William Gaddis - J R

— Bast? is that you man?

— Yes what in…

— I mean look at this, came from the billow rising over the tub where only her face and knees protruded, — like I mean real sudsing power look…

— Yes well be careful it’s getting on the mail what, where did it come from…

— Like all these plastic cups Al found them hanging on the doork-nobs but with these sample boxes attached so he had to bring them in too look out man…! A head emerged from the billow between her knees, — like it’s splashing out…

— But you mean you, he just went around and took them off all the other apartment doors?

— Why not I mean we really need cups but like I dump a box in the tub to throw it away and this happens I mean real sudsing power like the box says man, like I mean do you want to get in?

— Not, not right now… he got his box in safe atop 500 Novelty Rolls 1-Ply White, dragged two more packages under the gushing sink and lifted the door closed, in past the tub with his case to find the sofa’s length occupied by one the shape of a guitar and, on the floor beyond, — what’s this pile of mail back here?

— Like Al just got this postman job for like before the holidays man, I mean he just dumped it there when he came up to sleep off this high.

— Well look it can’t stay here and, and this big yellow box where did…

— Like that’s your golf practice set man, I mean they just delivered it.

— What golf practice I didn’t order any golf prac…

— Man like how does anybody know who orders what here, I mean these presents you get from these businesses like this lamp made of this old parking meter and these deluxe barbeque tools man I never know what’s coming through the door, like right in the middle of I’m getting stoned with this spade cat that comes in to tap your phone and they come to install this Telecopier and like there’s the telephone again, I mean all it does is rings…

He got back past 36 Boxes 200 2-Ply, — wait Al I’ll get it… and he braced a foot, reached up to Round Pkgs QUICK QUAKER to bring the phone down to his unencumbered ear, — hello…? No this is Mister Bast, who… B S who…? Yes well J R himself isn’t here right now no, who…

— Quit splashing man like are you getting in or out.

— Oh B F? Leva? Yes I’m sorry Mister Leva what… what? No I’m sorry I don’t recognize your name Mister Leva what… Erebus Productions? No, what…

— Wait hold still man like I never saw this little wart under here before, does that hurt?

— Yes well I don’t go to the movies very much so…

— Like this little vein looks like it’s going to pop man.

— Oh, oh yes well… yes I heard you yes selling at one sixty-eight but he hasn’t said anything to me ab… that you might be interested in making a deal I’ll tell him Mister… what? Girl? no where…

— Man like how come you never got circumcised?

— Oh you, oh you mean you have a picturephone too…? No no I, I see you up there now yes well goodbye Mister Leva thank…

— Oh wow… a splat of suds ran down 24-One Pint Mazola New Improved.

— Probably yes probably a crossed cable somewhere yes goodbye I’ll tell him to call you goodbye Mis… I don’t know if they can trace crossed cables no, good… No goodbye Mister Leva I can’t hold on another minute no…

— Wait like I need that shirt man what are you hanging it on there for, I mean like that won’t stop it ringing…

— Because the man who just, because other people have picture-phones too and no wait Al look would you mind just not standing on that mail to dry yourself?

— Floor’s like real dirty man.

— I know it but, well look spread out a newspaper or, here… he got across to lift the door open and drag in the monogrammed doormat, — there…

— Like Al brought up his guitar, man.

— Yes I saw it… he got past her for the refrigerator, — wait who put this in here what, stuffed breasts of Cornish hens à la Kiev…

— Like somebody sent it to you man but like it says oven ready your oven’s full of mail so like it says keep refrigerated I mean where do you expect me to put it.

— Yes but right on these stock certificates it’s melting all over them and this look this is the only place I can keep this manuscript paper clean… He crumpled the top sheet and took some from the stack in to open his case on Hoppin’ With Flavor! pausing to take out the list of titles and add scribbled notes from an inside pocket before he spread a fresh manuscript sheet on the top volume of Standard and Poor’s Corporation Records, — damn it! crumpling that abruptly — look these are brand new, look there’s oil all over it…

— Like those little mushrooms man they’re packed in all this oil.

— I know it that’s what we’re using Moody’s for that red book now where the, where are all my pencils… he came up from the floor with a battered nub — damn it, what…

— Like Al was just helping you out trying to sharpen them for you man, came from the doorway where she tugged at a sleeve — I mean that electric coffee grinder somebody sent you like he thought it was this electric pencil sharpener I mean he was just helping you out…

— Yes well listen will you tell him to just, I just want to finish this while it’s still in my head, just to get this last horn part written out would you hand me that ink? And he turned with it from her reach that gaped the open shirt to find a pen and spread a scribbled sheet of score, settled on Hoppin’ With Flavor! licking the pen nib bent over the empty staves where his pen came down pausing, arching, blacking in, pausing as his face drew closer down lips parted, meeting, parting on bleats of sound gone in mere breath and the pen stopped as toes approached the score along the spine of Thomas Register of Manufacturers and clung with a prehensile twinge at plunk… plunka plunk… — Look Al I’m sorry but I’m trying to…

— Man like don’t be sorry I mean go ahead…

— Yes but your guit…

— No like go ahead I mean I’m for like everybody doing what they want to man, plunka plunka plunk…

— Look you don’t understand I’m…

— Like why not man I mean that’s how it ought to be like everybody doing what they want to do man, like I mean I’m for everybody doing what they want to do, plunk plunk plunka… — like I mean what’s that.

— What.

— Like that arrow you just made.

— What this? It’s a diminuendo don’t you, you read music don’t you?

Plunk — like why do I want to read music man I mean I play music, like that’s what music is isn’t it man? I mean I play my own music what do I want to like read it for.

— Oh.

— Man like I play what I feel I mean not what some other cat writes for me to feel… plunk plunk plunka — like I mean I’m not one of your cats that has to sit down and play what some other cat hears I mean I make my own sound man… plunk.

— Yes well, fine but look I’m trying to…

— And like Al says he might bring the Gravestone up here to practice like only they can’t get a booking because they don’t know anybody like you just have to know somebody, I mean like maybe you could help them out man you know? Like I mean anything you want you always can get it because like you know everybody but like anything they get they have to like get it by theirself you know?

— Yes but, no but even if that were true I don’t think any connections I might have in music would…

— What because their name’s the Gravestone? I mean like you ought to change that anyway man like you can’t just keep going around being this Gravestone that doesn’t know anybody you know?

— Then like come up with one…