William Gaddis - J R

— This looks like a picture of a, a nun cutting up a frog.

— What? What’s that. There’s no caption on it? I gave this top priority… he stabbed at the console, — make it clear we’re backing your educational effort with these youngsters getting a foot in the door of this whole field of visual literacy and they send up pictures with no captions as though Eigen? Hello? Where’s Mister Eigen… At lunch? now? What man from Thailand… no just tell him to call me, is somebody typing the captions for this Annual Report story…? can’t find what…? No, just tell Mister Eigen to call me.

— All your pictures look very nice Mister Davidoff, I’m sure you can select…

— Now this one here, we have to have Crawley of course but we’re angling your story more along the lines of the share itself, corporate responsibility to this one, must have been when Crawley was picking up the coins one second, I’m expecting a call from Washington, Senator Broos hello…? No tell him I’ll call him back now there, that one’s not bad, not bad of Crawley but it looks like that pig is climbing in the window over his shoulder wait, here’s my call now, hello? Senator? Mollenhoff? What does Mollenhoff want?… No that was his memo to me not my memo to him… what? Wait a minute… He was pushing buttons as though playing an instrument — who? No this isn’t the maintenance department… Hello? Where’s that call I had in to Senator Broos? Miss Bulcke? Who’s this? Eigen? What’s this about somebody from Thailand… Taiwan? No, that’s a Chinese medical relief group he was supposed to come over for the fifty cent tour before lunch, did you check his hotel?… No a donation, just take him out to lunch and tie, one, on, I said tie… never mind, look. This Box speech for Gandia you’ve got a delicate situation, you’ve got the defense minister Doctor Dé and President Nowunda both up there on the platform, work them both in but so one of them can come out at the last minute… Yes it’s top priority the General’s in Bonn waiting for it now, one of us may have to go over there and spoon feed it to him we can’t have him pull another one of those Plato rhymes with tomato… Oh Mrs Joubert? Wait you don’t need to leave, just a couple of brush fires but you can tell your dad when you see him what it’s like tending the store here with no executive officer on board. They’re typing those captions up now, if we run out for a little lunch we could look over the whole package when we got back there’s a little place…

— Oh I’m afraid not Mister Davidoff I, that’s why I must leave now in fact, I have to…

— Don’t worry about it I’m too busy to leave the shop myself, we’ll just get something sent in… he had the phone again. — Oh Miss Bulcke send out for a couple of, what would you like? The ham, cheese…

— Honestly I haven’t time Mister Davidoff, and I’m…

— Just cancel that Miss Bulcke and oh Miss Bulcke, while you’re on there get hold of Colonel Moyst, he can begin cutting orders for me for a week, make it a ten day TDY for Germany and, just make it Europe and Africa, CIPAP, they’ll have to give me a field grade equivalency rating, Colonel, probably a GS sixteen I’ve got to have CIPAP or I might as well stay home. Now… Empty-handed, he stood knuckled under at the desk, — that one’s better, a little less of Crawley and we can touch it up to get that pair of horns out of his here, this one’s better, you’ve got your stock certificate right up front and center the kid though, too bad we didn’t get a kid up there with a haircut and a sweater that wasn’t ripped down the, let’s see this one. Same kid. Same kid seems to have pushed himself into all of them with the stock certificate, he…

— He has been sort of, this boy’s been sort of acting as a class secretary on our…

— Wait, wait! Up came his hands framing nothing — look. It fits right in. A share in America, right? And these kids, this kid here, that must be a pretty what you’d call culturally deprived area where you’re teaching? Well anyhow we can play up the wait… His hands dropped scattering pictures — looking for, no blacks? I don’t see any blacks in any of these, don’t you have any blacks in your class? he swept them together again — don’t worry about it, we’ll make do one second, this must be my Washington call. Hello?…? No it’s not. He stabbed buttons. — What happened to my Washington call, Senator… what? he stabbed again and began to pace — hello? Senator…? Oh he’s not? When will he… At the end of the cord he paused, his back on the room — well just get him this message then, confidential. Background for handling the press on this Gandia thing playing up the angle of the US getting in bed with the USSR, China, Albania and the rest of them on it, he can talk to Frank Black at that end on the canned editorial content side, capture a what? Me? Davidoff… Davidoff, d, a, v, i… well tell him I called for Mister… hello? Hello?… He walked back to the desk, cleared his throat as he hung up the phone. — Yes, we’ll want this boy’s name for the captioning… he looked up, and then stabbed at the console. — Miss Bulcke? Is Mrs Joubert out there? has she… probably just went to the ladies’ room, the… who? Who’s this, Carol? Hyde who… Well what does he want with… what appliances… Oh. Well tell him to talk to Mollenhoff about it… Oh, well if he works for Mollenhoff why did Mollenhoff tell him to talk to me about it… Oh. Well tell him I’ll talk to Möllenhoff about it, is he right there? Put him on the blower Carol and stay on yourself, I’ve got a couple of brush fires that… Carol?

— Yes sir he’s right here… she leaned across the litter to cradle the telephone and reach a button on the far side of the desk, drawing the figure looming behind her forward till her skirt stopped just short of revelation. — Mister Hyde this is Mister Davidoff, she recovered, pointing at the speaker beside the spilling out basket.

— Yes hello Mister, Carol? turn it down, you’ve got some feedback in there that’s bursting my…

— Hello, Mister Davidoff…? He followed the course of the stocking seam again and remained sagged over the litter toward the speaker as though seeking recognition in its face. — I’m…

— Hyde? Get further back from that speaker we’re running into some feedback, I’m topside in the chief’s office tending store here can’t get away right now, you’re in sales? over in Mollenhoffs stable? Good thing I got hold of you I just had him on Carol while you’re on deck, you still on deck there? Pull Mister Eigen off those captions tell him I’ve just come out of conference on it, rethinking the whole feature in inner city terms culturally deprived black slice of the corporate pie probably need an airbrush on some of those pix too Hyde? still with me? Mollenhoff can’t keep his communications lines straight good thing I got hold of you on this, Justice Department on our tails this vertical integration policy’s the big must right down the line, bending over backwards keeping our skirts clean if he’s handing out that appliance inventory on a tax write-off tell him our legal boys switched the game plan clearing the whole thing out through sales till we get the loud and clear from Justice on Carol? While you’re on deck get hold of Miss Bulcke on this TDY she’s lining up tell her to make sure CIPAP includes commercial travel authorized means I’ll need a field grade equivalency that’s colonel or better get this other call, the Senator call me back on that line? Must be on this other line, heeep…

— I guess he signed off Mister Hyde, is there anything else?

— Ahhh… he got upright, — better see if you can get Mister Mollenhoff for me.

— Yes sir. She found a company directory in the litter, — is that Herbert B? or is that…