William Gaddis - J R

— I do smell something, I’m going to look.

— I think it’s coming from outside, Julia. It’s odd how even the faintest smell can suddenly bring the past to life, but we’d just been talking about James hadn’t we, that summer up near Tannersville? when they tarred the roads…?

— These two chickens out here you ordered, they’ve got one heart and three gizzards between them. It makes one wonder when even a chicken can’t, Anne? did I hear you say Edward was coming?

— Julia…? the sound of a siren rose closer, — Julia? I didn’t hear you…

— I said is Edward coming?

— No… the curtain quivered, — all I see is the sun that makes a haze, and the grass looking wet… and the curtain fell still on the soaking lawns where apples laced in the grass hard as stones snared in seaweed imperiled passage toward the road stretching slick as a breakwater before the burst of the siren toward the highway, swept up the rutted shoulders flowing with rivulets into the flattened weeds forming a pool round the extinct washing machine gone to earth in the sanctuary of Primitive Baptist Church where woodbine renewed its attack on the locusts in the next lot, penetrating to the mangled saplings and torn trunks at the forward edge of the battleline fronting a hill of mud naked but for the protruding legs of a chair and the fluke of a toilet seat pointing on toward Burgoyne Street where the sky opened wide for the siren’s shriek that would have flung birds broadcast in the air when there were limbs to fling them from, now merely added a note of cheer to White Christmas already spilling from the bank, of adventure to the elderly venturing from curbs and indoor hostages to Alaska Our Wilderness Friend alike, even of fugitive relief from hopeless combat.

— Pardon…? No I didn’t hear what you… yes I couldn’t hear you a police siren just went by and ahm… oh you did? Yes well of course they probably have more than one ahm… and yes doing a very fine job that is to… I see yes no I’m not calling about your hedge no, no I called once before to… sound like who…? Yes well that must have been someone else I… no I’m no, no I don’t want you to sing the Campbell’s sou… pardon? No well yes of course I didn’t mean to dist… I see yes but I’m calling Mist… no no Mister Bast yes is he… Bast yes, b a… no I’m sorry yes I’m sure you can spell it I didn’t mean… Mister Bast yes, is… oh he has? I see yes when do you expect him to… yes well of course he… yes well I’m sure he deserves it of course he… yes no this is a check yes I called to tell him we’re putting through a new one for the correct amount, I’m afraid he’s been inconvenienced twice now by our… No because yes we wouldn’t want the Foundation to ahm, we wouldn’t want him to give the Foundation the impression we were withholding funds provided by them for our… yes it’s no no not another award no this is in connection with his ahm, his services as composer in… on Mozart’s ahm, a very fine job that is to say yes his Mozart presentation created quite ahm, drew quite a response that is to say from ahm, from other senior citizens that is to say regarding his ahm, regarding him yes as our ahm, our Peter Pan of… Pan yes, Peter he… pardon? Maude yes no I’m afraid I don’t know a Maude Adams of course our present enrollment is… that’s very interesting yes, I… Yes I see but… it is yes but I’m afraid I have someone at the door I… very fine job I’m sure yes well goodbye, thank… Goodbye yes I’m sure they do excuse me, come in…? Yes well no I assure you I have a good many other things to do here I’m…

— I’m sorry I didn’t mean to inter…

— No no sit down Mrs Joubert I’m… pardon? Hello? yes goodbye thank… good yes, bye…

— I don’t want to interrupt you Mister Whiteback, I…

— Yes no it’s a great pleasure to see your ahm, to see you that is to say looking ahm, to see you back looking of course you always look quite ahm, feeling as well as you look that is to…

— I’m quite well thank you I’m just still a little tired, I’m sorry I had to be out but…

— Yes well no sit down we all have our ahm, Mister Gibbs conducted your class that is to say doing a, did a very fine job of course he ahm, some of his…

— I’m sure he did yes I must thank him, I just stopped in now about this eighth grade field trip tomorrow. If it’s…

— Saturday yes well of course there seem to have been some scheduling difficulties involving the transportation since your basketball game takes place on a Saturday and this trip to the ahm, the schedule’s right here somewhere a museum I think it was yes the date was set for a Wednesday but apparently Mrs diahm, someone looked at last month’s calendar and the ahm, this month Wednesday falls on a Saturday that is to…

— No that’s perfectly all right Mister Whiteback I don’t mind the Saturday, all I wanted to ask you see I’m going into town now, and I hoped rather than coming back out I might simply…

