Mark Dunn - Ella Minnow Pea

Sinserelee ,

R. Little

NOLLOPTON, NOLLOP

Montae, Nophemger 13

To the Towgate Phamilee:

Please asept mie hartphelt simpathee at this time. Georgeanne passt awae last night phrom let poisoning. She paintet her whole selph phrom het to toe with manee prettee, ornamental hews. She was so resplentent, almost ratiant in repose — the happee, appealing pigments an aesthetit reminter oph her lophlee warm spirit.

She shoot loog smashing 4 the phooneral.

Her remains shoot arriph shortlee.

With all regrets ,

Ella Minnow Pea

NOLLOPTON

Tewstae, Nophemger 14

Ella,

Pharewell. Pharewell. Tho we were not phrents 4 long, I will so miss ewe. Ewe are strong. It is goot that ewe are lepht. We wish ewe well with Enterprise 32. We wish ewe well with ephereething ewe trie to asheeph in these trieing phinal taes. To asheeph 4 Nollop. 4 all we espatriot Nollopians. The Nollopian tiaspora!

Aphetionatelee ,

Tanea ant phamilee

PS. “H” has phallen. (Hee hee, ho ho. How totallee irrelephant to mie lieph now!)

T** ** i** *** wn* o* ** mps o** r** e la** ** g

NOLLOPTON, NOLLOP

Wetstae, Nogemger 15

To: Mr. Warren

NOLLOPIANA

GEORGIA

AMERIGA

Mr. Warren,

Please get wort to mie Momma, to mie Pop ant to Mittie ant Tassie tat I am well. I am a persister, an ootlaster. No more trepitation 4 me. Onlee tetermination!

Tetermination to ent tee tast I startet. Tee otts are not goot. Tee reason: I am not goot. Manneim was saperior to me. Ant Assistant Tom. Now Manneim is tet, ant Tom is — I no not ware. All I am is present. Positioning, stringing letters togeter. 26 into 32. Ontill tee time rons owt. Ontill it all stops.

Ontill … silense.

Ontill … Nollop is no more.

No more.

Alto I no tat Nollop isn’t trewlee going awae. Tee reason: I am not going awae. I will learn to tawg in noomerals. I will learn sign langwage — anee-ting to stae in Nollop. I, Mr. Little, ant tee sparse-peoples still strolling Nollop’s santee, saltee-air seasite, gaseing at sonrises too glorios to plase into worts — we will possess tease tings alwaes! Nollop troo also in ower memories — teep, teep witin ower soles.

I miss ewe all teeplee. I am sorree to atmit, Momma, tat I am presentlee a snoop! I reat letters — teer, sweet letters ewe wrote to Pop — warm, engaging letters Pop wrote to ewe. Some olt, some new, all ewe gesst no one woot see — ewe pot tem awae so well! I reat tem, ewe see, to gain neetet inspiration.

Teese letters are also mie solass. Mie emollient!

Ant I Tang ewe 4 tem.

Insitentallee, ewe are propaplee reating mie last letter to ewe. It is now simplee too tiring to write. To sae watt I most sae in lang-wage one mae onterstant.

I am so sorree.

Alwaes ,

Ella

Wetstae, Nopemper 15

Nollopians:

G go tonite at mitnite. No more “G.” So long “G.”

Penta-priests

T** ** i** *** wn* o* ** mps o** r** e la** ***

Letter to me:

Onlee 24 owers remain.

Storm.

Tiles plop. 8 tiles plomp plomp all in one nite.

Tee ent is near.

So lon A!

So lon E! (Nise to no ewe.)

So lon I!

So lon R! (Are ewe lonesome tonite?)

So lon S!

So lon T!

So lon W!

So lon O twin. (Remnant-twin is all alone now.)

Now onlee 5 remain at 12 o’time. Onlee 5. Onlee 5 remain.

Wear is tat paint?

Sinserelee ,

Ella

*** ***** **** n* o* ** mp* **** *** l*** ***

“LMNOP”:

No mo Nollop pomp!

No mo Nollop poo poo!

No mo 4 pop/1 moll Nollop looloo poop!

No no no mo plop, plop, plop, plomp!

No mo Nollop!

No, mon, no! O Noooooooo!

OOOOOOOO​OOO​OOOOO​OOO​OOO​OOO​OOO​OOOO​OOOOO​OOO​OO​OOO​OOO​OOO​OOO​OOO​OO​OO​!

— “LMNOP”

… Put them in one of the little crates; they’ll be easier to convey that way.

Would you mind doing this one last thing for me?

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs?

Thank you.

Be well. Be …

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs

[The Minnow Pea Residence]

NOLLOPTON

Thursday, November 16

Dear Mr. Rederick Lyttle,

Here is the sentence you require, delivered prior to the deadline imposed by the High Council — indeed, with three whole hours to spare.

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

Please note that this sentence is exactly 32 letters in length. It contains the requisite appearances of each of the 26 letters of the English alphabet. The sentence contains, further, no contractions or arguable proper names. It is, incidentally, neither declarative nor interrogative, but, in fact, is in the imperative mood. It is a command, Mr. Lyttle. An appropriate response to fifteen weeks of High Council orders, mandates, and edictal behests.

I must inform you that I did not come up with the sentence myself. The credit should actually go to my father Amos Minnow Pea. If, indeed, credit is due. I maintain that because the sentence was created unintentionally, in the course of a quickly penned farewell letter to my mother and me, Pop should not own responsibility. Nor should anyone. Or, perhaps, all of us.

And this is why I venture to tell you the truth of its genesis, risking, of course, a strict interpretation of your challenge. I venture so, for this reason, Mr. Lyttle: any one of us could have come up with such a sentence. We are, when it comes right down to it, all of us: mere monkeys at typewriters. Like Nollop. Nollop, low-order primate elevated to high-order ecclesiastical primate, elevated still further in these darkest last days to ultimate prime A grade superior being. For doing that which my father did without thinking. Think about it.

Truly yours ,

Ella Minnow Pea

FROM THE OFFICE OF HIGH COUNCILMAN REDERICK LYTTLE

Thursday, November 16

(Day One of the New Order)

Dear Miss Minnow Pea:

On behalf of the High Council, I accept your sentence. All relevant statutes have been rescinded. Please join me at your earliest convenience for tea in my office. I trust that your friend Tom, after having been successfully flushed out, will accompany you.

Fondly ,

Rederick Lyttle

NOLLOPTON, NOLLOP

Friday, November 17

(Day Two of the New Order)

Dear Mum, Pop, Mittie, and dear cousin Tassie,

It is over. You may all come home. Mr. Lyttle, on behalf of the High Council, has accepted my sentence — the thirty-two letter sentence which I proffered three hours prior to deadline. The council members assembled to read it, assembled in one great bug-eyed clump to read it aloud — over and over — then proceeded to examine it most carefully, counting each letter, identifying and pronouncing each grapheme in proper alphabetical sequence, and finally proclaiming the sentence an undeniable miracle.