James Kelman - A Chancer

McCann was staring at him. Then he sniffed. I dont like the way you said that, that’s all. You knew we were fucking skint. No cunt was fucking forcing you to buy us anything.

I know.

Aye well dont fucking start then that’s all I’m saying.

I’m no fucking starting.

I mean ya cunt ye two fucking hundred quid you win and you worry about buying us a pint! Jesus Christ Almighty.

Ssshhh. Auld Roper patted McCann on the wrist.

Well no fucking wonder, that’s fucking out of order!

He’s just a boy, muttered the elderly man.

Ah fuck sake but. . McCann shook his head. There’s no need for that. As if we were reneging on the fucking company man I mean Jesus Christ — eh! McCann sat back round and he glared at Tammas: I mean what’s the fucking score at all eh! starting that kind of fucking patter with me and the auld yin! Eh? Giving us a fucking showing up like that!

I’m no giving yous a showing up.

You fucking are giving us a showing up!

Billy was now onto his feet, his hands held palms upwards and saying: Come on Brian eh? come on. .

Naw fuck sake Billy! McCann waved him away. That’s fucking out of order!

Okay. Tammas said, I’m sorry.

You’re sorry.

Aye, I’m sorry. I’ve bought yous a drink as usual but I’m fucking sorry.

McCann bounced up onto the floor and grabbed Tammas by the neck and marched him backwards about four yards and he yelled: Ya wee fucking bastard ye ya wee fucking bastard I’ll fucking murder ye man here and now, I’ll fucking murder ye.

Tammas was choking and he staggered but had gripped onto McCann’s wrist while stepping back the way. McCann let him go, and he stepped back another yard, rubbing his neck and coughing. A lot of the people in the pub were talking at once. And Billy had jumped round the side of McCann and was shouting: Dont fucking start that with Tammas ya cunt or you’re in fucking trouble man, you’re in fucking trouble. .

But McCann had caught him by the shoulder and was pushing him on the way and he went staggering a couple of paces, catching onto a table, and two men who were sitting at it jumped quickly back out the road.

McCann stood staring at Tammas, his arms at his sides, both of his fists flexing open and shut, and his shoulders moving, and he raised his right hand, wagged the forefinger at Tammas: Dont you ever fucking do that again to me. Right!

Tammas said nothing.

I’m fucking warning you Tammas; dont you ever fucking do that to me again. Or you’re fucking dead. Ye listening? D’you know what I’m talking about? You’re fucking dead!

Tammas was gazing at him.

You hear what I’m saying?

Tammas made no answer.

Eh?

And Billy was now tugging at him on the elbow. Hey man hey come on, let’s go, let’s go man, let’s go — out of this fucking place man, fucking bastards, let’s go. .

Tammas rubbed at his neck again and coughed. Over McCann’s shoulder he could see Auld Roper making signs, gesticulating, pointing at the exit. . He made no acknowledgment but continued gazing in the direction of McCann.

McCann was staring back at him.

And now Billy’s hand was on his shoulder and pulling him backwards and he said, Aye, aye, I’m coming. . And he saw the barmen staring at him and also a couple of guys standing up by the bar, all staring at him.

Outside on the pavement Billy took him by the arm. Tammas was shaking his head, still rubbing at his neck, Come on man. . Billy was patting him now on the shoulder.

Fucking bastard, said Tammas, fucking bastard.

I know man I know he’s a fucking, a fucking bastard man a bastard, you dont worry about him man a cunt like that, you dont worry about cunts like that man dirty fucking bastard.

Whhh Jesus. . Tammas shook his head from side to side, making a grunting blowing noise, his eyelids shut and with his shoulder now leaning against the tenement wall; then he was seeing an old woman staring at him — she was standing some yards away at a bus stop, standing staring at him. He turned his head, putting his hand over his eyes, and walked on, Billy going with him.

They were walking in the direction of where Billy lived, neither speaking, not looking at each other till eventually Tammas paused a little bringing out the cigarettes, and they got them lighted, and then he led the way across the road and round the next corner. And Billy said, Going to the betting shop?

Aye. Tammas sniffed. A horse I fancy in the next.

You alright?

Aye.

Neck?

Aye, okay. . Fucking nearly strangled me so he did.

Billy nodded. As they entered the doorway of the betting shop Tammas palmed him a £5 note but he frowned and muttered, What the fuck’s this for?

Tammas shrugged.

I dont want it. . Billy held it upwards as though to return it.

Och stick it in your pocket man it’s just to have a bet.

Billy shook his head but he took the money and he followed Tammas into the shop.

It was very busy inside and each went to different formpages. Then Tammas checked the previous races’ results. Neither of the first two runners of the three he fancied earlier had managed to gain even a place. He counted the money he had left and then stuck it all onto the third one. When he was writing out the line he saw Billy across the room, also writing out a line. They went to different pay-in windows, then stood together to hear the commentary. The horse Tammas had backed fell at the 2nd fence. But neither he nor Billy had mentioned their selections to the other, and after a moment he muttered, I need a slash man. . And he crossed in the direction of the lavatory, leaving Billy engrossed in the commentary. Outside he began running. It was after 3 o’clock. He ran over the road and cut through the back of a close, crossing backcourts to avoid passing Simpson’s , and on to his own street and up the stairs to collect the bankbook.

The bank was almost empty. He scribbled a withdrawal slip for the £44. The clerk gazed at it and at the figures in the bankbook. Is that you closing the account altogether? he asked.

Well eh. . Tammas sniffed. Naw, just give me the forty three.

The clerk nodded. But you’ll need to alter it and initial it. . and he returned him the slip.

Billy signalled to him when he arrived back in the bookmaker’s. D’you catch it?

Nah.

Billy nodded. No me either! First favourite of the day as well! Could’ve been backed.

Mm. . Tammas had taken out his cigarettes; he offered Billy one but he declined.

I’m smoking too much these days, he said. And he glanced at Tammas’s neck and pointed at it: Alright man? Looks hell of a red.

Tammas nodded. A wee bit sore.

Fucking McCann! Billy shook his head, he cleared his throat and spat in between his feet, scraping his shoe over it. And when Tammas did not reply he added, Now I know how you were wanting to give it the go bye!

Tammas looked at him.

Naw I mean. . Billy smiled. You werent wanting to go in the first place man it was me fucking dragged you — Simpson’s I’m talking about.

Aw aye, hh. Tammas inhaled on the cigarette and a moment later he walked to a wall to look at one of the formpages.

•••

The bedroom door being opened roused him but the light was not switched on and he kept his eyelids shut and stayed in the same position, and soon the door closed, clicking shut.

Later on Margaret entered, she walked straight in and put her hand onto his shoulder, and he turned over to lie on his back. I didnt want to waken you, she said, but I know you never took your tea; and me and Robert’s just about to have some supper.

Mm.

It’s nearly midnight.

He sniffed and squinted at the alarm clock, raising himself onto his elbows.