa said.

“How can I be a fag, and yet love you?”

“Because you’re deranged!”

“I’m not deranged. I’m a normal, well-adjusted individual,” Jimmy said.

“I can hear you masturbating in your room,” Melissa said.

“I do it for you.”

“I think I love you, too.”

“When we leave here, do you want to drive to Las Vegas and get married?”

“Oh, that would be perfect.”

“I got married once in Mexico to a prostitute. Her name was Leonore, she was a beautiful girl… She wanted to go to America, and work at a hotel as a maid. So we got married and came to America. We lived together for a while, and then she left after I pulled a knife on her and said I would kill her if she ever ate all the ham again,” George said.