William Gaddis - J R

— Yes well Coach is getting a little bit ahm, I mean I certainly wouldn’t say it was a small accident in terms of the ahm, the person you ran into wasn’t from, yes who ran into you that is to say wasn’t ahm… he led on past a clock as it severed what remained of a minute and a bell sounded, — from Cleveland of course…

— No what I, wait, wait why is everything so, all the halls are empty. Wasn’t that bell homeroom?

— Yes well things are a little off this morning Dan the ahm, Mister Gibbs is taking homeroom and it seems to be, he seems to be reading the entire declaration of the United ahm, United States Constitution that is to say… and the door marked Principal swung open lightly, bunged hollowly closed behind them — and of course classes can’t start moving until he ahm, my telephone…

— shall, without the consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other…

— Hello…? No he just walked out, who… What mystery what are you wait, he just walked in, Whiteback? Student librarian calling you about some wait a minute what is this, a joke?

— No no it’s ahm, come in Dan let me get the… hello? Yes this is Mister Whiteback have you… The Constitution yes, the U S Constitution, I told you to look in… who? What’s Charlie Chan got to do with… no no no I said history, a history book, with an h… Yes it’s c, o, n, s… all right look for a pencil…

— except treason, felony, and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest during…

— Didn’t know they’d let you out of the hospital Dan, it looked like somebody trying to make a fool of me with that sling and the bandages over your…

— t, i, t… tution yes, I want to know how long it is so we’ll know when classes can start to… American yes, American history…

— Article one section seven. One. All bills…

— Yes I thought you were still in the hospital too, I…

— Mister Hyde stopped in to discuss the school budget defeat Dan, we just excuse me… hello? Yes this is… what? Oh Mister Stye yes, about the stolen baseballs yes and the… one adding machine and three typewriters over the weekend yes… Yes well that’s not really a school ahm… he paused for the muslin wing flapping before him, — I think Mister Hyde wants to speak to you himself, he… yes he’s right here that is to say… and the phone cord swept papers heaped to the floor.

— Hello, Stye? Say I just found out my insurance policy is, wait a minute. Can you reach the button with your good hand there Dan? turn off the sound on that crazy, yes hello? My policy yes… Yes with your company, keeping things all in the family, the… automobile yes, the… Oh you have? Yes the accident with diCephalis and… oh you do? I just got out this morning and… fine, if you call one arm in a cast and bandages all over my… Of course he’s still alive, he’s sitting right… Right, head on, that’s right, they… no I was in his car when my car came around the… no I wasn’t in my car, I was in his car when my car came around the… right, and hit my car, I mean his car head on, right, the whole… how the back of my car got damaged too? No that was something else, driving out here I stopped by the side of the… Well of course I was in my car when I drove it out here, how do you… Now wait, wait, let me start at the beginning. My car was stolen right here in front of the school and when I… What keys… No, before I drove out here my car was in a garage where they… in New York, yes, where they must have taken my address off my license and made duplicate keys for every… What do you mean? Because they walked right in the front door and carried out all three televisions, the washer, dryer, stereo, sauna, both slide projectors, the short wave… No, the reason the watch is on a separate claim is because it was a separate incident, I was driving up the… yes in my car, yes! I know it’s hard to… Well all right I know it all sounds…! No, when the claims adjuster from your company came up to see me in the hospital I gave him all this information and he… Well how could I give him complete descriptions without saying that every one of them was… what? What do you mean I… Well what do you mean it sounds like my testimony has racial overtones, how could… All right racial undertones, could I help it if every… All right could I help it if… what? What if they did find my keys in the ignition, it’s my car isn’t it? wasn’t it? Look you’re supposed to be my… No but your company is supposed to be my… No, I told him that happened when I was driving out here, I stopped for a light and a car pulled up beside me full of… what? Ripped it right off my wrist yes, before I could even… Trying to make the whole thing sound like a what? Look I’m not shouting but could I help it if…

— Get the phone, it’s sliding off the…

— Could I help it if every one of them was a… hello?

— Hurt your head Dan?

— No it’s, it’s all right I’m, I was just trying to pick up all these papers…

— Hello? Are you… who?

— I’m sorry, I squeezed the button when I caught it and…

— Who the, how did that happen. Somebody calling you here, Whiteback. He must have hung right up in my face.

— Yes excuse me, hello? This is Mister… Pecci?

— He tells me I’m imagining a conspiracy and then hangs up in my face, how do you like that.

— Yes no Mister Pecci isn’t here no, no he should be here in a… in the newspaper this morning yes, the smear story that is to say, of course the… no your name wasn’t mentioned, it just said the Town Board yes, the… yes Ganganelli, call Ganganelli, he… who? No, no Glancy hasn’t shown up, no we thought he was out sick but they said his car isn’t standing in his drive where he usually… oh he did? Yes well we’ve had some inquiries about it down to the bank, all bills he was sure that he’d paid yes, he showed me the stubs but the checks have never come in for payment, of course his wife had withdrawn nine hundred and eighty-three… Mrs Glancy yes, she… yes well of course I should be talking about this on the other telephone here, the line to the bank that is to… yes no don’t call back, no, call Ganganelli…

— Did you hear that Whiteback? Tells me I’m accusing them of a conspiracy and then hangs up in my face, what did I tell you that day he was in here. Not a word out of him, he just sat there taking it all in, am I right? Look at their face and you don’t know what’s going on inside, am I right? Talking about racial overtones, whose insurance company does he think he’s working for, am I right Dan?

— Maybe he meant, when they take you to court maybe he meant you should…

— Take me to court? Who’s taking me to court.

— Well I heard, I think I heard Buzzie’s family was…

— Taking me to court? I’ll take them to court, what do they think they, you saw that kid Whiteback, one look at his face and you could see he was so hopped up before he ran out of here…

— Yes well of course the ahm, communityrelationswise that is to say we ahm, excuse me… hello? Oh, yes Gottlieb just called, yes, I told him to call you, he… Yes no simply because he was sitting on the Town Board when you presented the Flo-Jan offer to lease the town dock and he thinks they’re trying to make some connection between him and ahm, the loan, the connection between the bank’s directors and the unsecured loan to ahm, to embarrass us down to the bank that is to say, he… what? No not that loan no, yes no of course that suggestion of seizing the assets if his Ace Transportation defaults on its loan is just an attempt to embarrass me as ahm, seizing the school buses that is to say, as a… to Pecci yes, Mister Pecci, of course as he said in his statement anyone who tries to serve the public must expect smear stories but… in public office yes but of course the attempt to embarrass me as… yes no I’m not running for anything, no…