Yu Hua - Brothers

Song Gang was sprinting and soon was covered in sweat and struggling to catch his breath. He ran so hard his eyes glazed over and he began frothing at the mouth. The wind blew past Baldy Li's ears, through his clothes, and flowed smoothly over his bald head. He gestured to Song Gang, saying, "Faster, faster. Run faster!"

Song Gang pushed the bike down the street until he felt he couldn't run another step. He gradually slowed to a stop and once again grasped the back tire between his legs, supporting Baldy Li as he climbed down. Then Song Gang squatted down and panted for about half an hour. Baldy Li, however, was eager for more. He caressed Song Gang's Eternity bicycle with both hands and recalled the sweet feeling of wind rushing past him. He then looked down at Song Gang, panting helplessly, and it was only then that he realized that Song Gang had been pushing him the entire way. He squatted down as if he were trying to help Song Gang catch his breath and gently patted his back. Baldy Li said to him, "Song Gang, you are extraordinary. You are truly an ignition engine incarnate." Then Baldy Li added regretfully, "Its too bad that you are not a real engine. If you were, then I could bike all the way to Shanghai."

Song Gang smiled as he panted. Holding his belly, he stood up and said, "Baldy Li, in the future you too will have a bicycle of your own, and at that point we can bike to Shanghai together."

Baldy Li's eyes were as bright and shiny as Song Gangs Eternity bicycle. He patted his bald head and said, "That's right, I will eventually have a bicycle of my own, and then we can bike to Shanghai together."

After a brief hesitation, Song Gang announced uncertainly, "Baldy Li, Lin Hong and I are getting married."

As he was saying this Song Gang handed Baldy Li the invitation and asked him to come to their wedding banquet. Baldy Li's exultant expression immediately turned dark. Refusing the invitation, he slowly turned and walked away. As he left he said sadly, "The rice is already cooked. What is there to celebrate?"

Song Gang stared after him as Baldy Li walked away, and the fraternal affection that they had momentarily regained dissipated like a wisp of smoke. Song Gang pushed his bicycle down the street with a heavy heart, forgetting even to ride it. He returned to Lin Hong's home, took out the invitation, and placed it on the table. When Lin Hong saw that he had brought Baldy Li's invitation back with him, she remarked, "So Baldy Li won't be coming?"

Song Gang nodded and said uneasily, "It seems as if he still hasn't given up hope."

Lin Hong snorted. "The rice is already cooked. What kind of hope is he holding on to?"

Song Gang heard this with surprise, wondering how it was that she and Baldy Li had used the same expression.

Of the seven banquet tables Lin Hong and Song Gang reserved at the People's Restaurant, Lin Hong's guests occupied six and Song Gang's just one. Baldy Li didn't attend. Neither did Writer Liu. While Liu suggested that he was disdainful of attending Song Gang's wedding banquet, the real reason was that he was simply too cheap — if he had come, he would have had to give the newlyweds a red envelope full of money. Liu stuck out his pinkie and said that Song Gang was an inconsequential person and he made it a practice never to impose on the hospitality of inconsequential people. However, he suggested he would condescend to visit Song Gangs new matrimonial quarters and take a look around, and he would offer his congratulations during the traditional festivities to be held there. All of Song Gangs workmates from the factory attended, and they happened to fill up precisely one table. The wedding banquet began at six that evening. Every table had ten dishes, including chicken, duck, fish, and pork. The guests drank fourteen bottles of baijiu liquor and twenty-eight bottles of rice wine. Eleven of the guests got slightly tipsy, seven of them got half drunk, and three got completely wasted. The three who got wasted each crawled under a separate table and started vomiting, inducing the seven guests who were only half drunk to start vomiting as well. The eleven tipsy guests also got into the mood, opening their mouths and letting out eleven different flavors of belches. As a result, Liu Towns most distinguished banquet hall in the People s Restaurant was left in complete disarray, smelling like a fertilizer factory. In the end, the air was so full of foul odors that it became impossible to catch a trace of the fragrant banquet dishes themselves.

That night Baldy Li also got drunk. He sat at home alone drinking baijiu, altogether drinking an entire jin of it. This was the first time he had ever gotten drunk, and afterward he cried himself to sleep. When he woke up the next morning, he was still whimpering. The neighbors heard him crying over his lost love and remarked that Baldy Li's crying ran the gamut of emotions: At different times he meowed like a cat in heat, screeched like a pig being slaughtered, lowed like a cow grazing grass, or crowed like a rooster greeting the dawn. The neighbors were very annoyed, saying that he made such a ruckus that they barely slept all night; even if they did manage to fall asleep, they had continuous nightmares.

After bawling for an entire night, the next day Baldy Li went to the hospital to have a vasectomy or, more specifically, a vasoligation. First he went to the Good Works Factory to obtain a certificate from his work unit. In this case, Baldy Li was not only the person requesting the operation but also the work unit supervisor in charge of approving the request. Therefore, he approved his own request and quite properly affixed a seal to the certificate. With this in hand, Baldy Li walked into the hospital clinics surgical unit with a martyred air, slapped the certificate onto the doctors desk, and announced loudly, "I have come to heed the call of Chinas birth control policy."

The doctor, of course, recognized that the person walking up to him demanding a vasectomy was the famous Baldy Li. He watched as Baldy Li stabbed at his abdomen with his hands as if they were knives, and wondered how there could be a man like this. He then looked at Baldy Li's work unit certificate and, noticing that Baldy Li was both the applicant and the supervisor approving the application wondered how there could be a certificate like this. He couldn't help but laugh, saying, "You've never been married and don't have any children. Why do you want a vasectomy?"

Baldy Li said heroically, "If I get a vasectomy without even having been married, won't that fulfill the population control policy that much better?"

The doctor wondered how in the world there could be a logic like this. He lowered his head and started laughing. Baldy Li impatiently pulled him up from his seat, as if he were the one planning on giving the doctor a vasectomy. He then wrestled the doctor into the operating room, where he unfastened his own belt, pulled down his pants, unbuttoned his shirt, lay down on the operating table, and ordered, "Ligate me!"

The operation was finished in less than an hour, after which an exuberant Baldy Li walked out the front door of the hospital. In his left hand he carried the medical certificate, and with his right hand he cupped his stitched-up groin. He stopped to rest every few steps until he arrived at Lin Hong and Song Gang's nuptial home.

Lin Hong's twenty workmates from the knitting factory had come to attend the traditional celebration of the matrimonial quarters. Writer Liu had also come and was sitting there happily with the twenty female factory workers, a blissful expression on his face. The girls hung a string from the ceiling and tied an apple to it, then urged the newlyweds to try to bite it at the same time. When Baldy Li walked in, the girls cried in alarm, since they all knew the history of his relationship with Lin Hong and Song Gang — a relationship that was somewhat of a love triangle, yet not quite, and that no one could figure out. Everyone assumed that Baldy Li had come to pick a fight. Lin Hong also tensed up when she saw him marching in with dead-set eyes, certain that he was up to no good. Song Gang was the only one who didn't notice anything wrong; simply overjoyed to see that his brother had come, Song Gang greeted him with a cigarette and said happily "Baldy Li, you finally made it."