William Gaddis - J R

— Hello?

— Other people have help Willie but I’ve always had to get everything with my own two…

— Miss Bulcke? which call is this…

— This is the operator may I help you?

— Yes just get off the damn line. Shirley…?

— We have a crossed line again Mister Beaton but both your other calls have finally come through…

— When I take them to court I’ll have to represent myself…

— Damn it Shirley hang up and try Stamper in his car.

— Hello?

— Yes hello I’m calling Mrs Joubert, it’s rather urgent…

— And come in here and do something about this damn trouserleg.

— Just a moment yes she was right here I think she just passed the, Dan? The door that is to say, Dan can you look out there for Mrs Joubert? Tell her it’s urgent yes, hello? Just hold on please yes someone’s gone to get her…

— Your other phone there Whiteback, probably an award from the Legion of Decency.

— Yes thank you hello? Yes this is the bank ahm, bank phone yes… Yes no back not law Whiteback, yes this is Mister… who? Mister Beaton? Yes what can I… oh. Oh…? Oh… Outstanding shares yes well of course this recent unahm, fortunate publicity in terms of the ongoing situation loanwise has ahm… Yes well no even if we were receptive the state banking laws would excuse me for a minute, Vern if you can move your foot there so she can…

— Mister Whiteback…?

— Yes come in Mrs Joubert this phone here, they say it’s urgent…

— Thank you… hello? Oh Miss Bulcke? what… She came to rest along the desk’s edge, — no no that’s quite all right, I’ll just hold on till he’s finished…

— Yes let me move these papers Dan maybe you could ahm, excuse me I have a call yes, hello? I’m sorry yes go ahead Mister… the state banking laws yes even if we were receptive to… Pecci Mister Pecci yes and doing a very fine job, he… Oh you do…? Oh you, are…? Mrs Pecci yes she ahm, of course we ahm… Yes well of course we weren’t aware anyone ahm… In the nature of ahm, of a gift that is to… yes no not something we care to publicize of course we… Yes well in that case of course we might be receptive to… yes well of course any reasonable ahm offer that is to… to stay on in my present capacity of course yes I… Oh I see… Yes I ahm, I see… Yes well in the field of ahm, of education of course I… Oh in Washington? Yes well in that case of course I… As soon as I can reach him yes, yes yes thank you for calling yes goodbye, Vern maybe you could let Mrs…

— No that’s quite all right Mister Whiteback I, hello? yes…? And where she drew her hair back it fell again to hide the tremble of her hand, — but how could, how could the school have simply let him drive Francis away without even… No no but doesn’t anyone know where they… No no no I told you he’d mentioned Geneva! by the time you have a court order they… No but isn’t there anything else you… What Uncle John can do! hasn’t he already done enough? Haven’t all of you already, done enough…! No I, I don’t know… I don’t know…

— Mrs Joubert is everything ahm, here let me hang that up for you…

— No please I’m all right…

— Yes and you’ve met our District Superintendent, he just dropped in to ahm Mrs Joubert’s sixth grade social studies Vern, I’d like you to see the way she motivates these yes in fact right behind you there Mrs Joubert, some pictures just came in I knew you’d want to see right behind you under those clippings somewhere yes in fact you may want to usel, utilize them on the televised portion of your lesson tomor…

— No but, but you can’t mean, these…?

— Right under there somewhere yes I know our Superintendent here would like to see what really happens on those field trips…

— No I’m afraid you don’t…

— These will show you how she really motivates these youngsters Vern, a really meaningful learning experience yes do you want to just hold them up there Mrs Joubert? show the Superintendent here how you’ve been getting across to these youngsters what ahm, what America’s all about? Just a little modest Vern she ahm…

— Mister Whiteback I’m afraid I, I’m afraid I don’t feel well I…

— Look Whiteback I don’t want to know what America’s all about, just get her to the nurse.

— No please I’m quite all right I just…

— Yes well of course she might Dan you might just walk Mrs Joubert up to Miss Waddams’ office where she can ahm, of course she can’t lie down there though can she the ambulance hasn’t come yet for the ahm, the baby and its ahm, the baby that is to…

— I’m all right really Mister diCephalis, thank you…

— Yes well thank you for coming in to show us your ahm, coming in Mrs Joubert Dan you might just keep an eye on her down the hall there she did look a little ahm…

— Maybe she got in on these pregnancy sweepstakes you’re running, Whiteback. She’s certainly a better looking piece than that dried up little blonde who’s got your coach here up on assault charges.

— Yes well Vogel of course ahm, of course he was unaware he was really approaching the girl’s mother who seems to have been coming to school dressed as her…

— Her daughter yes, in other words if he’d shown an eighth grade girl where the horse bit him everything would have been fine. Put that together with these five pregnancies and your newspaper here would name him Father of the Year.

— Yes well the newspaper story on these pregnancies was all simply a mistake since we’d ahm, a mixup in the laboratory that is to say since the samples we’d sent to be tested for drugs got mixed up with some that were there to be tested for…

— If you’d sent them there for that in the first place you wouldn’t have had this scene in the girls’ washroom just now, newspaper called yet?

— No but of course they still seem to be occupied with this ahm, the tragedy of this little retarded…

— No problems at all then have we, Glancy and this Vogel story and your stag movie and everything else pushed off the front page when a narcotics agent shoots down a simple-minded boy with a cap pistol and everything’s fine.

— Yes well no apparently the boy caught him by surprise and of course the agent’s trained reflexes were ahm, yes excuse me hello…? Yes this is the bank’s, oh yes this is the bank? Yes… his name is Cibo Mister Cibo yes, as of yesterday his signature is required on all of Catania Paving’s checks yes he… as president of Catania Paving yes he, hold on my other phone is… Yes? hello…? Oh Gottlieb yes I was going to call you about… yes no we may not have to call your Ace Transportation loan at all no, I just had a call from ahm, a feeler that is to say from ahm, that could save the bank from ahm, wait let me finish this other call yes, hello…? No it’s c, cibo yes you’ll find the signature in the Cia Management account… Gottlieb? hello? No that was just the bank calling about this man Cibo who’s just… In labor relations and vending machines yes he’s just bought a third interest in Catania Paving from Parentu wait a minute, hello…? Mister Parentucelli yes I was… I just spoke to the bank about your Mister Cibo yes he… the Coke machines in the cafeteria? Yes Mister Cibo said something to me about… yes but you see with so many youngsters buying Coke our entire federal milk subsidy is in danger of… Yes I know Mister Cibo’s just as interested in the kiddies’ welfare as I am but… to Mister Pecci’s campaign yes I know he is but… Yes of course I agree people like a hero but… Yes I have another… yes but I have another call I…

— Come in Major, you and Dan here getting up an act together? Might call it the two white crows…