William Gaddis - J R

He’d come forward freeing his hand to drop between them and scratch, to rise and wipe the frayed edge of the sweater’s sleeve across his nose and leave the lip trembling there turned toward the inert profile jolting between him and the dirty pane where the trembling lip tightened at the abrupt encounter, where the eyes hesitated as though caught by a passing gleam in the near darkness beyond — okay don’t even listen then…! he hunched back, thumb snagged back at a nostril — if you don’t want to even hear this letter where you get to go to this here banquet for helping out the arts and all, I mean where I went and fixed up this big grant to play this here music you’re always yelling about after all I did for you boy, what did I do with it… and the portfolio pocket tore a little farther. — It gives us great pleasure to like there’s this here other one too for where we gave out all those old Nobili drugs down at Asia so Davidoff writes right across it be glad to stand in for you on this one if Mister B is otherwise occupied, I mean how does he know maybe I want to go to this here where does it say it, this Brothers Keepers banquet and accept this award it’s mine isn’t it…? The thumb dug savagely — like everybody’s always going to all these banquets I never even got to go once…

The train shuddered to a halt, moaned at the platform, jolted the silence beside him moving on with — you want this rest of this here cupcake hey…? and he crammed it away, dug the sneaker toes tighter to come up cantilevered and scratch — his dedication to the traditional ideas and values that have made America what it is today… he came down brushing crumbs from the tattered magazine page. — A quiet, soft voiced rather modest man who looks out from a calm impassive face and beetling brows, with deep set eyes that have such a startling clarity which makes them seem almost hit, hypnotic. They have a blue steel chill about them that suggests an austere, indrawn indwellingness. But they can sparkle with an engaging warmth and the bulldog set of his jaw breaks in a boyish grin when asked about his youth… he hunched closer to blow at an icinged crumb, — ful, youthful surroundings and the influences that shaped his formula for successful marketing bluntly expressed in a recent interview as, simply, what works. As the moving force behind his publishing subsiderary’s slash in textbook prices and the, the ubisomething new children’s encyclopedia as well as a sweeping breakthrough in education about to be announced by the parent… his thumb rose to burrow, his free hand traced back up the lines to — a calm impassive face and beetling brows… he sniffled and looked up, edged forward to peer past the form rocking beside him to the window mirrored with dirt and the darkness beyond lips shaping — beetling brows… and the eyebrows gathered in a wince, widened with — a blue steel chill… as the train gasped to halts, moved on, — but they sparkle with what did it say…? and the eyebrows went up and down desperately projecting — engaging warmth that was it, and the bulldog set of his jaw… the narrow chin thrust forward, came up, protruded like an exhibit of orthodontic despair, all of it giving way suddenly to a face beyond the glass thumbing its nose from the platform. — Holy, we’re here holy shit wake up hey Bast wake up!

— What what…

— Quick wake up we’re here they all got off boy that wiseass, hey wait we have to get off! Quick get your stuff…

— Leave it there I don’t…

— You can’t leave that hey! wait hold the case together…

— Here let me get your shoulder I don’t feel very…

— Hey wait we’re getting off! you okay hey? Boy it’s cold wait a second… he squared his armload sheltered behind We kick ass yours too as the train receded into the desolation of the evening, paused again at the breadloaf inscribed Father Haigt eat’s it to mash streamers of paper into the portfolio and tug at its zipper — boy if there’s one thing I really hate it’s the wind you know…? They reached the concrete steps, came down them. — You okay hey? I mean can’t you carry some of this stuff I have to stop at the, holy shit it’s closed look the candy store, it’s closed!

— Don’t want any candy where’s a cab.

— No I mean the paper I can’t get the paper, I mean now how are we suppose to we know what happened at that court thing and that underground…

— I don’t care what happened where’s a cab!

— There’s not any there’s not even buses hey wait up, I mean didn’t you hear what happened? where this same new bank from the city which took over they called Gottlieb’s loan which he couldn’t pay it off so they seize his Ace Transportation assets which that’s both his cabs and all these school buses I mean it’s this same bank that wait where you going…

— Where do you think I’m going I’m…

— No but wait up… leaves swirled behind him, rushed past in the street where the sweeping lights of a car hurled his shadow over the figure mounting the curb ahead — hey Bast? I mean it’s this here same new bank from the city can’t you even listen a minute! It’s this here new branch of one of these same banks that’s screwing us too I mean they never lose these banks don’t, I mean where we’re getting screwed Crawley’s getting screwed everybody’s getting screwed except these here banks they never get screwed, they’re always in there getting this percent of everything I mean I should have thought of it my… he stumbled, — I mean I got all this stuff I can’t hardly see where, hey…?

A car passed joining their shadows in a leap, flinging them aside to raise the shell of the Marine Memorial ahead in crumbling detail — I mean some bank getting some bank I should of thought of that by myself hey? Like where this newspaper just said the parent company I mean that’s me, how the parent is going after this SSS Savings and Loan with these big cash reserves that’s how I thought of it ljust saw it in the paper, like where the paper’s always saying the parent this the parent that I mean that’s me the parent! See I hardly got started hey once we get things fixed up I had all these plans… his teeth were chattering — I mean like banks we could have these different kind of banks like this regular bank and these blood banks these eye banks these bone what, where you going…

— Have to sit down I, I feel like I…

— Wait get back up here where there’s no wind hey… he stumbled against the crumbling edge of the Memorial’s shell — let me put this stuff down where we can wait you going to sit here a second?

— Yes I, I feel diz…

— Okay because these here tapes you got ljust remembered, I mean we can play them and boy this here nice attaché case I got you you really let it get busted up where’s my, I can’t hardly see what’s wait a second I left one in here…

— ca’s all about and holds everything together because nothing works unless, there’s something in it for somebody, so the…

— Hey this is a tape I made there’s this eighth grade at some orange place at New Jersey buying this here share of America where they wanted this here speech I thought you could, hey? you want to hear it?

— No!

— Okay we better do these others first anyway these batteries are real weak where’s your, when this car comes I can see what I’m doing they think they can screw me out of everything boy I hardly even got started what’s the, this thing’s suppose to fit right into wait I got it in backwards once we get things fixed up boy this whole health plan thing we franchise it out and that whole Endo deal when we find out how much all that goodwill is worth and like Wiles said we have this here friend at Chase Man there, listen…