— Yes well no that should ahm, now? No no I don’t think they can ahm, here’s the schedule yes they can’t ahm…

— No I meant if I might simply meet them somewhere in town tomorrow, when they get into town? Unless the problem of taking them in on the train is a…

— Yes well of course they’re not taking the ahm, they’re taking buses that is to say the last time we used the train there seems to have been one less youngster coming back out than ahm, yes well that was your trip wasn’t it you don’t happen to remember the number of youngsters that ahm, of tickets that is to…

— I don’t offhand no but, but you don’t mean a child may have been…

— Yes well no we probably would have heard from a parent by now but of course these days you can’t always excuse me, hello…? Yes just a minute Leroy where’s, yes here if you just take this schedule Mrs Joubert you can ahm, I can tell them you’ll meet them at ahm, whatever it says there yes…

— Thank you I do appreciate…

— Yes well thank you for ahm, for coming in Mrs Joubert excuse me, hello…? Yes excuse me I have someone on the other phone here, hello Leroy…? But what happened to them that many, even that many picnic forks can’t just disap… yes but where transshipped where, who auth… I know it said six J yes she just left I meant to ask her what… no well then do they know where the rest of the shipment went that never got here in the first pla… No I know it, I know we never found them in the budget that’s why they must have something to do with the cafeteria lunch program, if it looks like we’re turning down a federal subsidy they might withhold funds like they’re threatening on the milk if this Coke machine’s installed in the… What…? No now wait a minute just tell him to wait a minute Leroy, we… no there’s nothing in the curriculum that calls for brake linings unless Vogel of course ahm, how many… How many? No well even Vogel couldn’t use that many bra… No I’m not coming down to the freight office no, you… no well that can’t… no now wait a minute, what caliber…? No well that’s no, no we don’t even have a rifle club unless of course the government is ahm, yes well just tell them to… no no I don’t want to talk to Agent Teets no just tell him to… no I have someone waiting on the other phone here just tell him to, to hold everything there I have somebody at the door, yes…?

— Is this here rehears…

— There is no rehearsal no! I said you’d hear it announced in homeroom, close the door behind you. And wash your face, hello…? Oh yes no I’m sorry Father I didn’t mean… I saw it yes I was just ahm, just going to call you about it myself could you hold on just a moment? I have another call here I’m, hello…? Gottlieb? just hold on a minute I have Father Haight on the other phone here about the… yes. Hello, Father? Yes about all that fine publicity you had on the blessing ceremonies for your new plumbing facilities of course we… pardon? Yes yes no your new tv facilities of course that’s what I… yes of course I’m aware you have plumb… Yes yes I realize your brother and the Archbishop would have made the front page if it hadn’t been for the accident but of course we didn’t arrange… one of yes well of course the boy was one of our ahm, our youngsters yes but of course the condition he was in when he ran out of the building here was ahm, we… no yes of course we didn’t no he wasn’t ahm, wasn’t in our driver training program that is to say I think one of his classmates said he’d learned from a comic book but of course Major Hyde didn’t… he is on our school board yes Father but I’m sure that had nothing to do with… that he was instrumental in installing your cable facilities yes I’m sure if he promised it would be on the front page he had every intention of ahm, no intention at all that is to say of taking over the front page himsel… as soon as he gets out of the hospital yes Father I’m sure he… I’m sorry your brother feels that way Father, I’m sure Maj… that he’s a retiring general yes I’m sure Major Hyde is aware of that Fa… I will yes Fa… yes yes thank you for calling Father. Hello? Gottlieb? Yes that was Haight on the other line he… no no Father Haight down to the parochial school, he said his brother who’s leaving the Army had made a great effort to attend their dedication and deserved something better than being tucked back on page seven because the whole frönt page was taken over by… his statement about wanting to continue to serve in however humble a position yes that he’s ahm, looking for a job that is to say yes he… Yes no I wouldn’t call Vern about it no I’m sure he wouldn’t want to ahm, he’s so upset about all the blacktopping he’s liable to… just the lawns yes, all… yes well all the trees too that is to say Parentucelli said he couldn’t get his equipment in unless they were out of the way and so of course he… to get the whole job done in that one afternoon that is to say yes so of course when Vern got home he… yes well of course it’s just one of those little misunderstandings like our French doors opening the wrong… yes who Ganganelli? The town board meeting on this Flo-Jan hearing for leasing the town dock yes, they… twelve hundred a year with a five-year lease and option to, someone at the door here, yes?