David Peace - Red or Dead

Still?

Bill nodded. Bill nodded again. And Bill said, Yes, yes. But that doesn’t say that I’ve got very much time for politicians. Including socialist politicians. They’ve a difficult job. But I mean, they make a terrible mess of it. So that really and truly a man is his own politics. Your politics, you are born with. And so was I born with mine.

That’s shades of Rabbie Burns in that …

Yes. Exactly. Yes. Burns was a clever man. When he wrote To a Mouse , he was in the field, with his brother Gilbert. Ploughing. And he said to Gilbert, I need to go home. And when he went home, and Gilbert come home at night, he had written To a Mouse . The whole lot.

Yeah, said the interviewer. Smashing …

And Bill said, Yep.

Why, asked the interviewer, just lastly, Bill, in the book, there’s this bit, which has attracted all the attention, where you say you are not welcome at Liverpool …

Yeah.

I mean, surely that isn’t true?

Bill swallowed. And Bill said, I’ve written a book about people. Praising people. Talking about people. Ninety-nine per cent talking and praising people. One per cent a little bit of criticism. And people pick out the one per cent. And if anybody is annoyed at me saying that, then that appals me. Because it’s a fact. It’s fair comment. And if anybody writes a book. About sport or anything. And it’s ninety-nine per cent OK. Surely the one per cent is nothing, is it? You wouldn’t win an election if you only got one per cent …

No, said the interviewer. But you see, what did strike me as odd in the book, you say that you went to Bruges with Liverpool …

Yeah.

After you stopped being manager …

Yeah.

And they wouldn’t let you stay in the same hotel. Now that seems awful to me. That the club would say, Go to another hotel. We don’t want you …

Well, I went at the invitation of Radio City. And they must have got permission from the club for me to go on the plane. But I was in a different hotel, yeah. Oh yes.

Well, I would have thought Bill Shankly could walk into Anfield every day of the week, all the time, for what you have done?

Bill nodded. And Bill said, Oh, I could. For the home games, yeah. I could, yeah. But not the away games. I mean, I used to get tickets from Burnley. For the game at Burnley. I mean, maybe when I went to the home game, they might have said, Do you want a couple of tickets for the game next week? But no. No. It’s mentioned a bit because it happened to me. You understand?

Yeah.

It happened to me.

Yes.

My life was spent there. Fighting to get them somewhere –

Bill stopped speaking. Bill stopped talking. And Bill looked away again. No cars passing, no dogs barking. Nothing. Nothing but silence. In the sunshine and in the street. Just the silence.

Would you like to go back?

No.

Into management?

Bill shook his head. And Bill said, No, no. I’d like to have some involvement. About games. And to help people.

Two last questions, I suppose: would you go through it all again? And is the football now as good as when you started kicking the ball around in Ayrshire?

Oh, I wouldn’t like to go through the whole thing again. But having gone through it, I would like to be involved in some way. Because I think that I can do the game a lot of good. I mean, my psychology. My knowledge of the game. My knowledge of people. And I think it would be a terrible pity for that to be wasted …

And is the game today –

Because I’m still as lucid as I was. Yeah, yeah …

That’s great, said the interviewer. Thank you, Bill. Thank you very much. That was great, Bill.

Bill nodded. Bill stuck out his hand. And Bill said, OK, then. If you’re sure you’ve got everything you need …

More than enough, said the interviewer. More than enough. But thank you again, Bill. Thank you.

Bill smiled. And Bill said, Well, if you want a cup of tea. And a biscuit. Before you head back …

No, no, said the interviewer. We best get back. We best get off. But thank you, Bill. Thank you again. And to your wife, too.

Bill nodded again. And Bill shook hands with the interviewer. And with the cameraman and the sound man. And Bill said, Well, you boys have a safe journey back now …

Thank you, Bill.

In the sunshine. In the street. With cars passing and with dogs barking. Bill walked back to his gate. Bill walked back up the drive. Bill opened his front door. Bill went back into the house. Bill closed the front door. Bill went back up the stairs. Bill went back into the bedroom. Bill went back over to the bed. Bill took off his jacket. The freshly cleaned grey jacket. Bill picked up the coat hanger from the bed. Bill hung the jacket back on the hanger. Bill went back over to the wardrobe. Bill opened the wardrobe door. Bill hung the jacket back inside the wardrobe. Bill stepped back from the wardrobe. Bill looked at the mirror on the back of the wardrobe door. Bill stared at the mirror on the back of the wardrobe door. Into the mirror on the back of the wardrobe door. The man in the mirror on the back of the wardrobe door. In his red shirt. The collar too big. Bill looked at the man. Bill stared at the man. The man shaking his head. Fighting back tears, struggling to breathe. And Bill said, I have not written anything derogatory about anyone. I have just stated facts. My book is ninety-nine per cent about people and one per cent of criticism. And people have dived in to talk about that one per cent. But that one per cent is fair comment. About fact, about what has happened.

People did want Bill Shankly to be involved in some way. People at big clubs, people at small clubs. People did think Bill Shankly could do the game a lot of good. At big clubs, at small clubs. His knowledge of the game. His knowledge of people. People called Bill Shankly. People invited Bill Shankly to their big club and to their small club. To share his knowledge of the game, to share his knowledge of people. Derby County called Bill Shankly. Derby County asked Bill Shankly if he would consider taking on an advisory role at the Baseball Ground. To share his knowledge of the game, to share his knowledge of people. I’m seriously thinking about this offer, Bill Shankly told the gentlemen of the local press. Because I would feel as if I were part of something again. I envisage going to the Baseball Ground once or twice a week. But that does not affect Colin Murphy’s position at all. And I’m not being pushed for a decision. It’s not like being asked to get a spade out and dig the road. But I would feel as if I were part of the game again without having the worries of a manager. When you are a manager, you have more worries than the prime minister. And he’s got enough. But I would feel as if I were part of something. I would be helping with the training and the playing side of the club, working on little details like where to eat and what time to go to bed and so on. I could come and go as I please, maybe just going in one day a week, which suits me fine. But I would feel as if I were part of something again. I go to the games anyway, so I wouldn’t be away from home any more than I am now. But I would feel as if I were part of something. I have been in football forty-three years and sometimes I get a bit moody and fidgety. Going to the games is fine but, having been involved, it’s better if you go with the official party. And I would feel as though I were part of something again …

And Bill Shankly did seriously think about the offer. Bill Shankly seriously thinking, Bill Shankly seriously wondering. Whether he should go or whether he should not go. Bill Shankly knowing and Bill Shankly not knowing. Whether he should go or whether he should not go. Round and around. Bill Shankly thinking, Bill Shankly wondering. Whether he should go or whether he should not go. Until Bill Shankly did know. And Bill Shankly did not go. Bill Shankly stayed at home. In Liverpool. Bill Shankly waiting. Still waiting, always waiting. For the letter on the mat, the knock on the door. Or the call on the phone –