William Gaddis - J R

— But I don’t, I don’t know what you…

— Because she took her own life! Nellie your mother she took her own life! When he wouldn’t marry her, when James wouldn’t marry her and she wrote a will she made him your guardian and he told Aunt Julia, he told them both afterwards he’d married her secretly so the scandal wouldn’t hurt my father, now can you…

— Oh excuse me, Mrs Angel? I’ve talked with the doctor I think everything should, are you all right?

— Yes I’m all right! I, I’d like a glass of water.

— Of course yes let me, here, here you do look quite…

— Thank you. Now what is it you want to discuss Mister Coen.

— Yes well of course, of course this matter of the estate Mrs Angel but you’ve both been under severe strain and these are hardly ideal circumstances to discuss it in fact the nurses’ supervisor just told me this room may be required momentarily but I did at least want to counsel you both, pending resolution of your own differences, that for the moment an appearance of family solidarity should be maintained in the face of the impending court decision in this old JMI suit, since I believe whoever emerges with controlling interest in General Roll must expect a rather fierce confrontation from them on appeal. In fact this was the reason for my attempt to reach your aunts directly as I mentioned earlier, having just learned that their attorney Mister Lemp has been dead for almost sixteen years I’m trying to help resolve their other affairs here and hope to recover six or seven cents on the dollar for them in the liquidation of their broker whose…

— Wait who Mis, Mister Crawley? What do you mean liquid…

— His firm yes, straight liquidating bankruptcy, as I think I’ve already told you your aunts’ account was severely diminished when he began to buy and sell as rapidly as possible simply to generate as many commissions as he…

— But he owes me, he still owes me four hundred dollars he said he’d send the check what if, would they take his bank account?

— I can’t say Mister Bast, perhaps if it were a personal account you might still, excuse me. Nurse…?

— Joe bring in a chair to take Mister Bast down to the front door, you signed everything for him didn’t you Mister Coen I have to hurry you out, we need this room immediately and Joe? Hurry right back it has to be scrubbed everything including the Venetian blinds, if she recovers we’ll probably have to paint it too.

— Joe wait, wait that wastebasket…

— Please Mister Bast we’re in a hurry…

— So am I! No just those papers on the top…

— But what…

— Because it’s all I’ve got! Look I don’t need a chair I have to get uptown to see if that check’s there, I can’t wait for…

— I’m sorry Mister Bast it’s a hospital regulation and Joe, move that chair out she hates green and you’ll have to change the curtains, she’s one of the trustees we had her in once just for a tubal insufflation and practically had to rebuild the whole wing.

— Mrs Angel here let me get your coat, I hope one of you will be in touch with me as soon as you’ve been able to discuss Mister Bast’s position in this entire…

— There’s nothing left to discuss! There’s nothing left is there? Stella? No, no I’ve failed enough at other people’s things I’ve done enough other people’s damage from now on I’m just going to do my own, from now on I’m going to fail at my own here those papers wait, give me those papers…

— And Joe tell the kitchen she’ll bring her own silver and have her food brought in from outside, her maid will bring her jewelry and makeup and send in her hairdresser just see what color curtains we have, she’ll send her maid out to Saks for a negligee and the color…

— You’re finally leaving us Mister Bast, you’ll miss our Christmas tree. Come back and see us…

— Yes well thank you for, for everything… the wheels spun down the corridor, swerved for the ponderous approach of a bed mounting an inert figure massed under sheets and veered through the bull’s eye doors for the lull of the elevator, the swing of glass doors. — Thank you Mister Coen goodbye and, Stella goodb…

— I’m coming with you.

— Why what for! we don’t…

— For Jack. That’s where you’re going isn’t it?

— Yes but, all right I’m going up here for the bus if you…

— A bus don’t be silly, Mister Coen could you call us that cab please. You can reach me at home when anything develops.

— Of course yes Mrs Angel any change in your husband’s con…

— I don’t think we need wait for that do we? If my acting for him presents any problem, I’m sure under the circumstances you can draw up papers enabling me to do so?

— Why, why yes if you…

— And incidentally yes there’s no need to bother my aunts any further is there, surely my husband’s interest in the company together with my father’s estate is sufficient majority for any decisions I come to? this old lawsuit you mentioned for instance, I want the judgment on it the moment you learn it so we can act appropriately without any delay in fact, Mister Coen, on the chance it goes against General Roll you might begin to get material together for an appeal I don’t intend to see it lost, I think that’s all clear?

— Why, why yes Mrs Angel of course yes, yes here let me get the door…

— And thank you again you’ve been terribly helpful. Driver? we’re going uptown, it’s on Ninety-sixth Street isn’t it Edward?

— Yes it’s, it’s between Second and Third yes, Ninety-sixth between Second and Third driver… he squared the pages loose against him at the lurch of the cab, knees tight holding him forward to the edge of the seat looking out as though aware that his back, the back of his head was being looked at, looking down as abruptly as the knee crossed under his elbow, crossing his own.

— Is there anything you can do about those trousers Edward, we could certainly stop and get you something and a coat, you haven’t even a coat…

— No! I’m, I’m fine… he thrust the pages away pulling, tucking at his waist, paired his knees again coming forward — did you know that he, my father did you know he was coming back?

— I suggested it to them.

— Oh… he sat hunched to the window there staring at the massive side of a truck where five dwarfs heralding None Of Us Grew But The Business moved ahead, fell back for a hatless woman blowing her nose, U S Mail, Dumor Delivery Service, a brown dog muzzling glass.

— I didn’t hear you.

— Nothing I didn’t say anything…! a bus bullied passage, fell away for Department of Correction, the woman wadding her handkerchief now, Ace Photo Service, Emergency — this next corner… National Casket Co, XL Cab — driver…?

— You still don’t understand do you! You think he, that he knew what would happen? the courage it took for him to go on facing the…

— Driver! it’s, it’s up behind that ambulance…

— Where’s all the ashcans out front?

— That’s it yes… he brought the papers close coming forward for the door — right here, yes… he was out, holding the cab’s door open. — You’d better wait here till I see what’s…

— I’d intended to.

— Yes well if he’s, if Mister Gibbs is up there what shall I tell him you want.

— Nothing. Nothing! no you won’t understand will you! that your own selfish suffering’s easier than facing suffering you’ve caused and can never call back Edward don’t you think I, Edward? Well you will…!

He caught balance as the door was pulled from him in his turn between the burned car hulk and the ambulance backed open at the curb, clattered through doors to linoleum mounting two steps at a time — sorry…! he backed down a step, two, turned to wait at the foot as whites took shape descending, filling the narrow stairs.