Yu Hua - Brothers

By this point the crowds roar was deafening, and Baldy Li turned toward them, lifted his arms, and then thrust them back down again. In a manner reminiscent of the famous conductor Herbert van Karajan, Baldy Li lifted his arms seven times and thrust them back seven more times, and finally the crowds roar began to subside. Baldy Li lifted his index finger and spun around as he began to shhhh everyone. He repeatedly pivoted his body a full 180 degrees, almost making himself dizzy, until the crowd eventually grew silent. Baldy Li then cried out, "Everyone cooperate, okay?"

"Okay!" they shouted.

Baldy Li nodded with satisfaction, but the crowd started buzzing again. Baldy Li immediately lifted his finger and shhhhed them again while pivoting his body back and forth.

The bell announcing the end of the workday had not rung yet, but the knitting factory's Director Liu was an infamous chain-smoker. The thirty something director smoked three packs a day, puffing nonstop from morning to night. Smoking a cigarette, he was accompanied by several people to the entranceway where he learned that Baldy Li was laying siege to his factory and furthermore had brought virtually the towns entire population with him. As he strode toward the gate he jumped back in surprise when he saw the enormous crowd massed oppressively outside like a dark cloud and thought to himself that this Baldy Li really was an utter and complete bastard. Director Liu and Baldy Li often attended meetings together and therefore knew each other quite well. Director Liu greeted Baldy Li from far away and said warmly, "Director Li, Director Li …"

As he arrived at Baldy Li's side Director Liu forgot that his cigarette was about to burn down to his finger and complained softly, "Director Li, what are you doing here? Just look at how you have completely blocked the entranceway. What will the workers do when they get off work?"

Baldy Li laughed and said, "Director Liu, I just need you to let Lin Hong come out for a second. We will have a couple of things to tell her, after which I will immediately withdraw my troops and return home."

Director Liu recognized that this was the only solution. Furiously throwing away the cigarette that had already started to burn his fingers, he nodded. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it, and after taking a deep drag, he turned around and asked one of his companions to go and fetch Lin Hong.

Ten minutes later, Lin Hong appeared, her hands clasped together, head bowed, and her gait as stiff as that of Baldy Li's cripples. Lin Hongs appearance made the crowd roar with anticipation. Baldy Li turned around anxiously to face them and once again lifted and lowered his arms like von Karajan. The crowds roars gradually leveled off, and Baldy Li turned and saw that Lin Hong had arrived. He quickly waved to his fourteen loyal minions and, with his left hand covering his mouth, he pointed majestically at the sky with his right. The three idiots in the rear responded the fastest and immediately covered their mouths with their hands, after which the two deaf-mutes started clapping. Then the eight crippled, blind, and deaf men in the vanguard started shouting out in unison, "Lin Hong! Lin Hong! Lin Hong!"

The crowd also began to chant, "Lin Hong! Lin Hong! Lin Hong!"

The crippled, blind, and deaf men then shouted, "Please come and be the Good Works Factory's First Lady. Please come and be the Good Works Factory's First Lady…"

The crowd buzzed with confusion. But after the eight crippled, blind, and deaf men had recited the message four times, the crowd finally understood what they were saying and began to roar like the sea, stripping the message down to its essence and making it into a chant: "First Lady! First Lady! First Lady!"

Tears welled up in Baldy Li's eyes and he exclaimed, "The roar of the masses is so powerful."

Lin Hong, approaching with her head bowed, stopped in her tracks, petrified with fear, and looked up at the crowd. Then she turned around and started walking back inside. As soon as Lin Hong turned to leave, one of the three idiots, who up to that point had been obediently covering his mouth, unexpectedly caught a glimpse of her beauty as she lifted her head. He immediately lost control of himself, pushed the idiot standing in front of him aside, and ran in pursuit of Lin Hong with both arms extended. Drooling madly, he kept repeating, "Missy, hug me, please hug me…"

The crowd murmured in surprise, then exploded into a boom of laughter like an airplane taking off. Baldy Li had not expected that he would have to deal with a love-crazed idiot. Cursing to himself, he rushed forward and grabbed the idiot, roaring under his breath, "Get the fuck back here, you crazy idiot."

The love-crazed idiot struggled to free himself from Baldy Li's grasp and continued to pursue Lin Hong, still shouting, "Missy, a hug …"

Baldy Li rushed forward and grabbed him again, then quietly reasoned with him: "Lin Hong can't hug you because she wants to hug me. If she hugs me, she will be a first lady, but if she hugs you, she will be an idiot lady."

With Baldy Li grabbing him, the love-crazed idiot found himself unable to continue pursuing Lin Hong. He became very angry and proceeded to punch Baldy Li in his left eye so hard that he cried out in pain. Baldy Li seized the idiots clothing from behind and gestured to his thirteen other minions, commanding, "Quick, take him away."

The idiot couldn't understand why he was now suddenly unable to pursue Lin Hong. He began to flail his arms madly like a drowning man. The thirteen loyal minions all rushed forward, the five deaf men in front, the remaining three idiots following confusedly behind, and the two cripples hobbling after them; even the four blind men realized that something had happened and were approaching slowly, tapping their canes. Baldy Li's five deaf and two crippled loyal minions helped wrestle the love-crazed idiot to the ground. The two noninfatuated idiot minions stood to the side laughing idiotically, and the four blind loyal minions stood in a row like four workers on a picket line, rhythmically tapping their canes on the ground. When the infatuated idiot found himself on the ground, he screamed like a pig at the slaughterhouse, "Missy, a hug …"

Baldy Li's attempt to court Lin Hong by the stratagem of laying siege at the outskirts of the city therefore had to conclude in a hurry. Covering his left eye with one hand, Baldy Li gestured for his thirteen loyal minions to drag the infatuated idiot back to the Good Works Factory. As before, the two cripples led the way, followed by the five deaf men and two idiots dragging their love-crazed counterpart, with the four blind men following closely behind. Even as he was being dragged away, the infatuated idiot continued to cry out "Missy" and "hug me." The five deaf men had to continuously wipe his spittle from their faces, as did the other two idiots. The two idiots, not entirely clear where the spittle was coming from, lifted their heads and looked curiously at the sky, unable to understand why their faces were so wet.

The people of Liu all discussed these events avidly and agreed that the most interesting part of this afternoon's proceedings was not Baldy Li and Lin Hong but, rather, Baldy Li and that infatuated idiot, especially when the idiot punched Baldy Li, leaving him with a black eye the size of an apple. Everyone laughed uproariously at this and chattered nonstop about how they hadn't expected the idiots under Baldy Li's command to turn around and strike their own team, leaving Baldy Li with only one usable eye. As the old saying goes, For a friend one will take two daggers in the chest, but for a woman one will stab a friend twice —an irrefutable logic that applied perfectly to the situation. The crowd started speculating about how Baldy Li might have to wear an eye patch over his black eye and said, "Baldy Li is going to be a European pirate."