William Gaddis - J R

Film cans crashed as he got a foot against 24-One Pint Mazola in ascent — probably have to go through every God damned box in the place… but he got no further than and the first book he took from it, slowly settling back up there turning unhurried pages motionless till he reached for the bulb strung overhead, rummaging occasionally for a cigarette and reaching the top of a film can up for an ashtray, turning page after unhurried page till he started up abruptly snapping the black covers closed with an emptied cigarette pack thrust in at page 149—never should have called him back Christ, tell him Grynszpan’s taken cyanide… he stretched across QUICK QUAKER, — hello…? the what…? It was John Adams yes what the… what…? Look I don’t… look God damn it I don’t want a free dance lesson no, goodbye!

The second hand rose from NO DEPOSIT and swept the vacant arc to descend to NO RETURN — whole God damned day gone… he sank down on H-O, reached the blue folder, — out of cigarettes can’t be… he was up again rummaging pockets, — out for something to eat probably work better at night anyhow all these God damned interruptions, she can’t be back before Christ! He was back at QUICK QUAKER, reached up to dial, — Tom? Yes listen I… Ninety-sixth Street yes listen just realized there’s a phone up here, told you I gave her your number there when she calls you can… No I know she can’t be back yet but… what you knew Bast had a phone put in here…? No wait look if you’re doing that just have all your calls transferred to this number, anything went wrong now I’d… Haven’t even been out to eat up here all day working yes, hardly get through one God damned sentence people at the door phone ringing gets calls from every… no just trying to help him out sounds like he has about twenty part time jobs left here this morning with an armload of music Indian headdress God knows just trying not to think about it, I… Fine yes read you some of it right now if you… what? Oh, no well not, not yet not exactly I didn’t mean actually writing no can’t find the God damned typewriter, thought we’d brought Schramm’s in but… going over this first part again yes read you some of it right now if you… yes I know it Tom but… know how many times you have yes but I’ve made some changes thought you might… know I said that too but… look I know it but God damn it I can’t without my notes, spend half the God damned day up here looking for my notes so much stuff piled up by now the place is like Kafka’s… what this last load of yours? Hasn’t come yet no thought it was going back into Schramm’s no place left here to put a… no just out for something to eat haven’t felt too God damned well either I… really? Which tooth is it… Sounds more like a nerve dying not a God damned thing you can… know it yes hard as hell to concentrate on any… know it yes not a God damned thing you can… know it yes look I’ve got to get off go out and get something to… Who said that your lawyer or hers…? that you have to pay her lawyer’s fee too just part of the God damned system nothing you can… no I know she’s the one who pulled out look Tom… I know he’s your son yes but… look from now on you’ve got responsibility without authority, whole thing’s like driving the back end of a God damned hook-and-ladder downhill at night I’ve got to get off Tom I… who? Well what the hell did you think he’d… know what a fatuous bastard this German publisher is what the hell did you expect, look I’ve got to get something to eat working up here all day haven’t had anything think I can work better at night anyhow and wait listen, this phone call… Well she might, anything went wrong now I’d cut my… know it yes look I’ve got a good root canal man if you need one just… two or three hundred depends on the tooth, let me know if you… know it yes won’t keep you on, goodbye…

The door brought in a cascade of mail swept through with a foot, the last pieces kicked in from the hall as he got it closed against the lull of falling waters broken only by occasional peals of the phone until it shuddered in again, hung open behind the flap of sandals past the tub and 200 2-Ply, dump of mail and the bag shaken over it at the sofa where motion came down stilled against

— prompt temporary relief by reducing painful swelling of…

The peal of the phone convoked 24-One Pint Mazola and NO DEPOSIT NO RETURN, Moody’s, H-O, Musical Couriers and lampshades, paper bags, Appletons’, 500 Novelty Rolls 1-Ply White and the collapse on the sofa alike, abandoned them to

— Alsaka Development working day and night to bring the American family its full share of the world’s energy. Alsaka. A proud member of the J R Family of Companies. When you see a product. A service. A promise of human betterment for all. If it’s J R. It’s just right. J R. An American family of American com…

And the flap of sandals took up from the dark, the mail bag dragged empty past 200 2-Ply out the door left hung open on the tub’s three gallon a minute torrent to the sink’s two.

