James Kelman - A Chancer

Och, tch, I dont care. Ann rose from her chair. I’m going to the Ladies.

Milly also rose: I’ll come with you.

When they had gone Joe glanced at Vi and the man with her. He grinned: Some day out eh!

The man shrugged.

Charlie’s awful bad tempered, said Vi.

Aye but do you no think she’s needling him too much?

I dont, said Vi and she added: Not really. She sniffed very slightly and opened her handbag, brought out a paper tissue and dabbed round her nose. And she’s dead right about it being freezing.

Well we’re going for a meal in a minute — eh Stan?

Suits me.

Vi was gazing about her. The bar was still crowded with folk discussing the last race and the one to come. She said to Joe: Even a bit of music would liven the place up. I mean it’s so boring.

Joe glanced at Tammas and raised his eyebrows.

I saw you, she said, reaching for another packet of crisps.

Apologies. Apologies. Joe smiled.

But everybody here’s only really come for the horses anyway, said Tammas, I mean they’re no really bothering about other stuff.

She looked at him.

Joe was nodding. He lifted his tumbler, swallowed all of the brandy that was left. I’m going to find Charlie, he added.

Tammas continued to sit there. He drank his beer steadily. Soon the bar was becoming less busy and he stood up, nodding in the direction of the exit. . Going to see the race.

The horse he fancied finished third. He was watching the race from the side of the stand and he could see Joe and Charlie about 30 yards away. During the race, especially towards the closing stages, Charlie’s voice had increased in volume as he roared on his selection and it sounded as if he had backed the winner, but he had not, he had backed the second. Tammas arrived at the foot of the steps ahead of them and he shrugged. Beat!

And us, said Joe.

Charlie muttered, Fucking favourites; you never learn at this place, I’m no coming fucking back.

Joe chuckled.

They continued on through to the bar and along to their table. Joe was about to order a round of drinks but Milly said, To be honest Joe, I think we’re really feeling like going into Glasgow now.

Well. . he nodded.

Charlie shrugged.

Fine then, we’ll go and eat. Joe stepped aside to allow Milly and Ann stand up from their chairs and he said to Tammas: We’re no waiting for the last race son we’re just going for a meal and then I dont know, going up a casino or something — you’re welcome to tag along if you like, eh Charlie?

Aye. Charlie shrugged, stuck his hands in his trouser pockets and he turned, headed the group towards the exit.

Tammas followed at the rear.

Little was said during the walk to the cars. There were two, driven by Joe and Charlie, parked in a side street off the main Glasgow road. After a moment’s discussion Joe waved Tammas into his car, into the rear while Milly got into the passenger’s seat. Vi was first into Charlie’s car, with Charlie holding the door for her. Joe waited for the other to drive off and he said to Milly: We’ll no see him now, no till we reach the restaurant!

Milly chuckled.

From the back seat Tammas reached across with his cigarettes and when Joe slowed to a halt at the junction of the main road he struck a match and they each got a light. Joe said, Eh son if you’re fancying coming along to the casino with us you’ll need to get a shirt and a tie. He laughed briefly: It’s no like eh. . He cleared his throat in a significant way.

Tammas had given Joe instruction on reaching his street. He raced upstairs and put on his good suit and a shirt and tie and he called a cheerio to Margaret who had just returned home from work. Dont make me any tea, he said as she looked out from the kitchen.

She raised her eyebrows but then smiled. He closed the door, trotted back down the stairs and out through the close. Joe had kept the engine ticking over.

The other group had almost finished eating when they arrived. It was at an Indian restaurant on Sauchiehall Street. From there they strolled along to a lounge bar. An hour later they were walking upstairs and into the Royal casino. Tammas had to sign his name and enter his address in a big book that lay open on a table in the entrance lobby. The doorman wore a tuxedo and watched him write.

Inside there were roulette tables and blackjack tables and one for craps but there was no chemin de fer being played, and no table set aside for it. Quite a lot of people were about, both sexes, the women standing mainly at the roulette wheels. Vi and Stan and the other two women were among them. Joe and Charlie had vanished. Tammas walked around for a few minutes but without seeing them. Eventually he stopped by one of the blackjack tables and after watching for a wee while he made a bet. Ten minutes later he had lost about half of what he had returned from the races with. He went to the coffee lounge.

Some time later he looked up from next morning’s Daily Record. Vi was there. Thought you had left, she said, sitting down at the opposite side of the table.

Naw. Sudden death in there! I just came out.

She nodded.

Too fast. You hardly have time to think.

Mm, you’re telling me. . She glanced around the room. After a moment she continued, Ann and Charlie are away home — still fighting.

He smiled, lowered his gaze to the newspaper then added, I thought Joe told me they played poker in this place?

They do but it’ll no be for a wee while yet. Vi yawned; she glanced at the page Tammas was reading and muttered. Horses horses horses — d’you think you could get me a coffee please?

What — sorry, aye. . he slapped the newspaper on the table surface as he rose but she shook her head: Dont bother.

What?

Dont bother I said, I dont want one.

Tammas hesitated.

I dont.

He shrugged, sat back down. He took his cigarettes from his pocket and offered her one. She accepted it and then took the light from him. Did you lose at roulette? he asked.

You must be joking. I dont have any money to lose at gambling. I only came to keep Milly company.

Aw aye.

Not that she ever wins. And then she’s going on at Joe for more money all the time; it gets embarassing.

Are they married like?

Vi laughed.

He shrugged slightly and smiled. He gazed upwards in the direction of the electric wall clock.

Are you playing poker? she asked.

Who me, naw, no the night. He sniffed: What about you? what do you do? Do you wait till they’re finished or what?

Finished! I’d be here all night! No, just till Stan’s lost his money at blackjack or roulette or whatever it is. . She had gestured vaguely in the direction of the gaming room. Now she glanced at him: He’s my brother-in-law — alright?

What?

Vi frowned. I said he’s my brother-in-law. He follows me about like a guard dog. Anyways, she added, I wouldnt worry about it, I dont fancy getting done for babysnatching.

Tammas was staring at her. She had opened her handbag and was looking in at the contents, her head bent to it. Then he was blushing; and he sniffed, inhaled on his cigarette. He shut the newspaper. I’m off eh. . He stood to his feet. If you can tell Joe for me and that I’ll eh, see him again.

Vi looked at him.

Cheerio.

Cheerio. She shrugged.

•••

Donnie was frowning. He looked round the table at the others. I dont know what we wanted to come here for anyhow, he said. He swivelled on his seat, stared across at the counter: I mean imagine going up to that bent shot behind the bar and asking for a set of dominoes! Eh? Can you imagine it! What a fucking dump!

Rab laughed: A place is a dump if they dont play dominoes!

Aye, well. . Donnie raised his pint glass, swallowed the remainder of the lager. Then he placed the empty carefully in the centre of the table; he cleared a space round it amongst the ash and spilled beer.