William Gaddis: Carpenter's Gothic

— The usual? came to borrow money? How did he get here.

— Well he, he just showed up, he…

— He always just shows up. Did you lend him any?

— How could I Paul, I've only got nine dollars left from…

— Good, don't. Any calls?

— Yes just now, Mister Ude? He said he'd call back.

— That's all?

— Yes. No I mean there was a call for Mister McCandless, it was somebody from the IRS Paul when can we get this phone thing straightened out, all I do is answer these calls for…

— Look Liz, I can't help it. I'm trying to get a phone put in here under a company name, as soon as the…

— But when they shut it off in New York the bill was over seven hun…

— That's why I'm putting it under a company name! Now God damn it Liz stop pushing me like this the minute I walk in the door, you'll just have to put up with it. Hang up on them, now look what about your brother. Will you see what the hell he's doing out there?

— Maybe he's trying to fix it, the car I mean, he…

— He couldn't fix a rollerskate. I've got to get that thing fixed, this God damn bus what was I, half an hour late just now? Traffic backed up all the way down 9W to the bridge there.

— On 9W? Was there, was everything all right? I mean…

— What do you mean all right, I just told you traffic's backed up for three miles, police cars wreckers the works… He'd turned from the kitchen doorway to the one opened under the stairs. He snapped on the light there, — Liz? Look don't let him in the house again, just don't let him in. He doesn't know how to live in a house, he doesn't even know how to flush the toilet when he's…

— No wait Paul wait! I told him not to it's stopping up again, don't…

— Well Christ…

— But I told you not to…

— Too late yes, it's all over the God damn floor.

— Paul wait, Billy…? She was up for the door, — Paul? I'll clean it up, Billy what…

— Come out here a second Paul? We might get this heap started… He let the door go without waiting, was down on his back on the broken stone of the apron. — Starter's jammed. Paul?

— Wait a minute…

— Reach in and turn the key when I get under here.

— Wait a minute Billy wait! The whole God damn thing's tipping, this little stick of wood you've got it jacked up on, you can't…

— Can't wait or I won't be able to see anything… he was already halfway under, bootheels scraping the leaves, the broken stone, — ready?

— Wait… The car swayed, he stood back from it reaching in, licked his lips looking down at the dumb angle of the wooden block, the denimed swell of ribs creased under the rocker panel.

— Well turn it!

He stood off as far as his reach allowed, turned the key and stepped back. — My God it started.

— Turn it off!

His hand darted in to the switch, he stumbled back over boots, over knees all coming upright. — Probably torn some teeth off your flywheel, the starter gear hits that dead spot and just spins.

— Well it, anyhow the God damn thing starts.

— Probably sheared your starter gear too, get a new one put in or it can happen again, happen any time… Wind from the river caught their collars up, brought down a burst of half yellowed leaves from the maple tree on the corner there. — Thanks, Paul.

— What do you mean thanks.

— Man like I'm thanking you for this good karma you just gave me that's all, I mean you give somebody a chance to do you a favour and that helps out their karma for the next time around, right? So they ought to thank you, right?

— Look Billy don't try to push my, I didn't ask you to do it did I? Crawl under there in the dark this little stick of wood holding it up the whole God damn car could have…

— Like this…? and the sudden thrust of a boot sent the wood shivering, the car crashed down splashing broken stone under the rocker panel. — Why didn't you, Paul.

— Billy God damn it don't…

— Might have been your last chance when it could still do you some good. Here… he'd reached in to pull the keys from the ignition, tossed them over — kids find the keys in it they'll take it for a joyride and leave it in a ditch. An old heap like this Paul, it wouldn't even be grand larceny.

— You would have wouldn't you! Been me under there, wouldn't you! He was down on one knee brushing leaves aside for the keys, — good karma someday Billy God damn it, I'll show you good karma! But the wind threw his words back to him, blowing up from the river, blowing the leaves up in flurries where his fingers raked them aside, smashed wing, muddied mantle barely distinguishable in the protective coloration of death, he straightened up with the keys looking down the hill where the figure hunched smaller against the wind, and then he stooped to pick up the bird by a leg and hold it away as he turned for the door.

— Paul? I thought I heard the car start. Is it fixed?

— Till the next time.

— What's that you've, oh!

He carried it past her to drop in the trash. — Where's the whisky.

— In the refrigerator, you…

— What the hell is it doing in the refrigerator.

— You put it there last night.

— Well why didn't you take it out… The refrigerator door banged against the counter. — He's crazy Liz. That God damn brother of yours, he's crazy.

— Paul please he, I know sometimes he…

— Sometimes! You know what he just did out there?

— I thought he fixed the car, you said…

— He ought to be locked up Liz. He's dangerous. Is this glass clean? He ought to be in Payne Whitney with your uncle strutting around in a cutaway, Uncle William strutting around Payne Whitney with no pants on.

— Like the night you folded up all your clothes and put them in the refrig…

— Liz that never happened! It never happened, it's something you read someplace.

— I thought it was funny.

— Nothing's funny. When did Ude say he'd call back.

— He just said later. Who's Mister Ude.

— Reverend Ude. He's a client. Did you bring in the mail?

— It's, yes it's somewhere, I think I put it…

— Look Liz, we've got to get a system. At least you brought it in, good. Now there's got to be a place for it. If I'm going to get any kind of an operation going here we've got to get a system, I've got to know where the mail is when I walk in, you've got to get a pad there by the phone so I can see who…

— No it's there, there behind the bag of onions when I came in I…

— See that's what I mean. I mean if I'm going to run any kind of operation from here I can't be looking for the mail under a bag of onions. Did my check come?

— I didn't look, I don't…

— God damn bank, somebody in there with a lien they're probably freezing everything I… Paper tore, — listen to this. Dear Customer… — Paul?

— Does taking ten percent off any initial purchase at the finest furniture specialty store in America sound attractive to you? If so, you'll be happy to know that the…

— Paul what just happened out there. With Billy, you said…

— Nothing. Nothing Liz he's crazy, that's all, he ought to be locked up for his own good, what the hell do we need furniture for. This God damn bank look at it, three payments behind on that loan they're threatening to wipe me out now they're trying to sell me furniture. All we've got is furniture!

— I just wish we did. I just wish I could look up and see something of mine sometimes, those two marquetry chests could go right in the…

— Look they're not going anywhere without paying the God damn storage bill, get all that stuff in here where the hell would we put it.

— We could, someday if we could take out that wall in the living room onto the porch? just open it all up and put in an arch there right out onto the porch and glass it all in, the whole porch, and that old piano from Longview we could…