— Thought I closed the God damned door, Bast? Anybody here? What’s her, Rhoda…? He got it closed, in over mail to the sofa where he dropped a paper bag — get right back to this before I, get it done Christ published it ten years ago it would have where the hell is that light… he got the punctured lampshade, yanked, dug in the paper bag for cigarettes, — now. Where the, where was I tripods of Hephaestus no back at, millions here those God damned millions here. And while those millions saw where they were marching much as Mark Twain saw them through a glass eye, darkly, the, what, what the God damn it… He reached to shake the lamp, the light came on again, — much as Mark Twain saw them through a glass eye, darkly, the one, the good that’s it yes the good the good eye could now peer into hell’s that pencil, the good what damn it God damn it! Must have loosened the God damned plug when I, well Christ! Just look at the God damned thing and it comes on again what was I, get through one sentence get through one God damned word this way… The longer hand lapped the shorter, the arc went dark — could have cleared up the whole God damned thing tonight first God damned peaceful no, can’t be no middle of the… he was up, — might be no she might be back…

He was through to QUICK QUAKER — yes hello? to who…? Bast look God damn it Mister Bast isn’t here what do you… what? from Mister Bast? I’ll accept it yes operator where… Bast? Where the… look no Akron’s in Ohio not Indiana middle of the night what the hell are you doing in… No no it’s all right damned good thing you called I’ve been… what? Yes I’m listening what… nobody named Crawley no but I’ve had… wait you forgot to tell who what…? Want the tape sent right down to him when it’s finished fine, what tape… All right I will yes be sure to, listen I’ve had this Pis… no no this Piscator of yours had him on and off the phone here all day says your company’s stock’s being hurt by pressure on some big loans they’ve got out against some government R and D contracts with this Ray-X division rumor there’s a… Whole point look I don’t know somebody called this morning sold them the whole inven… No I, Grynszpan yes Grynszpan stopped by just helping out said he’d sold their whole outdated inventory to… what I’m trying to tell you no idea what it is just said inventory, Piscator says may take some pressure off this Ray-X some Senate subcommittee starting a feasibility study looking into cost overruns on these contracts has your boss trying to head off rumors these lenders may force his stock into a voting trust protect their old loans and these new ones he just… Well damn it Bast I don’t know that’s what I’m asking, maybe trying to get in under the wire with this Erebus deal pick up their tax loss offset rumors some textile mill losing its loss carryover if it goes out of production town takes over for a park and speed… Eagle yes said there was some class suit shaping up over the way your boss converted his preferred to common to get control look Bast if you can just tell me… hasn’t called here at all no Piscator says he’s been calling the press reading them statements on these oil and gas leases you’re securing on some Indian res… Well damn it Bast I wouldn’t have either thought you were just sitting up here writing music can you tell me what the hell is… explain it all someday fine meanwhile how the hell shall I… Bast damn it look how the hell can I use my own judgment if I don’t even know the… I’m not angry at you no damn it look you’re welcome but can you… my work? Been on it up here all day yes going fine going pretty well I… of plastic what? Hardly hear you… wait get to whose funeral at noon, Bast…? She’s not here no wait get to whose… I will yes but damn it wait she… what? Wait wait what bus is leaving, Bast? Bast…? Good, Christ! He came down, a film can followed to crack open on the floor and send the roll merrily unfurling before him, came to grief at H-O where he sank for a moment — get it done Christ could have cleared up that whole first part tonight… and he reached under the dark of the punctured shade, made the sofa and pulled the blanket up, crooked an arm over his head against the torrents beyond and, nearer, the trickle of