Yu Hua - Brothers

The virgin beauties and the Liu townspeople all laughed as they enjoyed this song-and-dance between Wandering Zhou and Poet Zhao. But as they watched they became somewhat confused. One man pointed at Song Gang and asked Poet Zhao, "He was clearly asking Song Gang, so why are you always the one who answers?"

"Would you be willing to talk openly about sleeping with your wife?" Poet Zhao retorted. "You wouldn't be, and neither is Song Gang. Therefore, he asked me to answer for him."

By this point Song Gang profoundly regretted having gotten himself into this situation and kept his head bowed low. Song Gang didn't say a word, neither nodding nor shaking his head. He just stood there, feeling extremely uncomfortable, as if there were a dull knife sawing away at his flesh. Wandering Zhou's sales pitch was extremely successful, and though no one bought a hymen on the spot, that night people kept waking Wandering Zhou and Poet Zhao as they slept next to the road, quietly asking to buy their artificial hymens. For several nights in a row, Wandering Zhou and Poet Zhao were woken by these hymen buyers even more often than by the mosquitoes. Most of the time it was virgin beauties who had come to take part in the competition, but sometimes it was young women from Liu Town. Of course, many men came to buy them as well, having all been affected by Poet Zhao's pitch and thinking to themselves that if they couldn't sleep with another woman, then at least they could experience several more first nights with their own wives.

All of this made Wandering Zhou look at Poet Zhao with new respect. He said, "You are truly a rare talent, and we should definitely collaborate in the future. This time your bonus will probably exceed your original salary."

When Poet Zhao heard this, he was delighted and asked, "How much of a bonus will I receive?"

Wandering Zhou replied, "You'll know when the time comes."

That same day, news of their performance made its way to Lin Hong, who became furious. She was about to erupt in anger when she returned home, but seeing Song Gang slumped on the couch with an uneasy, pathetic expression softened her heart, and she realized that he was merely trying to earn money for their household. Shaking her head, she walked to the outer room, but when she saw Poet Zhao, her anger immediately returned. She rushed at him furiously and, seeing that there was no one around, said in a low voice, "You bastard!"

THE INAUGURAL National Virgin Beauty Competition finally began, attracting worldwide attention. In recognition of the fact that the event was being held in the street, and in consideration of both the blazing sun and the virgin beauties’ delicate skin, the organizing committee decided to host the competition between afternoon and evening. The opening day was the most magnificent afternoon Liu Town had ever seen. Three thousand bikini-wearing virgin beauties — tall and short, fat and thin, beautiful and ugly — stood in a row stretching back more than a mile. Even the longest street in Liu Town was not long enough to hold them all, and therefore the line of virgin beauty troops turned a corner, extended over a bridge, and stretched down a second street.

The entire town turned out for the spectacle. The stores closed, all the factories stopped work, and all the other businesses also let their employees off early. As a result, everyone in town was crowded up and down both sides of the street, the wutong trees on the sides of the road were full of people who had clambered up them like monkeys, and all the electrical poles had men performing pole dances on them. The windows of the houses on both sides of the street were full of people, as were the rooftops. The doctors and nurses from the hospitals rushed out, explaining that if they didn't come see the spectacle, it would be a thousand years before a similar opportunity presented itself. The patients also came out, some using crutches and others with their arms in slings. Those who were in the process of having intravenous infusions came out holding their IV bottles, and those who had just had operations were carried out by their friends and relatives. Even if they had to be lying on a gurney or sitting on the backs of bicycles, everyone came out.

People from neighboring cities and counties spent up to five or six hours riding over on their bicycles, and then another five or six hours biking back after having caught a glimpse of the virgin beauties. Liu Town, which ordinarily had a population of about thirty thousand, more than tripled in size, to more than one hundred thousand. The streets with the virgin beauties standing in line were cleared out, and the traffic cops, armed police, and peoples police were mobilized, forming a firewall to hold back the crowds. For the police, this was their happiest day, because they were able to see the virgin beauties more up close than anyone else. Even happier, however, were the reporters, since they were the only ones allowed to walk up and down the cleared-out streets. When they spotted a pretty woman, they would stop and interview her, carefully inspecting her heaving bosom and her belly button.

There was an enormous crowd of men behind the virgin beauties, and without exception, the bottoms of all three thousand virgin beauties ended up getting groped. Some of the men had taken off their shirts and were wearing only shorts, and they shouted out to the men behind them not to crowd too closely, while they shamelessly pressed their naked chests against the bikini-clad beauties. Some of the virgin beauties cried, some cursed, and others screamed in anger. With the air of innocent victims, the men in front would turn around and berate the crowds behind them, telling them not to push.

Baldy Li had repeated over and over again that the reason he was holding the beauty pageant in the street was in order to allow everyone to watch it for free. But after one of his trips to the restroom, he emerged with fresh inspiration on how to make money. He told PR Liu to immediately organize a team of people to publicize and sell "inspection" tickets. After a massive blitz of publicity, marketing, and sales, PR Liu sold more than five thousand inspection tickets. He rented all the trucks from Liu and neighboring cities and provinces for ticket holders to stand on — inspecting the virgin beauties as though they were inspecting military troops — but even then he couldn't accommodate all five thousand ticket holders. Finally, he also rented tractors from every farmer from one hundred li around. The line of virgin beauty troops extended more than a mile, while the line of cars and tractors carrying the inspectors stretched for two and a half miles.

Leading the way were twenty convertibles carrying Baldy Li and Tao Qing, the competition organizing committee, political leaders and judges, corporate sponsors and VIPs, with Popsicle Wang and Yanker Yu bringing up the rear in the final car. Yanker Yu had been on his way from Europe to Africa, but after Popsicle Wang called him up and told him about the Virgin Beauty Competition, he immediately changed plans and returned to Liu, deciding that, given the momentous occasion, it was high time for him to show his face. Yu stood in the open car wearing an exquisitely tailored suit with a perfectly matched shirt and tie. He looked so at home in his suit, it was as if he had never worn anything else in his entire life. He glanced over at Popsicle Wang standing next to him. Wang was also wearing a suit, but the sleeves were so long they covered the tips of his fingers, and the collar was so large that even buttoned up you could still see his collarbone. On top of that, he was wearing one of those cheap red ties that looked like an emergency pull tab. Disappointed by Popsicle Wangs attire, Yanker Yu shook his head and said, "You have no sense of style."