William Gaddis - J R

— Well I, I don’t know, I…

— You better get back to making faces at yourself in the mirror. When are we going to see your nose again?

— The doctor said I should leave this bandage on until he thinks I’m…

— Does he think you can get up here and do a little roll playing? A skirt went to the floor, hose peeled down to a wad and followed. — What’s all this stuff.

Calibrated pencil, linen counter, tape measure, string, — things they took out of my pockets at the hospital, they put them in a…

— Well can you get them off the bed? My God, like doing it on the counter in Woolworth’s, here’s another of your pieces of paper.

— Oh I’ve been looking for…

— General Electric Credit Corporation? If you have made your past payments regularly, you have established a valuable saving habit.

— No that’s from the payment on the washing machine, I didn’t mean…

— Don’t break this worthwhile habit. Your dealer will deliver the appliance of your choice today my God no wonder you’re in such a mess, you hide money in drawers and save it by spending it, now they want you to save some more by buying something else, you’re all crazy… Elastic snapped, something shapeless black flew toward a chair. — Nora can sit there and Donny can sit over there.

— What for.

— What do you mean what for, so they can see.

— See what.

— See what. What do you mean see what. See us.

— See us, what…

— See us what! My God what do you think what! Unless you’re going to keep on those pants with the rip all the way down the crotch, what do you think what!

— No that, happened in the accident but…

— All right just forget it.

— But did you really mean…

— I said forget it! where pearled nails suddenly bit deep, — if that was Miss Moneybags you’d have your face in it! You’d have your, get away from me!

— But…

— I said forget it! If I ever thought we could show these kids something beautyful I should have my head examined… and up, heels drawn abruptly nestled in the rough as though preparing el modakheli, — the things they do in India! My God look at you… where the struggle rose between shirt and sling, a shoe dropped and — you don’t even wear uqderpants like other men do, they come to your knees… an end of the inflated belt encircling her where she drew breath deep and held it as around her movement slowed to the tearing of envelopes, rustle of paper, silence, tap, tap, tap… Cinched upright, nipples standing pebble hard, she turned slowly. — What are you doing!

— Oh nothing, nothing I just…

— Nothing! What do you mean nothing! You’re crawling around on your hands and knees tapping the wall and listening! You’re crazy! Or you’re trying to make me crazy aren’t you. Aren’t you! I’m going to call the police.

— No you don’t understand, I’m just…

— Don’t understand! I understand you’re crazy, what are you doing down there! You think there’s somebody in the wall?

— Mama what’s the matter.

— Shut up and go back to bed Nora, ask your father what’s the matter!

— Daddy what’s the matter.

— He’s crawling around on the floor with his measuring tape making little pencil marks and tapping, that’s what’s the matter! Tap, tap, tap and he listens, look at him. Go ahead do it again, show her, drive us all crazy.

— No but I just…

— Don’t tell me that’s not what you were doing, I was watching you.

— Can we call the police Mama?

— Shut up and go back to bed Nora. And you, just stay on your side of the room… she slid upright and disencumbered herself, — my God, and you talk about the things they do in India. And leave that light on! You think I’m going to lie here in the dark when you start in again? And I thought it was bad when you just made faces at yourself, you’re probably doing it right now under the bandage where I can’t see aren’t you. Will you turn off that light? You think anyone can sleep with the whole place lit up like Coney Island…? and somewhere the clock took up its occasional tries at striking the hour till morning made a tentative approach as though uncertain what it might discover. — My God, can’t you get up and make them something to eat? do I have to do everything in this house…? doors banged, the toilet held a round of flushing, smoke rising from the toaster lay a blue pall down the hall and the morning still lingering outside appeared to have decided to stay there, dwindling to the gray of afternoon. — Now what is it Nora, my God can’t Mama spend a day resting without everybody going crazy? Go tell Daddy to make you a peanut butter if he can do it without burning the house down, close the door and turn down that television…! and finally the gray yielded to dark, the clock made another try at striking the hour, missed, waited, tried again unheard, again, until the alarm stung the silence into another sunless day. — You’re making faces again aren’t you.

— What? oh I…

— Well what are you doing hiding in the closet.

— No I’m looking for some clothes, I just…

— Why don’t you put the closet light on then.

— I didn’t know you were awake, I didn’t want to…

— Awake? Could anybody sleep with you banging into doors like that? What are you doing at that end with all my dresses.

— I’m looking for something to wear, I can’t…

— Pull up your underpants and you’ll look nice in the green one.

— No a suit, I can’t find a suit, if you sent them all to the cleaners I can’t get one out before school and…

— Who said they went to the cleaners.

— But where are they then.

— Nora took them to the Thrift Shop.

— The Thrift Shop? My suits?

— How do you think she got her Brownie points? If you think…

— No but my suits she, how could you let her just take both my suits and…

— Because you were supposed to go right down and buy them back.

— Buy back my own suits?

— Yes buy back your own suits, who else would buy them. For two dollars each you couldn’t help your own daughter earn six Brownie points? She thought you could go down and buy them right back, was it her fault you went to the hospital instead?

— No but one was, one cost sixty dollars, the gray one with checks and the brown one, the brown one was only a year old, suppose they’ve sold them.

— So don’t tell me tell your daughter, tell her the first time she goes out and shows some initiative that just because you…

— But what am I going to wear!

— I just told you, pull up your underpants and you’d look…

— But even my slacks, there were some blue slacks back here and they…

— Those you could have had for a quarter. So where’s the suit you wore for your joyride, wear that.

— You saw the tear down the front of the pants, and there’s blood down the…

— Then wear Dad’s. He’s not going anyplace.

Doors banged, water flushed, splashed, shook the pipes, desultory notes of the saxophone rode out through the room divider on shifting planes of smoke from the burned toast.

— It’s too big and it smells.

— So roll up the pants and don’t go close to anybody, they’ll think it’s the Duke of Windsor coming back Nora get that wire away from Donny’s juice.

— Nora, that eighty-five cents you said Donny got for the…

— There! my God I told you, well don’t just sit there Nora get Daddy a rag. So now you want Donny’s eighty-five cents?

— No but it’s really…

— Really what. Really the first time he ever Nora not that rag, my God look what you’re doing to the pants, that’s the one you just cleaned the jelly off the floor with. The first time he ever shows some initiative to do something you want to take that away from him too?