William Gaddis: Carpenter's Gothic

— What I'm telling you Liz, what I'm trying to tell you. Work for money means you've got some respect for it, he just wants it to show his contempt for anybody that works for it, anybody trying to do something, trying to put things together, build something like your father did we both know that's what it's about Liz, what the whole God damn thing is about. I came in there your father could see I'd go in and do the job, that I could step in and size things up, see the big picture and take a few risks to bring it off everything your God damn brother will never do, won't even try to that's why he's still getting back at me, getting back at your father, getting back at anybody who's trying to do the job just get out of the hole here. Get that alimony load off my back they've scheduled the hearing, that should be any day now just these bills, all these God damn bills… He raised the glass and brought it away, pulling a hand over his mouth — tell me how I always get this glass with the chip in the rim? Liz?

— What.

— I just asked you the, problem I just think you don't really listen to me sometimes, don't really get in there and back me up trying to tell you what I'm trying to do here, trying to put the pieces together your God damn brother in there pulling them apart I'm getting things going Liz, three or four things I've got a spade in here from Guinea says he's in parliament there, polo coat grease spots down the front of it he's got the State Department sending him around to look at prisons and broilers, get their prison system out of the tenth century and set up broiler production may have to take him out to Terre Haute broiler farms and a big federal prison right down the road work it in with this other big client, big drug company's got these animal nutritionists from Europe want to see pigs, Terre Haute's got to be pigs get them out there and show them the pigs and this Ude, this Reverend Ude you said called? Nickel and dime radio station going right into nationwide television global coverage he's already moved in on these African missions, spread the gospel get things moving he's already got this Voice of Salvation radio station right out there Liz, old stamping grounds move in take a few risks and bring it off just get out of the hole here, all these God damn bills here look at them bank loans, storage, travel cards, Diners Club American Express lawyers doctors, ask what we do with the money that's what we do with it, one visit two hundred sixty dollars for one visit that's what you…

— I can't help it Paul! If you, do you think I like it going to doctors? Like going to, like you going to restaurants? Plane tickets, car rentals motel bills hotels that's what all this is do you think I…

— Look, just once. Let's try to get this straight just once, Liz. I'm trying to get something going. You don't get something going over a ham sandwich and a beer. You don't take the Greyhound bus and stay at the Y when you're digging up new accounts. You don't nickel and dime unless all you're after is nickels and dimes and you won't even get those now look, I've got a couple of…

— Put it out, Paul.

— What?

— The cigarette. Put it out.

Instead he swept up his glass and turned abruptly through the doorway, in to stand before the empty fireplace drawing smoke, blowing it out, staring back at the wet rag on the wet floor under the stairs. — Liz…? He threw the cigarette smoking into the grate. — Got to do something about this God damn toilet. Liz?

— What.

— I said we can't live like this. Try to live like civilized people your brother comes in here pisses all over the floor we can't even…

— All right! Just leave it, I'll clean it up just leave it.

— Anyplace he goes, somebody cleaning up after him every God damn place he goes. You clean up, Adolph cleans up that's all Adolph's ever done is clean up after him. That car wreck in Encino? and Yale? He's kicked out of every school he gets near so they buy his way into Yale, you know what he told me once? that they'd held him back in eighth grade because he was such a great hockey player? You know God damn well why they…

— Paul what's the point! You shout at me, Billy shouts at me as though I could do anything, as though I'm to blame what's the point! It's almost over, a few more months he'll be twenty five what's the point of…

— The point Liz, the point is he ought to be locked up, he ought to be locked up till he's twenty five or he'll never be twenty five. The point is this trust brings in about five percent, Adolph says he can't invest for income what about Grimes? He sits on the board of the bank that's co-trustee doesn't he? One word from Grimes, do you think he'd say one word for any of us? with Billy in there? that party they found Squeekie passed out naked in your father's bathtub when she was fifteen do you think her father's going to raise a…

— Oh Paul that was a story, that never happened it was just a story that somebody…

— That Edie, she's Edie's sister isn't she? Isn't that how we knew, from Edie? after your father called Grimes? You think Grimes would raise a finger for any of us after that? Adolph can't invest it for income he has to invest for long term growth, one word from Grimes to his God damn bank it could be bringing in twelve percent, fifteen, you think he'll say it? With Adolph handing it right out to clean up after Billy, that Indian Mexican whatever she was Adolph paying her off and this Sheila, buying a ticket to get her and her guitar and dope and mantras and the rest of her Buddhist junk on a plane to India, long term growth what long term? Some next generation that's going to look like a God damn zoo? Billy out there sticking it into anything that walks and Adolph right behind them pulling down their skirts and paying them off so they won't put a monkey in the family tree and we can't even do that, we can't even…

— Paul it's not my fault! It's, it's not my…

— I didn't say that. I didn't say that Liz. I didn't mean…

— But you did you do! You always do you, I go to the doctor every time I see a doctor you blame me for the bills even the plane crash, you even blame me for that you…

— Liz stop it…! He put down his emptied glass, coming round the table. — How could I blame you for the plane crash.

— Well you do. Every time we go to bed, that lawsuit you started against them with mine every time we…

— Liz don't, look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…

— You're always sorry, you always, no don't. Don't, just give me that napkin, don't you're messing my hair…

But he came down, closer, his breath stirring it, — Liz? Remember that first time? after that funeral? When I leaned over in the car and told you I was crazy about the back of your neck and…

— No please… she pulled away, cringed lower, his hand on her bared shoulder — you're hurting my…

— Well what the hell are you wearing this thing for! He was back out of reach, a hand out for his glass, — you haven't worn it since summer.

— But what, I just…

— Show off your bruise? Sleeveless thing to show off your God damn combat badge to the neighbors and anybody who…

— I don't know any neighbors!

— And your brother what about your brother, your…

— I said I'd bumped into a bookcase. When do you want supper.

— A bookcase… He held the bottle over the glass, held it the way he poured drinks, two handed, one holding the bottle up and away against the other forcing it down, forcing the neck down over the glass, and — a bookcase, he muttered again at the sink for a splash of water, turning past her through the doorway. — Where. What bookcase. Will you show me one God damn bookcase? Everything else here but a bookcase it's like a museum, like living in a museum. Liz…? He'd got as far as the door and he turned on a lamp there, something Japanese under a silk shade that cast the reflection of his unfinished face in the glass-framed sampler hung above it. — Did that agent tell you when they're getting this stuff out of here? Liz?