David Peace - Red or Dead

The gentlemen of the press all nodded. And the gentlemen of the press asked, So what do you think about Don Revie being appointed as England boss, Bill?

Jesus Christ, boys. The man is only forty-seven and he’s gone into semi-retirement …

Bill Shankly stopped. Mid-sentence. Bill Shankly glanced at his watch. Ticking, ticking. Bill Shankly turned around. Bill Shankly saw the directors of Liverpool Football Club. Behind the long table, in their dark suits. Bill Shankly put down his cup of tea. His brown-bread sandwich. And Bill Shankly walked up to the long table at the front of the lounge. Bill Shankly made his way behind the backs of the chairs of the directors of Liverpool Football Club. Bill Shankly put down his hat on the window ledge. And Bill Shankly took his seat in the middle of the line of the directors of Liverpool Football Club.

One of the television crew switched on his portable sunlight. And Bill Shankly jumped back to his feet –

Hold it a minute, boys! John Wayne has not arrived yet!

The gentlemen of the press laughed. But the directors of Liverpool Football Club did not laugh. They did not even smile. In their dark suits and in their silence. They were waiting.

Bill Shankly sat back down behind the long table. Bill Shankly turned to John Smith. And Bill Shankly nodded –

And John Smith said, It is with great regret that I, as chairman of Liverpool Football Club, have to inform you that Mr Shankly has intimated that he wishes to retire from active participation in League football. And the board has, with extreme reluctance, accepted his decision. I would like at this stage to place on record the board’s great appreciation of Mr Shankly’s magnificent achievements over the period of his managership. Meanwhile, Mr Shankly has agreed to give every assistance to the club for as long as is necessary.

There were gasps from the press –

Gasps. And then silence.

Bill Shankly looked down at the table. At his hands, at his fingers. His fingers and his nails. And Bill Shankly nodded. And then Bill Shankly looked back up –

This is not a decision that was taken quickly, said Bill Shankly. It has been in my mind over the last twelve months. But I feel it is time I had a rest from the game I’ve served for forty-three years. My wife and I both felt that we wanted to have a rest and charge up my batteries again. It was the most difficult thing in the world to make a decision like this and, when I went to see the chairman to say I was retiring, it was like walking to the electric chair. I was going to be burned up, frizzled up. But when I’ve had a rest, there are plenty of things I feel I will still be able to do in football. I don’t think it is the time to talk about them now. It will be part of my hobby. Whether I can live without it, I cannot answer now. I can only wait and see …

But there is no animosity between the chairman, the directors and me. None at all. These people kept me bartering, putting propositions in my way that possibly even Paul Getty would have taken. In the end I felt guilty, as if I was committing a crime …

But I said some time ago, I would go when I got the message to go. My wife felt it was time at the end of last season. In fact, she was quite hostile when I said no. Because my attitude was when I had finished one game, I began to prepare for the next. And when I think back now, I think I missed some of the fun out of life. Perhaps I was too dedicated. The laughs were there for the players but never away from the players. I was too serious. I lived the life of a monk. And I carried it to extremes. There is a happy medium which I should have tried to find. But my home has always been a haven. I’m only really comfortable there. It’s what every man needs. There is nothing I like more than being with my grandchildren …

My wife thought at one time I wouldn’t finish with the game until the coffin came in the house. But I think I will have years now before the coffin comes. I’m not saying the game would kill you, but being a manager is often like steering a ship through a minefield. But it’s very sad for me to break away from football. And I shall continue to live on Merseyside. We won’t move from here. The Liverpool crowd have been wonderful …

And I’ll be here on Monday to meet the players when they report back for training. And if the new man wants any help from me while he is settling in, I’ll be glad to give it. But if he doesn’t, I’ll go straight away. It will be a clean break. It will be a complete break with Liverpool Football Club. When a new man comes in, I will be out.

But I’ll still come to watch Liverpool and, when I do, I’ll probably go into the Kop. Onto the Spion Kop …

In the lounge, the VIP lounge at Anfield. There was silence, still silence, still only silence. Until finally, finally, someone asked, Do you not fancy being a director, Bill? Are you moving upstairs?

No, said Bill Shankly. Not even if they paid me.

So how would you sum up your career, Bill?

Well, I think I was the best manager in the game and I should have won more. Yeah. But I didn’t do anything in devious ways. I mean, I would fight with you. And I would break my wife’s leg if I played against her. But I wouldn’t cheat her. I wouldn’t cheat anyone.

But what about regrets then, Bill. Any regrets?

Aye. Just one. Aye. Not winning the European Cup. But it’s not about me. About the past. And about regrets. It’s about the club. About Liverpool Football Club. And the future. The future of Liverpool Football Club. Not about the man who is going. But about the men who are coming in. And there’s no doubt Ray Kennedy will do a good job for Liverpool Football Club. He is big, brave and strong. And his signing means that we now have the greatest strength in depth that we have ever had. We are so strong that you need to have a couple of international caps just to get into the reserve team. And I know Kennedy will cause plenty of trouble to defences. He fights all the way. And so he was at the very top of my list of wanted men –

So it’s been a momentous day. Yes. But his signing shows that I’m not running away. And maybe it will be said that one of the last things I did at this club was to sign a great new player …

Bill Shankly stood up now. His suit too big, his tie too tight. The shadows around his eyes darkened, the lines on his face deepened. Bill Shankly looked at the gentlemen of the press. His eyes wet, his breath short. Bill Shankly nodded. And Bill Shankly smiled –

There’ll not be many days like this, boys.

And then Bill Shankly was gone.

In the house, in their bed. Bill opened his eyes. Bill closed his eyes. And then Bill opened his eyes again. In the dark and in the silence. Bill stared up at the ceiling. The bedroom ceiling. And Bill breathed out. Bill had been dreaming. Only dreaming. In the dark and in the silence. Bill turned to look at the clock on the table beside the bed. The alarm clock. Ticking, ticking. In the dark. Bill got out of bed. Bill shaved and Bill washed. Bill put on his shirt. Bill put on his suit. Bill put on his tie. His red tie. His Liverpool Football Club tie. Bill went down the stairs. Bill went into the kitchen. In the light and in the silence. Bill saw the cloth on the table. The cutlery and the crockery. The salt and pepper pots. The jars of honey and marmalade. The butter dish. The two glasses of fresh orange juice. And Bill smiled. In the kitchen, at the table. Bill and Ness ate breakfast. A slice of toast and honey, a glass of orange juice and a cup of tea. And then Bill helped Ness clear away the breakfast things. Bill dried up the breakfast things. Bill helped Ness put away the breakfast things. And then Bill kissed Ness on her cheek. Bill went into the hall. Bill put on his hat. Bill went out of the front door. Bill went down the drive. Bill got into the car –