William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— Well let them then! Let them file your appeal and see what happens before you go off on some wild goose chase with, setting up readings, what readings? where? Call it an opportunity when you don't even…

— Because he's here Christina. He's in town, Sir John Nipples, he's here to direct a revival of Sheridan's School for Scandal it's right there in the paper, if that's not an opportunity?

— So you plan to have those brilliant students of yours over here sitting on the floor giving a spirited reading while you serve Sir John carrots in the Spanish style it's insane Oscar, you can't be serious. It's all perfectly insane.

— I did not say out here did I? Did I? I can arrange a reading in town, get some professional actors together and arrange a reading for him in town once I've chosen the most effective…

— And how do you plan to pay these professional actors of yours.

— Pay them? They'll jump at the chance Christina, the chance to be seen by one of the most prestigious directors in the theatre anywhere today? Oí Bourse they'll do it for nothing, they're so vain they'd probably even pay for a chance like this, we won't have to go searching for them we'll have to fight them off, we…

— I wish you wouldn't say we, I don't plan to have anything to oh, put it down here Lily, and those papers we picked up off the floor will you get them? I think I put them on top of the refrigerator, sitting up there in one of Father's old suits why don't you invite him up for your professional actors spieling these effective passages, I'm sure he'd have some suggestions.

— Father has a lot on his plate.

— You certainly read that line with relish. Is that why you're doing all this? just to prove to him that you…

— Why should I have to prove anything to him! He's…

— Well my God, I mean that's what set you off on this merrygoround in the first place isn't it? Up here staggering around when we drove in I asked you what was going on and you said you'd just called Father?

— I didn't say I talked to him did I? I said I'd called him no, no his clerk said he was too busy to come to the phone, another nice helping on this plate right here in the paper this morning, he's so busy down there now with some crackpot minister who drowned a boy he was trying to baptize he can't spare me a minute to come to the phone, where's the sugar. Put that on his plate with these Senate Judiciary Committee hearings any day now and that junk sculpture case turned upside down while this Neanderthal institutes his impeachment proceedings and he'll, didn't you bring the sugar?

— I hardly ever saw you drink coffee before Oscar, I didn't know if you wanted…

— Well what does it say, in the paper where does it…

— Well read it! Back in the entertainment section where it belongs, headline's LORD CALLED DROWNED BOY REVEREND UDE TELLS COURT, something like that.

— Who?

— Not your Bobby Joe no, this is some old quack up in the Carolinas, suit for wrongful death by the boy's father runs a junkyard in Mississippi so it's the same old diversity of citizenship lands it in Federal court and…

— No but it is! You know who that is? That's Reverend Bobby Joe's daddy, does it say Elton? Reverend Elton Ude? That's his old daddy, Reverend Bobby Joe moved down to Florida because Disney World's down there where the old people go and that's his daddy, I just know it is Oscar because Reverend Bobby Joe told Daddy once how his daddy was…

— Daddy daddy daddy, will you just give her the paper? The two of you, my God, sitting here in your old daddy's suit with your, now where do you think you're going.

— To get those pages you put on top of the refrig…

— Don't be ridiculous, Lily can get them and don't you dare light another of those things, up here parading around the room when some insurance adjuster drives in to check out your crippling disabilities, you think he's going to think you're Mister Boatwright our old family plumber in an outfit like that? And there go your damages for your idiotic accident pain and suffering, permanent disfigurement and all the rest of it down the drain along with your million dollar appeal when Sir John gets these professional actors up there prancing around the stage while your friend Kiester and the rest of them sit in the audience clapping their hands off and here you are gaping out at the shining Big-Sea-Water with nothing but a lapfull of bills from…

— Listen. This suit I'm wearing? a tremble in his hand clutching the package of Home Runs there as though armed however vainly, his own clothes were all up in his room and he hadn't wanted to try the stairs yet so he'd put this on from the library closet simply to dress like a civilized man again — because I am a civilized man! yes, and taking a look around maybe one of the last ones left. Hospital bills? medical bills? pain and suffering, he'd had enough of it, let his new lawyers worry about it, they'd get paid like the other ones when they got results and if anyone wanted a look at his permanent disfigurement he'd wear his scar right out where they could enjoy it, he'd accepted this invitation to speak on the battle of Shiloh hadn't he? had to get out his notes to prepare for that right now in fact, and if any brokendown insurance adjuster wanted to come peeking in the windows, let him. Just let him!

— I think you've got your wish, Oscar.

— Somebody just came up on the porch, shall I…

— That's what I mean. He looks sufficiently brokendown to play the part, will you see what he wants Lily?

— No, I'll go.

— I better not, if they find me here they could…

— I said I'll go! lurching upright, steadying against the sideboard and down the hall to clatter the glass doors open, — Well?

— Mister Crease?

— I am Mister Crease. What do you want.

— Hard time finding you back here. This is for you.

— Well what is it. Who are you.

— Process server, Mister Crease. It's a subpoena.

— It's, I don't want it! The envelope fell to the floor, — I don't…

— You've been served, Mister Crease. Nice place you've got, never know it was tucked away back here in the…

— Get out of here! Didn't you see the sign? This is private property, can't you read?

— One more word, get this porch fixed before it falls on somebody's head and you'll see me right back here again now I know the way, let's part better strangers as the Bard says? Have a nice…

— Go away! He stooped for the envelope, dropped it, caught it again and came up slowly, muttering back down the hall — God, what some people will do for a living. Here, he held it out unsteadily, — throw it away.

— People will do anything, what is it.

— I said throw it away!

— It's a, you're summoned as a witness for the trial in an action between Sosumi Motor Co. and the following defendants. Fan Tan Ltd., Productos Porqueria S.A., Wydawniczy I can't pronounce it, there's quite a list.

— Ridiculous, will you throw it away!

— Failure to appear may subject you to a fine or imprisonment, or both. Bring this summons to court with you, it sounds…

— Will you, here. Just give it to me, send it to the lawyers that's what they're paid for isn't it? I can't bother with it now, take all morning to get these pages back in order and try to read through the first act before lunch, just something light. An omelette? Consomme and a plain omelette, there must be thyme out there, tarragon, she'd have to show her, parsley? chives? a simple omelette fines herbes then, a little water beaten in with the eggs but cold water, it must be cold but she supposed she'd have to stand over her after that last milksop like something you'd get at a truck-stop, and, when the time came — a little wine? It helped bring on the nap before he got back down to work, the pages sorted, squared, murmuring through them line by line broken by faint moans of pleasure, word by word shaping his lips and even escaping aloud — when we came back from France like beggars looking for a new exile and you sent me up there to see him? dropping to a whisper hoarse with indignation — Coming in here in your fine French clothes demanding your rights he said to me, when I asked him for the money that he owed my father, when I'd spent the morning trimming frayed cuffs and pinning the hem on my father's coat to, pinning up the hem, with a pause for the pencil, — pinning up the hem on my father's coat, on my father's threadbare coat to try to look fit to call. Five hundred dollars! in a gasp of outrage subsiding to a murmur, to muttering — for myself and those in my keeping Thomas, to know the Lord's will, and submit. To lay up treasures in heaven Thomas, treasures even for you, while you seek here below, on a sharp intake of breath — Only justice! falling away aggrieved — when my spirit was almost broken…