William Gaddis - J R

— Yes well but I thought that was ahm, this equipment from Major Hyde’s company Vern a subsiderary that is to say stoves, washers, dryers, hair ahm, dryers we’re getting them all for home ec as a…

— Good thing I got hold of you on this Vern, Whiteback can’t keep his communications lines straight sometimes I thought we could check out the budget for the door there, somebody…

— Yes well Dan come in yes, what…

— No I didn’t want to interrupt, it’s not really school business I…

— No come in Dan sit down, just talking to Whiteback and Vern here about your teaching equipment looking for a soft spot in the budget to fit all this into, goes right along with Dan’s sorry didn’t see your foot there Vern, supplements it you might say. Take this Edsel Responsive Envirement runs around thirty-five thousand a unit, that about right Dan? Now you take some of these youngsters, maybe the equipment can respond but they can’t, not fair to shortchange them because of that is it? Bring in these appliances where a washing machine’s a responsive envirement to some youngster for a hundredth the price and we key the human being to, how did you put it once Dan? Key the…

— The individual yes, key the technology to the individ…

— Dan knows what I’m talking about, key the individual to the technology find the soft spots in this budget and we’re in business, take for a start…

— I just saw this shelter item in there Major, how about taking that for a start.

— I don’t think we want to jump right into these controversial areas Vern, still waiting for Whiteback here to get his mobile unit over so these taxpayers can have a good looksee at what’s possible before they make a rash decision they might not live to regret, I’m talking about the frills. Take these telephone booths, how many phone booths are you putting in Whiteback?

— Phone booths? Yes I don’t ahm, we’re not yes…

— They’re installing one right now down past the boys’ room I saw it when I came in, may not look like much but bring in a whole fleet of them you’ve got a pretty substantial item like these, what was it you just found tucked away in the budget here Whiteback? forks…?

— Wooden yes wooden picnic forks no that’s the problem, I can’t find them, nine thousand gross wooden pic…

— See what I mean? Wooden picnic fork it doesn’t sound like much but bring in nine thou, gross? you said gross? Well that’s, nine thousand gross that’s over a million! See what I mean about things adding up now? Wrong time for picnics anyhow, trim a few more items like that we can set these future young homemakers right up in business over in, setting them up in the south annex Whiteback?

— Yes well we’ve ahm, they’ve run into some problems shifting adult ed because the gym’s being cleared for the hobby show so the classes in prenatal care had to be ahm, I had it right here somewhere yes driver training was ahm…

— Just a little space problem Vern, over in east seven trying to fit the retreads into the space the Great Books were…

— I don’t want to hear about it.

— Yes well I think what Vern means is ahm…

— I just said what I mean Whiteback. Don’t tell me things I don’t want to know and I won’t bother you. If I can stand two more years of this I’ll be able to retire, and if you can keep me looking good that long I won’t bother you.

— Yes well of course we ahm, Dan that is to say, Dan here has been ahm…

— It’s your job to make me look good and it’s Dan’s job to make you look good, if he’s just going to sit here making faces I don’t know who can make him look good but…

— Yes well of course his wife is ahm, if we ask her to come in as curriculum specialist of course we hoped she might be a little less active activationwise in terms of this ongoing strike threat yes is that what you stopped in for Dan? You were going to ahm, feel…

— No I can come back later, it’s not really school bus…

— I don’t want to hear about it.

— You’ll hear about it Vern they’re just looking for an excuse, trying to make an issue over firing that young music what was his name, bastard probably cost us half our tv budget with the show he put on for that Foundation team. Had any calls from them on him yet Whiteback?

— Yes on ahm, Bast you said Mister Bast yes not from the Foundation no the Senior Citizens of course have ahm, are quite put out but…

— What did you expect with this open-circuit setup, you’ll see them down at that referendum in wheelchairs they…

— Yes well apparently they were looking forward to a lesson on Edward MacDowell in connection with their therapy cutting ahm, he seems to have mentioned cutting out paper dolls and of course a music union called threatening legal action against us because he played a note on the piano and he’s not ahm, not a member that is to say of course he has a right to ahm, in fact I believe some civil liberties union is preparing to defend his right to free speech but…

— If he dares to show his face after that performance I’d just like to get hold of him and…

— I’ve been trying to yes, get hold of him that is to say call his home again to tell him we’re preparing a new check, I understand he stopped by for it late yesterday but the computer had misplaced the decimal and made it out for fifteen dollars and ahm, fif…

— Fifteen dollars more than he’s worth but if you don’t get that straightened out Whiteback the whole community’s going to blow up, this trouble Dan’s been having with his holes Vern…

— That’s really something I don’t want to hear about.

— Yes well of course if that’s what you stopped in to talk about Dan maybe some other ahm, of course I thought you might have some word for us about this strike threat in terms of your wife’s ahm, I think you were going to feel your wife’s ahm…

— He doesn’t have to feel her anything, if they want to strike let them strike.

— Yes well I think what Vern means is ahm, in terms of the ongoing situation at the curricular level Dan’s wife is…

— I just finished telling you what I mean Whiteback, it has nothing to do with curricular anything. The function of this school is custodial. It’s here to keep these kids off the streets until the girls are big enough to get pregnant and the boys are old enough to go out and hold up a gas station, it’s strictly custodial and the rest is plumbing. If these teachers of yours strike just sit still and keep the doors open, by the time these kids have been lying around the house for a week their parents will march the teachers back in at gunpoint.

— Yes well of course I don’t think the police would excuse me, hello…? Oh, yes send him down to my office in fact you better have someone bring him down yes he… yes thank you. One of our drug ahm, our pupils that is to say I understand his older brother was severely wounded in the ahm, that he’s a veteran yes so this boy seems to have access to a variety of ahm, in fact I think he was sent down in this condition yesterday but of course since he’s ahm ahm, in terms of the enrollment integrationwise that is to say we’ve made every effort to encourage his attendance of course his record is somewhat ahm, Dan? That’s not what you, you had some school business you said yes is that letter something you, something we…

— No no it’s my, it’s not school business no it’s just my mortgage, my application to refinance my mortgage, I didn’t mean to take school time just for…

— Yes well I don’t think Vern would…

— No go ahead Dan, go ahead. You sit here picking your nose on school time why shouldn’t you talk about your mortgage on school time.