William Gaddis - J R

— Yes well of course Dan the ahm, let me see the letter yes I think in terms of the ahm, nothing personal in this of course Dan but down to the bank that is to say we operate under certain regulations ahm, restrictions on mortgage outlays dictated by what you might call the actual construction of the house and the ahm, standards, the standard spacing of the wall studs of course is sixteen inches and yours appear to be ahm, twenty-four, inches apart that is to say…

— But I didn’t know…

— Yes no nobody’s blaming you Dan, we know you didn’t build it yourself it was, of course it was the builder who ahm, who built it of course but the, since the term of a mortgage is related to, dictated by the number of years the house is reasonably expected to stand depending on its, directly related to the way it’s built, constructed you might say, the wall studs having a direct bearing on the part, you might even say actually part of the structure so that of course the farther apart they are in a given space the fewer there are of them because the fewer there are of them the farther apart they have to be placed so that under certain conditions such as a, even the passage of time which is directly related to the term of the mortgage and the reasonable life of the dwelling, if the wall studs were closer together of course there would be more of them which in turn could be reasonably expected to provide a more substantial structure timewise over the time period the, the period of time the mortgage is being amortized and the bank of course, banks that is to say, in order to protect their borrowers in granting these mortgage applications because you understand there’s nothing personal in this Dan, the same thing comes up with other applicants, the banks usel, utilize the safeguards set forth in the building code stating the safe legal minimums for materials and construction in terms of course that’s what building codes are for such specifications as the spacing of wall studs in the ahm, the Hyde house yes I think you have your mortgage with us Major but of course it was built back in ahm, a Cape Cod ranch type split when they were still building those fine old homes back in the fifties yes the sort of home you pass on to your ahm, to his children that is to say his son when he grows up of course if he, if you see what I mean Dan?

— Yes that’s why I was surprised he was moving, the…

— Who was moving Dan, what…

— No I thought you were, aren’t you? That moving van at your house right after lunch I…

— Probably just parked on the street there, nobody around us moving that I know of.

— No, no it was backed up to your house they were carrying things out, a stereo…

— Now wait a minute Dan let’s yes let’s just get this clear you saw a moving van at my look, those houses aren’t all that different even the streets they, probably the same house a street or two over mine has the…

— The eagle yes and that chimney sticking up out of your…

— Ventilator Dan part of the shelter’s generator-driven forced air system that what the hell do you mean carrying things out!

— And a big console television and, is something wrong? I could ride you over, my car’s…

— No no mine’s right out front here I’m, I don’t believe it but what’s happened already today I’m, where my keys… looming, slapping pockets like a man infested — must have left them in the car… and the inside door threatened its hinges.

— Ow…!

— Well get out of the way!

— Yes well what ahm, sorry Vern here, what are you doing out here.

— Me? Nothing Mister Whiteback I’m…

— And what’s all this trash on the floor pick it up, is it yours? And you, what do you…

— I just came to ask when’s rehears…

— There aren’t any, there are no opera rehearsals they’ve been postponed you’ve been told that, even when there are you’re not supposed to wear your costume to school you’ve been told that too, now…

— This ain’ a costume Mister Whiteback it’s my clothes.

— You call tails and horns and, and those reflectors you call that clothes? Your mother know you come to school like this?

— Who?

— Your mother, your mother!

— She’s ugually asleep.

— If you come to school like this again you’ll be sent home to wake her up. Now you, what are you doing here they weren’t supposed to send you down, they said they were sending down that what’s that boy’s name, Percival…

— I don’t know all I saw was Buzzie.

— That’s the one yes the one you call Buzzie, where is he.

— I don’t know, he sat here a second when they brought him in then he ran up the hall there.

— Well why didn’t you, what were you sent down for.

— Well see Mister Whiteback I needed this here typewri…

— Playing with a school typewriter? do you know how much they cost?

— No I wasn’t playing with it see I just had this here thing which I had to type it so…

— You’ll take typing when you get to ninth grade, until then don’t touch one again. Have you picked up all this trash you dropped?

— I couldn’t help it I was just…

— Look ow, sorry Whiteback damn, Dan? still here? Can you give me that ride?

— I’m coming yes…

— My car, somebody stole my car right out front there. You out this way…? they came down the corridor, pulled, pushed the doors — get over there fast but I still don’t believe it… and behind them a hand severed a minute’s remnant on the clock beyond the shelter of the lockers.

— Holy, look what time it is the bell’s going to ring, didn’t they finish that telephone booth yet?

— There’s still this one guy there, boy did you just see my father hey?

— Did I see him he almost knocked me down, here…

— What’s he so pissed off at.

— How do I know he said somebody stole his car here, hold this stuff a second while I, wait quick lend me a dime.

— What do you mean a dime look at all the quarters you…

— I need to make this call what do you think, I’m giving them fifteen cents extra free?

— Who you calling up, your buddy Major Sheets to tell him you got his forks stuck in the freight office which you’re scared to go get them? Boy if Whiteback finds out…

— Why should he, I mean this deal’s all fixed up and paid why should he find out anything unless the freight office calls them about all this here ammunition boy I never heard anything so dumb, I mean you get this rifle association to send you this here free ammunition which you haven’t even got something to shoot it off with boy I never…

— Okay how did I know they’ll send it by freight hey look, there goes the phone guy…

— Give me the dime then will you? he came up the range of lockers juggling his armload wrapped in a battered newspaper, dredging the handkerchief wad from his pocket — hurry up… he got in with the heap on his lap thumbing the pages of Alaska Our Wilderness Friend for a torn envelope with a telephone number, jammed the wad into the mouthpiece and dialed. — Hello…? the door clattered closed — is Mister Bast there…? Who me? I’m his, I’m this here business friend of his is he still at the city? See I have this urgent matter which I have to discuss my portforlio with him to… No I said I have this here urgent mat… he went where…? No but look lady, he… no but holy… no but how could he be someplace accepting some reward see we have this here ouch, boy hello…?

The line rang with three more piercing notes. — Mercy! they could burst an eardrum, hello? I said Mister Bast is abroad somewhere just a minute, Julia? The card that came yesterday with a picture of a mountain, where, hello…?