William Gaddis: Carpenter's Gothic

— Pull out that wall the whole God damn house would fall down Liz what are you talking about, rent somebody's house you want to start knocking walls down? Paper tore.

— I just said, someday…

— Gustav Schak MD, two hundred sixty dollars. Who the hell is Gustav Schak.

— The one I saw last week, the one Jack Orsini sent me to and I had that terrible…

— One visit? Two hundred sixty dollars for one visit?

— Well they did those tests I told you, how awful his nurse was shouting at me I could hardly breathe, that spirometry test I was right in the middle of a spasm and she was shouting at me about…

— Spirometry eighty dollars. CC one hundred dollars, what the hell is CC. Comprehensive consultation, what the…

— Well I don't know Paul! It was all so confused, I felt so awful and his nurse was so rude and he was in such a rush he was leaving for a golf vacation in Palm Springs, I hardly saw him for ten minutes. He got me in as a favour to Orsini, because they need to know what these tests say when I see this specialist next week, this Doctor Kissinger I'm seeing next week and Doctor Schak is sending over the…

— Yes all right Liz, all right but Christ. Two hundred and six…

— I can't help it! I, I don't know what else to…

— All right look. Just send him twenty five dollars and write payment in full on the check. Can you call Orsini?

— I did. He's in Geneva. Some big convention of neurologists or something in Geneva.

— So he goes over, reads a paper, gets in a little skiing at Kitzbühel, stops at Deauville to check out his horses, takes the whole God damn thing off his taxes and he's back in town just in time for another giant publishing party, another giant paperback success…

— But he's been kind to me Paul, he's always been generous with…

— Generous? after the way your father set him up? Look I want to talk to him Liz, the next time you hear from Orsini I want to talk to him.

— I wouldn't Paul I just wouldn't, if he thinks you're interfering with that research thing Daddy set up for him he'll be furious I know he will, he'll be…

— I'm not interfering with a God damn thing, that's not what I want to talk to him about now God damn it Liz don't tell me what to do! He brought the bottle tipped over his glass, — what's that one.

— This? She handed it over, — I can't even tell what country it's from.

— Zaire. Who the hell do we know in, wait. Here, it's for McCandless, stick it up in the door there with the rest of his, where the hell is my VA check… Paper tore, — from those insurance bastards. In order to complete their records in this case pending trial they would like you to make an appointment for a medical examination relevant to your claims against this God damn airline what the hell are they…

— I don't know! I've had seven of them, ten I don't know how many it was four years ago, I don't even remember where I told them it hurt, I can't even…

— Well I can… the paper crumpled in his hand, — bastards. I can tell them, dizziness, headaches… He smoothed it out on the table. — Your failure to complete this appointment may jeopardize your claim for injuries sustained in, I can tell them.

Her head had sunk into her hand where she held it, pulling a deep breath, stood abruptly with a step to the sink for a paper towel blowing her nose there, again with a hollow urgency, looking out. Streetlight brought down another leaf or two on the terrace. — When do you want to eat, she finally said.

— Give me some ice while you're up, will you?

She stood there, looking out. — Paul?

— Who do you know in Eleuthera.

— Nobody she said, the paper towel knotted tight in her hand, turning for the harsh chromo of boats on green water. — Oh it's Edie, a card from Edie.

— She still dragging that Indian around?

— I don't know. I just so long to see her.

— Well I can live without her, I'll tell you that.

— I just wish you wouldn't always have to say that, she's the only, Edie's always been my best friend always, she always…

— Look after the way Grimes fixed me up what do you expect me to…

— That wasn't Edie! Do you think she tells her father what to do? she even knows what he does? That was you and Mister Grimes and the company after Daddy, did I ever tell Daddy what to do? Did anybody ever blame me for Daddy?

— All right Liz but God damn it, Edie saw what happened didn't she? when your father was out and Grimes moved up as chairman? Grimes got what he wanted didn't he? did he have to push me out too? Couldn't Edie, your best friend Edie couldn't she even put in a word? Right now couldn't she? One word from Grimes to Adolph, one word anyplace one word from Grimes to this God damn airline he sits on their board, he sits on the board of their God damn insurance company too this one, this one right here the one that wrote you this letter, Grimes pulled it off before didn't he? that policy VCR had on your father? Some question how your father met his death and they dig in their heels, Grimes takes off his VCR hat and puts on his insurance company hat, they pay off the twenty million without a whimper, VCR cash flow picks up their stock jumps a few points and there's Grimes back in the driver's seat, whole thing was God damn strange Liz. That twenty million coming right when they needed it did you get me some ice?

She steadied a hand on the chair, sat down and said — no, near a whisper.

— I mean it's yours it's going to be yours, one word to Adolph to release a few thousand we'd be out of the hole, it's just taking part of what's ours out a little ahead of time, part of what's accumulated in the trust we won't even miss it when the whole thing comes through it's nothing, a few thousand, one word to Adolph and we'd be…

— Well he won't. Billy just talked to Adolph and he won't even…

— Billy that God damn Billy! What the hell does he do with it, he gets as much from the trust every month what does he do with it! You see him just now? he walks into Adolph looking like that what's Adolph going to do, dig into the trust for you and there's Billy with a dirty hand out? What the hell does he do with it! Liz?

— What.

— I said he gets as much as…

— Well what do we do with it! The paper towel came apart in her hands — what do we do with it, we get as much as he does Paul what do we do with it!

— No now wait Liz that's, wait. We're trying to do something, trying to do something Liz trying to live like civilized, get out of the God damn hole here live like civilized people Liz I'm trying to build something here, have something to show for it he just wants to show his contempt for it, for everything, worse the use he can find for it the better that's what he does with it. Rock bands, queers, spades out there dealing drugs and all this Buddhist crap you know he just tried to pull that on me again out there? that karma crap he got from those Tibetan creeps he had following him around? Same thing Liz the same God damn thing, that greasy little burr head monk in the red blanket doing him a favour taking his money same God damn thing, giving him a chance to show his contempt for the money, show his contempt for the people he gives it to and the system it came out of like all these God damn kids parading around with their guitars and their hair dyed pink they'll scam, con, deal, the worse fraud they can skim a few dollars off of the better the one God damn thing they won't do is work for it, did he ever earn a nickel? work one God damn day in his life?

— Well he has Paul, he has, that's why he was here just now he'd been driving a…

— Borrow some money, that's why he was here just now wasn't it? tried to borrow some money?

— Well but that's not the…