William Gaddis - J R

— It is cutting things a bit thin, and I believe we must still review the status of…

— This Ritz Bright Leaf outfit don’t worry about it, just tell your principals the Boss is sitting tight on it as a tax loss while this USDA experimental program gets off the ground still labeled secret but he wants me to discuss trade names with you as soon as it’s checked out with Senator Virginia where’s that call we’re putting through to Senator him on the phone there?

— No it’s the room service did somebody order kippers?

— Probably Mooneyham over there keeping his thirst up, doctor trying to get him off it sends him to five movies a day he’s seen so many dirty movies he’s gone right back to Virginia tell him you want his glass for a refill and get some coffee into him before Mister Ten-forty shows up, call him that because we got him through some computer management service working on a book on measurement Skinner wants for his spring list Virginia? Tell Skinner to bring that trade list out with him putting through his paper order now reminds me Beamish the Boss said anything to you about recycling that back inventory at Triangle?

— No but I believe…

— Must plan to sell it off novelty rolls and all then his last memo he wants that big water tower painted to look like a giant roll of toilet paper even did it himself with orange crayon on an aerial view we’d sent him wanted to make sure there were no legal objections.

— No but I believe the residents in the immediate area of the Triangle plant would hardly welcome the spectacle of a giant roll of…

— Don’t worry about it then one thing I don’t argue with those pieces of lined paper handwritten one end to the other comes in here I just tie up my pantslegs he wants solutions not problems…

— Mister Davidoff excuse me sir but that is why Mister Duncan is here. In the haste attending the parent company’s eagerness to resolve the status of his firm in the course of acquiring Triangle Products, some confusion appears to have occurred between…

— May speed things up to get Skinner out here for a rundown the way these legal boys make twenty words do the work of one get Beamish here going with his whereifs and whereases been here talking for twenty minutes and we’re still right over this way Mister Duncan oh and Skinner don’t have to introduce you to your old head of sales do I Duncan let him give you a runthrough and I’ll fill in the gaps.

— Gosh…

— Brought Skinner on board when I left Diamond Beamish, he had a management contract offer from the bank Duncan here set up as trustee tied in with a token hundred thousand dollar option to buy and all Skinner can come up with is joint tenancy in a piece of a three or four million dollar company out here in Long Island City having some reorganization problems got their lawyer coming in later to show you his figures, this woman Skinner just married picked up five percent of it in her divorce settlement putting that up as security for this J R Corp loan to pick up the option and meet the full purchase price out of future earnings probably what’s on Duncan’s mind here…

— I just want to get fixed up and get back to…

— Yes Mister Davidoff please, we must interrupt this and get back to…

— Don’t worry about it, see what it’s like running the store with nobody on deck to put out these brush fires Time spread says we’ll lose our shirt see why Duncan here’s worried about future earnings wants a look at the, where’s that trade list comments from your topflight name critics and all, noses a little out of joint when they trip over topflight talent but that’s par for the course call this wallpaper Beamish?

I CHOSE ROTTEN GIN The story of a disillusioned Communist, who

had not the courage to go against the party.

… so ostentatiously aimed at writing a masterpiece that, in a less ambitious work, one would be happy to call promising, for such readers as he may be fortunate enough to have…

— Glandvil Hix

OI CHITTERING ONES A serious work which urges us to lay aside our fears and realize our true strength.

… the outside world of American life is described so imperfectly and so superficially as to make us feel that the novelist himself has never known it…

— M Axswill Gummer

THE R I COONS IGNITE Violence in a small southern community, the racial question delicately and faithfully dealt with.

… nowhere in this whole disgusting book is there a trace of kindness or sincerity or simple decency…

— S T Erlingnorf

TEN ECHOES RIOTING A delicately evocative novel.

… a delicately evocative novel…

— B R Endengill

… a literary event, of sorts…

— Newsleak Magazine

THE ONION CREST G I A rousing war novel, adventure with a tough talking sergeant from Wisconsin (the onion state).

… does not persuade us that it is based on any but a narrow and jaundiced view, a projection of private discontent…

— Milton R Goth

… another long and rather dreary saga of modem man in search of a soul…

— Baltimore Sun

THOSE NIGER CONTI Lusty romance with the Godzzoli family in love and the Italian secret service in Egypt.

… a complete lack of discipline…

— Kricket Reviews

THE TIGER ON SONIC A killer in provincial New England trapped by the brilliant deductions of the author’s popular armchair detective, Mr Ethan Frome.

… a really yummy read…

— D O’Lobeer

— I confess the titles are quite catchy ones indeed Mister Davidoff, however we…

— Still working one up for this new book on measurement by our Mister Ten-forty went right out and picked up a new suit with his hundred dollar advance and these Haight memoirs, Skinner brought in a topflight name writer to get the General off Virginia try to reach Mister Gall, promised us a new Western himself called The Blood in the Red White and Blue as soon as his play goes into production may have to pull him off the General to give the Boss a hand on this full length bio he wants to bring out, thinks his own success story may rub off on the company and vice versa when he takes the jump into public life sharp eye for a deal but he can use some help on his spelling Virginia? Get hold of Mister Gall? He ought to be in here by now with that Indian pageant script and call the desk, find out if they’ve seen those two Indian boys better look in the bar tell them to page the Brook brothers oh and Skinner bring out one of your standard author’s contracts you know what a stickler the Boss is for the letter of the law Beamish, wants to be sure there’s none of your legal doubletalk these writers can horn in on the advertising end…

— I doubt there’s any reason for concern there Mister Davidoff, I believe these matters are left in the publisher’s hands and so long as a book is advertised in good taste and…

— Not of the books in the books Skinner get out one of those layouts for…

— I beg your pardon you don’t mean actually carrying advertising matter inserted in the text of the book itself? There may be no contractual objection however in terms of…

— Whose ads don’t worry about it, end papers and centerfold go to the J R Family of Companies coming up with the rest from the agency’s accounts preference anywhere they tie in with our products and services take Ray-X subcontracting on this line of prosthesises where’s Skinner, just told him to get that Health Package layout see how they tie in with this nursing home funeral service cemetery deal…

— No no Mister Davidoff excuse me I believe you mistake my point. Contractual obligations aside sir, surely the arbitrary insertion of pages of advertising bearing no relation to the creative work of an author who…